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The Citizen, 1999-08-18, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 18, 1999. PAGE 5. ^Arthur Black •'F There auto be a law What do you figure the worst thing is about our love affair with cars? The fact that more North Americans have been killed by cars than were killed by bombs, guns and bayonets in the two Great Wars? That’s pretty bad, alright. The fact that our millions of jalopies are gobbling up the earth’s fossil fuels faster than we can pump it out? That’s not good either. The fact that exhaust emissions from said jalopies are turning the planet into a galactic hothouse? That’s a bummer too - but it’s not the worst thing about cars. The worst thing about cars is that they have bumpers fore and aft. And bumpers almost invariably lead to Right turn1? Reft turn'? Have you ever come out to your parked car and found that on both sides there was a van or station wagon which effectively blocked your view? You had to move the car gingerly and had no idea which way, left or right, was the best way to tum. If so, you will have some idea of how the NDP feels right now in Ontario after the last provincial election, not to mention the debacle in New Brunswick, which saw the party hard put to retain its one seat. While the party in Ontario was obviously the victim of what was called “strategic voting” it is also suffering from its failure to mark out a path for itself. It obviously has not taken a page from the social democrat decision in western Europe to move more to the political, not to mention the economic right. Led by Tony Blair, whose New Labour party has currently not a great deal to distinguish itself from the previous Conservative government, socialists have found themselves in power also in France, where Lionel Jospin holds sway, and Germany where Qerhard Schroeder recently found himself elected. Soon after that he got nd of his finance minister, Oskar Lafontaine, whose bumper stickers. Bumper stickers! Has there been a greater collective insult to human intelligence than the average bumper sticker? MY OTHER CAR IS A ROLLS-ROYCE! Bumper stickers! They remove the last chance we have of never having to know exactly how dumb the guy in the next car is. SNOWBOARDERS DO IT ON THE SLOPES! Bumper stickers. There is a book on the market entitled Bumper Sticker Wisdom: America’s Pulpit Above the Tailpipe. Wisdom? As in HONK IF YOU LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC. Or the profoundly philosophical: CANADA KICKS ASS. These aren’t even the worst of the bumper sticker buffoonery out there. You get car owners anxious to clarify their positions on Important Questions of The Day: SAVE THE BLUE-TAILED SKINK POTTERS FOR A FREON-FREE CANADA And my all time favourite: FATHERS By Raymond Canon traditionally socialist economic agenda was considered not to be in keeping with that of the new left. This is not to say that the three leaders are marching in complete step with each other. Blair may be the intellectual leader or inspiration for Schroeder and Jospin, but the latter two have some domestic concerns of their own that cannot be addressed by British theory. Nor would either want to be seen by their electorate as too beholden to the thinking of the British prime minister. The trade union movement in Great Britain, which traditionally dominated the Labour Party, was dealt a serious blow in the time of Margaret Thatcher, whose goal it was to curb what she considered to be excessive union power. She certainly succeeded but the most interesting aspect of this change is that Tony Blair, the first Labourite to gain power after Mrs. Thatcher, made no move whatsoever to restore to the unions any of their previous glory. At party rallies and conferences, those adhering to the old left are listened to politely but then all but ignored. This contrasts with the rhetoric that I often hear in Ontario. Frequently, letters to the editor, not to mention columns written by NDP supporters, repeat the tired Marxist cliches that could have earlier been taken right out of Pravda. Judging from some of these letters, the class struggle is alive and well here, if not on the other side of the ocean. Tony Blair is listened to very carefully in the 1 RIGHTS FOR GENDER EQUALITY I don’t even know what that means. There’s a curmudgeon in the States that summed it up better than I can. Columnist Bill Tammeus recently wrote: “Can we please get rid of the stupid bumper stickers? There is no public demand at all for you to tell us ... what your position is on Kosovo or nuclear waste. I’m happy that you’ve developed a position on Kosovo. So have I. But if it can be contained on a bumper sticker, it’s so amazingly moronic and meaningless that you should not want to advertise and reveal its nincompoopedness.” Amen to that. I have nothing against witty bumper stickers - aside from the fact that they’re so distressingly rare. As a matter of fact, I can think of only two: JESUS IS COMING - TRY TO LOOK BUSY. And for Canadian flavour: MULRONEY FOR CONGRESS. But my all time favourite hands down, no question: HONK IF YOU LOVE PEACE AND QUIET U.S.A., but the Americans do not have to worry about a socialist party of any importance. It is minuscule and plays no role in elections of any kind. Labour unions south of the border have to find a place in one of the two main parties if they want to have their concerns heard or even acted on. If the NDP moves to the right, it runs into the ground staked out by either the Conservatives or the Liberals or even both. If it turns to the left, it runs a grave risk of being ignored by an increasing number of Canadian voters. Nor is it conceivably any better if it stays where it is. Both Alexa McDonough and Howard Hampton have a tough job deciding what path to follow. It doesn’t make it easier for them to learn that even Tony Blair is fallible; his party got hammered in the recent elections for the European Parliament and by the Conservatives at that. Politicians everywhere have to be nimble these days. A Final Thought The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way. - Dale Carnegie The Short of it By Bonnie Gropp Touching many bases / They say a change is as good as a rest. If that were the case then I should indeed be well rested following my vacation because things pretty much changed everyday. Unfortunately, at no time did the opportunity for rest ever become part of any perpetual change. What my holiday did accomplish however was allowing me to get to many of those places and things I’ve been struggling to see and do for quite awhile. My job means that evenings and weekends are not sacrosanct; a belief that they are open when the day begins can become mere fantasy as a phone call sets me up for a meeting or photo somewhere. It is therefore difficult to organize social times with family and friends. And as my family and dearest friends are far afield much time often passes before we can get together for a good visit. This holiday, therefore was going to be the one to touch base with as many as possible, while accommodating, if not a solo run with each of my kids, then at least some time. With ambitious plans established for my summer sojourn, I felt it best to begin quietly, to do just a bit of languishing before attacking my full itinerary. An idyll lakeside fit the bill and for three delicious days I schemed to do little but read and bask in the sight and sound of sun and surf. Unfortunately, my four-legged baby, Ani, wasn’t that impressed with her first adventure from home. Her discomfiture and confusion often had us running circles to figure out how to quiet her and keep her amused. On top of that family visited en masse and a birthday celebration added to the mayhem, which, though lovely to be part of, rather disrupted any pretense of soothing stress in solitude. Ultimately, three days flew much too quickly and then it was time to reload the car with suitcases, food and furry friend. A brief stop at home for laundry and it was a day trip with my daughter, a lovely, all too brief interlude. That evening we had friends spend the evening so that we might embark on a one-day excursion, leaving at dawn and returning at midnight. Grateful for brief respite after that marathon, I was on the move just after sunrise a day later for a trip to Barrie to see my sister. This meant shopping, lots of food and drink and little sleep. Upon my return, 1 found my eldest and a friend were home for a visit so a quick shift to hostess mode was in order. The next day was a trip with my youngest to visit my oldest daughter in Kitchener, then it was off to visit friends near Port Colbome, only to come back in time to prepare a family feast on Sunday before my return to the real world. It was exhausting and magical, exhilarating and mind-numbing. Making'memories, seeing new places and revisiting old can be as rejuvenating as a spell at a spa. That said the frenetic pace to squeeze in as much as possible makes so little time seem even more so. Thus next year, I have decided, with few exceptions I’m spending my holiday in my own backyard, holding court for those dear friends and family to come and see me.