The Citizen, 2002-05-01, Page 5Final Thought
Man is still the most extraordinary computer
of all.
- John F Kennedy
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MAY 1, 2002. PAGE 5.
Other Views
Well, colour me country
Know what the number one selling CD
is across the charts as I type these
words, according to Billboard, the
bible of popular music?
0, Brother, Where Art Thou.
That's right. A collection of bluegrass music
is outselling Nelly Furtado, Diana Krall, The
Three Tenors - even The Backstreet Boys.
Which means country music is - well, I was
going to say, 'making a comeback' — but the
fact is, it never really went away.
Country twang has always been the
backbone of popular music in North America
from the days of Jimmy Rogers, the Singin'
Brakeman, through the Hanks (Williams and
Snow) and the Carters (Wilf and Mother
Maybelle) up past KD Lang and Shania Twain
all the way to, well, the folks who crooned and
swooned on the sound track of 0, My Brother.
And I have no trouble with that.
What I have trouble with, is the Fake
Country. The ersatz, hockey hair, pointy boots,
rifle-rack-in-the-pickup, sittin'-on-a-barstool-
lookin'-inna-mirror-wonderin'-'bout-my-baby,
whining-in-my-Coors-Lite Garth Brooks kinda
country.
Lobotomies shouldn't be mandatory for
listening to Country Music.
Giants like Hank Williams and Patsy Cline
sang anthems that stopped your heart and cut
you off at the knees, whether you were
Princess Margaret or Tonya Harding. Media
mutants like Billy Ray Cyrus and Faith Hill
remind me of a story about Samuel Clemens.
Clemens was a man who, besides being a
literary genius, loved to curse. His wife didn't
love to hear him curse.
Lon
Ever since the arrival of the euro on the
scene in Europe, there has been talk
about the same thing happening in
North America. The Canadian and American
dollars as well as the Mexican peso would
become one currency which would then live
happily (well, more or less) ever after
according to protagonists.
For one thing, it would do away with the
• annoying necessity of having to figure out how
much something in the U.S. is worth in
Canadian dollars and vice versa. I have an easy
formula which I teach to all my students but it
doesn't seem to go beyond the classroom
doors. With the one currency you would know
whether a motel room in Louisville were
expensive or cheap.
The Americans don't have that problem; they
know everything is cheap in Canada, except
gas and a few other things.
Since about 80 per cent of our business is
with the U.S., having one currency would make
it easier to do business. A lot of Canadians do
this already, especially ones like Bombardier
since it already owns companies there.
All oil production is quoted in U.S. dollars
and having a single currency would remove
this irritation for Canadians.
All well and good! But let's get back to the
euro. In spite of all the favourable publicity, it
was political and not economics, which brought
about its creation. Most Europeans were
actually against it, especially in countries such
as Germany which was loathe to give up its
solid mark, one of the hardest currencies in the
world.
In the european community there are no less
than 12 countries, more or less equal. The
newly created European Central Bank has to
constantly keep in mind that it is there for the
collective good of all 12 countries.
As a matter of fact, the current governor of
the Bank, Wim Duisberg, is from Holland.
Can you imagine for one minute Washington
One day Clemens cut himself shaving and let
loose with a cannonade of oaths and
imprecations calculated to peel paint off a wall.
His wife, hoping to shame him, looked him in
the face and repeated his off-colour tirade,
word for word.
Clemens listened, his eyes twinkled, and he
said: "You have the lyrics, my dear, but you
have not quite mastered the melody."
That's how I feel about most modern day
country singers. They're singing the words, but
they don't really understand them.
That said, there's nothing quite like modern
country music song titles.
But don't take my word for it - ask Mike
Harden. Mike's a columnist for a newspaper
called The Columbus Dispatch, down in Ohio.
For the last decade or so, Mike's haunted music
stores and back issues of Billboard magazine,
collecting what he modestly calls The Worst
Country Song Titles of All Time Until the Next
Time.
What sort of titles make the All Time Until
Next Time list? How about: "If My Nose Were
Full Of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You"?
Or: "You Done Tore My Heart Out And
Stomped That Sucker Flat"?
We have other contenders:
"I've Been Roped and Throwed By Jesus in
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
showing the same collective approach. A
single North American currency with one
central bank would be run from and for the
United States. Canadians would become the
traditional hewers of wood and carriers of
water. The Mexicans would be the source of
cheap labour and oil.
If you doubt this, just watch how Washington
tries to manipulate the free trade agreement to
its own ends.
It is often claimed that a unified currency
would solve all the problems that ail us. This
argument, too, is highly erroneous. The floating
exchange rate that we currently have not only
protects us from higher rates of unemployment
and lower real rates of wages but also shifts the
economy away from the resource sector to
more productive areas. This, after all, is
precisely what we should be aiming for.
Nor is the Canadian dollar as weak as it is
frequently made out to be. Other major
currencies, including the euro and the Swiss
franc have been dropping along with our
loonie. We happen to notice the drop in the
value simply because our dollar is almost
always expressed in terms of the American
dollar.
The euro has lost one-third of its value in the
short time it has been in existence.
It is worth nothing that, while most
economists have been, and continue to be in
favour of trade liberalization as the way for
Canada to go, the same percentage are against
a unified currency for North America. The
Americans could probably care less; they know
the Holy Ghost Corral".
"All I Want From You Is Away".
"If Whiskey Was A Woman, I'd Be Married
For Sure".
"I Got You On My Conscience but at Least
You're Off My Back".
And one of my favourites: "Walk Out
Backwards Slowly So Think You're
Walking In".
Actually, my all-time favourite country song
title was written by a Canadian - some would
say, the Great Canadian of his time - Peter
Growski.
Growski - as I'm sure only 13 Canadians
don't know - was the radio host of a program
called This Country In The Morning - later,
Morningside. It was broadcast over the
airwaves of Canada from coast to coast to coast
from the late '70s to the late '90s - and it
changed the life of many a Canuck who was
fortunate enough to hear it.
But Growski had another incarnation - as
the host of a late-night - and disastrous - TV
talk show on CBC. Growski was nervous - and
it showed.
The critics were merciless - and they
pounced.
Years later, when the wounds had healed and
the scar tissue was almost unnoticeable,
Growski offered up, on national radio, his
submission for the ultimate country music
song title:
"When You Wake Up In The Morning and
the Makeup On the Pillow Is Your Own."
And you know what? I'd give three pickups,
a fifth of Jack Daniels and my best Stetson just
to hear Growksi growl the lyrics to that song.
how great their currency is and they expect that
sooner or later the U.S. dollar will be the
currency of choice.
I have to agree with the statement that living
beside the United States is frequently like a
mouse living beside an elephant - and a
twitchy one at that.
I have a feeling, too, that a move to-a single
currency would give the Separatists in Quebec
yet another excuse to condemn the Canadian
federation; it would be, they could argue, a
country too weak to stand up to the United
States, while Quebec, as a separate nation,
would not hesitate to protect the interests of
Francophones in that province.
Quebec Premier Bernard Landry and the
Separatists need all the arguments they can get
and we don't want to hand them one.
Incidentally they would quickly discover
how little independence they would have even
if there were only the free trade agreement.
One of the repeated themes I hear constantly
is the desire of most Canadians to maintain a
society that is different from that of the United
States. In the field of culture it is a well- nigh
impossible task with the possible exception of
the French Canadians who have been much
more successful than the rest of the country in
retaining some uniqueness.
At least in the economic field we can hold
our own even if it is difficult. Just because we
do 80 per cent of all our business with the U.S.
is no reason to accept their monetary system.
For these reasons we have to treat with a
considerable amount of skepticism the
blandishments of those in favour of a single
currency. Keeping control of our monetary
policy is essential even in or should I say
especiall y' in a free trade world.
Level balance
Stress — a word often heard these. days,
particularly when used as a noun. In this
manner, the Oxford Dictionary defines
stress as "pressure or tension, and the, quantity
measuring this; demand on physical or mental
energy, distress caused by this:'
What the dictionary doesn't say is how
familiar this little word has become. Walk
down the street, enjoy a night with friends, talk
to children or eavesdrop on conversations in a
coffee house and it would seem that stress is a
big part of just about everyone's life, While
some find denial an appropriate way of dealing
with it, (they're wrong, by the way) the candid
are enough of a majority to prove that stress is
a living, breathing reality to our existence.
Stress has been described as anything that
stimulates us. Obviously, life without
stimulation would be boring, but, as we all
know, you can get too much of a good thing.
With too much stimulus comes' exhaustion.
And with exhaustion comes a danger to health
and interference in effective functioning.
When stress is long-term, sufferers can feel
worn out, depressed, or at worst completely
fall apart.
Because of this, because of the realization
that it is such a common problem today,
people are looking for ways to manage and
control their levels of stress. There are
workshops in stress management, books to
offer suggestions on how to cope, relaxation
tapes and new age counsellors to guide you.
Even exercise is getting in on the act, with
mind and body programs such as yoga gaining
in popularity. ..
I recently picked up a book which
specifically offers women tips on self-
nurturing. One of the first chapters dealt with
guilt and the fact that by taking care of
ourselves first we are actually bet'er able to
meet the needs of others. From there the book
follows through with a wealth of information,
some fairly practical, some a little more out
there. • I
It was also interesting to note that many of
the suggestions are things done on a regular
basis, such as a walk with nature. But where
we err is by not enjoying these pursuits to the
max. See, hear and touch, take time to value
what you experience. Too often we find the
time for the activity, but view it in fast
forward, at just a slightly slower pace than
we're travelling through most of life.
You often sit on your porch or deck, but
when was the last time you sat there alone, for
15 minutes, without a book, without music,
and felt the air and sun, listened to the birds'
song? You often look at the sky on a clear
summer night, but when was the last time you
spread a blanket on your lawn, laid back and
stared at the twinkling heavens above you?
You often take a moment to relax, but when
was the last time you did so without a thought
in your head?
I often think back to earlier generations,
women like my grandmothers whose lives
pretty much consisted of work, and wonder it'
they ever felt like women do today. Were they
anxious and tired, running short of hours? if
they were 1 never heard a hint of it.
But then again when Grandma Ott took us to
the fishpond, we looked at those fish. And
when Grandma Matthews walked in her
garden, that was all there was for her. Perhaps
they had discovered that truly appreciating life
balances the stress levels.
live the Canadian dollar