The Citizen, 2002-10-02, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 2, 2002. PAGE 5.
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This guy's loaded for bear
Life has a funny way of getting your
, attention. For Isaac Newton. it was an
apple on the noggin.
For Archimedes, it was noticing how the
water level rose when he got into the bathtub.
For Troy Hurtubise, it was getting knocked
flat by a grizzly bear he calls The Old Man.
It happened on the banks of Humidity Creek
in northern British Columbia, back in 1984.
Hurtubise was by himself, panning for gold
along a creek, when he looked up and saw,
staring back at him, a grizzly big enough to
block out the sun.
The bear was so big and so powerful, it sent
Hurtubise sprawling with a blow from its
snout.
Hurtubise was reasonably certain that he was
living through his last few moments on earth,
but the bear, unaccountably, lost interest and
strolled off into the bush.
Needless to -say, Hurtubise would never
forget the encounter, but what really rattled
him was the feeling of absolute helplessness
that washed over him when he faced that bear.
He couldn't run, he couldn't hide, and the idea
of fighting back was utterly ludicrous.
Personally, I am quite comfortable with the
knowledge that even a puny grizzly could kick
my butt in a nanosecond, but not Troy
Hurtubise. He resolved that day, to figure out a
way that he could stand up, unarmed, in front
of a wild grizzly, and live to tell about it.
Thus began Project Grizzly - one man's
The man who brought more disgrace
on' the Ontario legislature than
anyone in history is back talking, but
refusing to say he is sorry.
Alan Eagleson, a Progressive
Conservative MPP in the 1960s and friend
of premiers and prime ministers for more
than three decades, has spoken publicly for
the first time since being released from jail.
He had served six months of an 18
months' sentence for defrauding hockey
players and others in a sport in which he was
a big-time agent and organizer.
Eagleson was not the first former MPP
sent to jail. New Democrat John Brown was
sentenced to three years in 1979 for
defrauding the province in billing it for
homes he ran for emotionally disturbed
children.
Terry Jones, a Tory and former deputy
speaker, was jailed for six months in 1992
for defrauding people he persuaded to invest
in land development schemes.
Will Ferguson, briefly an NDP energy
minister, was jailed for a week in 1998 for
punching his estranged wife.
But none was in the same league in
politics as Eagleson, although the newest
reports describe him only as a 'hockey czar.'
Eagleson moved in top political circles.
He threw away his riding by neglecting' it,
but the Ontario Tories liked him so much
they quickly elected him party president and
he chaired a leadership convention in which
he got almost as much TV time as the
winner and premier, William Davis.
Eagleson mused often about running again
for the legislature, and premiership when
Davis stepped down, but never did either.
Tory national leader Joe Clark asked him
to run federally, but he said he was tied up in
hockey.
Eagleson hovered around Davis and
organized an annual premier's reception at
which Davis, his ministers and business
Arthur
Black
personal quest to create a grizzly-proof suit,
Hurtubise retired to his basement workshop
and went to work. Using only basic tools and a
welding torch he's worked his way through
several prototypes - from early models
incorporating not much more than hockey
equipment and duct tape to Robocop-like suits
of armour made from heavy-gauge aluminum,
stainless steel, high-tech plastic, titanium - you
name it .
And he's built some pretty tough suits. Suits
that could withstand: a blast from a 12-gauge
shotgun at 20 feet; a 150-foot drop off the.
Niagara Escarpment; 18 different encounters
with a three-ton pickup going 30 miles an
hour; and assault by a 350-lb log swinging
down from 30 feet up in a tree.
The suits survived, and so did Hurtubise who
was inside them.
His latest model - he calls it the Ursus Mark
VII - is more like a lunar landing craft than a
body suit. It contains an air conditioning unit,
protective airbags, robotic hands (Hurtubise
manipulates them with his tongue), a built-in
leaders hobnobbed for their mutual benefit.
After Davis retired, Eagleson had the
chutzpah and influence to keep it going with
Liberal premier David Peterson as honoured
guest. Davis also ran a picture of him and
Eagleson together in his official biography.
Eagleson was invited to the wedding of
Liberal Prime Minister Jean Chretien's
daughter, France. He was still making
speeches for Ontario Tories, who did not
seem to consider him a handicap, long after
fraud charges had been laid against him in
the U.S. and investigations started in
Canada.
A former Liberal prime minister, John
Turner, and one-time Ontario Tory finance
minister, Darcy McKeough, also wrote to
court saying they had nothing but respect for
him. Eagleson had far-reaching connections
to politicians.
Eagleson now says he is "sorry for my
family and what they had to go through," but
had no word of regret for the his victims,
who include hockey players whose pay was,
paltry compared to today.
He has no word of apology either for the
legislature, where he has played a large part
in further reducing respect for and trust in
politicians.
Eagleson said he "paid the price — I paid a
huge price," but many will feel he got off
Final Thought
Once you get people laughing, they're
listening and you can tell them almost
anything.
• — Herbert Gardner
computer and a video screen which allows the
wearer to have 360-degree vision without
moving his head.
Hurtubise, who must strip to his shorts and
cover his body with Vaseline just to get into the
Ursus Mark VII, figures he's put more than
1,600 hours and over $200,000 into this model
alone.
That's enough to earn him a spot in the
Guinness Book of World Records for having
the world's most expensive research suit, but it
still doesn't answer the only question that
really matters to Troy Hurtubise - is Ursus
Mark VII tough enough to withstand an all-out
attack from an enraged bear?
That's Hurtubise's big problem right now -
he can't find a suitable dancing partner.
Pickup trucks, swinging logs, even a gang of
toughs with baseball bats and crowbars are old
hat now. He wants to meet a bear. The thing is,
bears in captivity don't have the untamed edge
that makes a grizzly in the wild such an
awesome force of nature.
But wild grizzlies are hard to find.
Especially if you're clomping around in a
high-tech suit of armour.
Still, should you happen to find yourself on
the banks of Humidity Creek sometime and
you spot a critter than looks like a cross
between The Michelin Man and a Marvel
Comics Action Figure - pay it no mind.
That's just Troy Hurtubise looking for a
rematch.
easily. After only four months in jail, he was
let out on day parole to work in the office of
a metal fabricating company owned by a
friend, returning each night, and released on
full parole after six months.
This seems lenient considering he was
ordered to pay more than $1 million
restitution to victims, which pointed to the
extent of his crimes.
Eaglesorr still feels wronged. He says he
does not agree with the allegations made
against him. But he pleaded guilty in court
and his lawyer said "he will not.dispute the
facts."
Eagleson complains the allegations
against him took away almost all his money,
but he still lives seven months of the year in
a spacious farmhouse near Collingwood
registered in his wife's name and the other
five months in a rented apartment in
London, England, where he says there 1,
more culture.
He does not sound like a man terribly
deprived and no-one around today's
legislature has been heard to express sorrow
for him either.
Letter
THE EDITOR,
Don't forget the Communities in Bloom Fall
Home Decorating Challenge. We'd love to see
your homes decorated with scarecrows
fashioned with straw, created from cloth,
wired onto a wood frame, posed with a
pumpkin head or dressed any-which-way-at-
all to qualify for this contest. Also in the
categories are pumpkin .and cornstalk displays.
This is a fun time of the yearand we would
like everyone to enter.
The judging will be the week of Oct. 7. so
it's not too late to enter.
Entry forms are available at Grand View
Restaurant and Gas Bar, Luann's Country
Flowers or Olde Village Wicker and Gifts.
Sincerely,
Blyth's Communities in Bloom Committee.
Bonnie
Gropp
• The short of it
No stopping by
As a young mother with a houseful of
children, I often envisaged what life
would be like when they were grown.
The images I conjured were of little
grandchildren running up the street, around the
corner, at various times of day, to pAy a visit to
Grandma and Grandpa. I saw opportunities for
overnight stays, quick surprise trips to special
near-by places for shopping or eats.
The mental pictures I had depicted -pop-ins
from my kids on their way to and trorn work,
or picking up their children at school. Five
minute visits during an evening walk. Sunday
brunch, Friday night cocktails.
That was how the future looked to me when
I was a young mom. However, if I was
counting on it, if that was how I hoped it
would be, then things aren't looking so good.
I heard somewhere recently that when God
hears us making plans, He laughs. There must
have been some omnipresent chuckling going
on during my naive daydreams.
Regular readers of this column will know
that I have four children. In my wildest
imaginings I would never have placed them
where they have thus far ended up. Three-
quarters of my brood lives in the GTA. One is
'close by' in Waterloo. There's no popping in
going on. .
It's good that they are independent, making
their own choices and living their own lives.
Certainly it would be nice if even one lived
nearby, but at least they're all within driving
distance.
Last weekend I bit the bullet and made the
harrowing trip to spend some time with my
daughters. One lives in relative normalcy in
Oakville. Cars may come at you fast there, but
at least there's room. Also, there is only a short
distance required on the 401 making the best
of a less than great situation,
Arriving at her home, she in turn, delivered
me to her sister's apartment, which I had not
yet seem This child, of different chromosomal
make-up than her siblings, is quite
cosmopolitan. The bigger the city, the better.
She, therefore, has moved herself as deep
into the heart of metro as possible. To her it is
funky, quaint, exciting. To me it is
claustrophobic chaos.
Arriving at her street, my other daughter
informed me that she would not turn Into the
driveway and parking lot, I puzzled, then
looked.
It is indeed funky and quaint. And terribly
exciting from the inside of a car.
The neighbourhood is a tight streetscape
lined with old trees, small yards and parked
vehicles. It's also a residential sardine can,
with houses packed in so tightly people could
hold hands with the folks next door simply by
putting an arm out the window.
And it was in this limited space, this tiny
alley, a paved slice dividing two walls of solid
brick that my daughter refused to try and
maneuver the car.
Cars on both sides of the street narrowed the
road before us, so that only one direction could
pass, but traffic continued to move both ways.
We gamely pushed on, until squeezing into the
lone empty space a city block away, shutting
Orr the car and breathing again.
Later that evening, I expressed my pleasure
with how effortlessly I had made the trip to
Oakville. "1 can do this, no problem." I said to
my daughter. And as it wasn't even two hours.
I will probably visit more often than 1 thought.
The younger, unfortunately. I will not be
popping in on any time soon.
Disgraced politician not sorry