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The Citizen, 1997-03-26, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26, 1997 PAGE 5. Arthur Black Tourists important. But, my... they can be dumb Can you believe this weather? We've got winter on the run. The days are getting longer and wanner. The car actually starts in the morning without whining and moaning. You know what this means, don't you? Summer is just around the comer, folks. Summer! That means tourists. May God have mercy on our souls. Just kidding. I know that tourism is a much-needed shot in the arm for the Canadian economy. If this year is anything like the last we'll have some 20 million visitors checking in through the Welcome To Canada turnstiles. And by the time they leave, their wallets will be lighter to the tune of some $5 billion. So no mistake about it - tourists are important. And valued. But my, they can be dumb. I have a theory about tourism. I believe that an actual genetic change occurs when an average citizen sloughs off his everyday identity to become a rubbemecker with a pocketful of travellers' cheques and a Camcorder on his/her shoulder. I'm not sure about all the biological ramifications of this Odds & ends... As you can imagine, I get asked many questions about other countries, many of which can be incorporated into an article sooner or later. Others are of the one-shot variety, but I thought that readers might like to see just what the nature of the questions are. For this reason this article will be more of a potpourri, but I hope that the variety will keep you on the edge of your seats. What countries are cheap for Canadian travellers? That is a common one and the answer varies from year to year. It depends on what currencies are undervalued in terms of the Canadian dollar. Finding out is half the battle since your local bank will normally have no idea whatsoever. I am going to try to do an article later on concerning cheap countries. All I will say at this point is that such countries as Germany are much cheaper than they were a year ago. Is Canada really such a wonderful place in which to live? I get this question since our country tends to be at the top or near the top of any list of countries with high standards of living etc. My answer is that you had better believe it is. Sure we have our problems but, in spite of Mike Harris, Lucien Bouchard and those spin-masters in Ottawa, this country is every bit as great a place to live as the lists say it is. Make a resolution to cut your complaining in half over the next year. Is there any country you haven't been to? Actually, there is, but I forget its name. Honestly, there are a few countries that I have yet to visit and the one I would most \ change, but I'm convinced it involves the loss of at least 20 IQ points. Art Linklettcr wrote a famous book entitled Kids Say the Darnedest Things. Somebody needs to write one called Tourists Say The Dumbest Things. If you don't believe me, drop into your local tourist office, offer to buy the attendant a coffee and ask her what's the dumbest thing she's been asked this week. A worker in the Toronto Tourism office remembers a phone call she fielded that went like this: Caller: "Can we get tickets to a performance of Beauty and the Beast this afternoon?" Attendant: "Yes, you can sir." Caller: "How long is the afternoon performance?" Attendant: "It lasts three hours, sir." Caller: "Whoa, that's 'way too long. How long does the evening show last?" It gets dimmer. The folks who run the Calgary Convention and Visitors' Bureau have been asked everything from "What time do you turn the Northern Lights on?" to: "Is your civil war over yet?" The all-time 'most-stunned' question? Probably one that they get about a tourist site outside of town. Just south of Calgary there is a heritage park called Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump. This is where Indians once hunted buffalo by stampeding them over a cliff. By Raymond Canon like to see is New Zealand. Not only is the scenery wonderful but I want to study the economy for myself. Is there actually a Swiss Language? Ah, you knew I would get around to Switzerland sooner or later. Actually there is not! The country has three official languages, German, French and Italian and a fourth language Romansch, which is considered to be a national one. The closest there is to a Swiss language is Swiss German which is virtually incomprehensible to any German speaker outside of Switzerland. However, we can't consider it as a national language since the French, Italian and Romansch speakers would be highly offended. WTiat countries are really beautiful (besides Switzerland)? Well, there are beautiful spots in many countries but I would rate Norway high on any list while I have already mentioned New Zealand as worth seeing. The Dalmatian coast of what used to be Yugoslavia is very beautiful, especially Dubrovnik, and I hope that it will be open to tourists this summer. Which of the former Russian satellite countries has made the most giant step, politically and economically, to a western­ style democracy? I would have to say the Czech Republic, with Poland second and Hungary third. The lagards are Romania and Bulgaria with Slovakia somewhere in the middle. Albania was never really a Russian satellite but it is a basket case today. Are Canadians really liked in other countries and why? Yes, they are. We generally do not have any political axes to grind, we are less pushy than the Americans and we have a good And two or three times a year, some American tourist in Bermuda shorts and a flowered shirt will approach a park attendant and ask: "What time do you run the buffalo off the cliff?" Not that Americans have anything like a monopoly in the tourist moron department - we Canadians more than hold our own when we go abroad. Ask any Floridian. Canadians are famous in The Sunshine State. They call us Snowbirds. That's because each winter we descend in flocks of thousands to roost in semi-tropical splendour while we wait for Canada to become habitable again. Which explains Florida's favourite bumper sticker. It reads: WHEN I GET OLD, I'M GOING TO MOVE TO CANADA AND DRIVE SLOW Oh those Floridians have got our number. I remember a wise-cracking waitress in a restaurant in Daytona Beach. While I was paying my bill, she said: "You're Canadian, aincha?" I said I was, and asked her how she could tell. She said: "Well I could tell you wasn't a canoe," she said. "A canoe?" I said. "Yup - 'cuz a canoe tips." reputation in peacekeeping duties. I tell any traveller to wear something that will identify you as a Canadian and don't do anything to discredit our country's reputation. You might like to know that it is true that some young Americans do wear Maple Leafs to pass themselves off as Canadians since other people are generally unable to tell the difference between Canadian and American English. Can Orientals understand each other? By this, people usually mean Chinese, Japanese and Koreans. The answer is most definitely no. Not only that but they each write differently so one can tell the difference between written Chinese and Japanese for example. The Japanese tend to be xenophobic; they don't like foreigners, even other Orientals, cluttering up their country or even foreign words entering their language. As they travel more, they are slowly being weaned off that characteristic. Finally, I am sometimes asked if I am related in any way to the family that produces Canon cameras and copiers. But of course! It was my uncle Sukiyaki Canon who got lost when we immigrated to Canada; he ended up in Japan and became filthy rich first by producing cameras and then copiers. I have a Canon camera but they wouldn't give me a discount so I am thinking of disowning them. Next question? A Final Thought When arguing with someone stupid be sure that person is not doing the same. Melt that damn snowfall On some level most parents recognize that part of the recipe for making emotionally healthy children is a blend of self- sufficiency, independence and responsibility. From my earliest recollections, my parents taught me that money was earned and only good work would bring in full pay. My money was my own, to spend how I chose. And the freedom it allowed a young girl, fond of books, music, movies and funky clothes made me want to work hard. Now as a parent, I may not do everything right, but I am committed to this as positive parenting and to this work ethic for my children. I told them from the beginning that if they work hard they will have a future. The money they make will be theirs to spend as they like. And considering they like to spend, it was usually fairly good incentive for a decent job done. For example, working full-time I find the spring cleaning project onerous to say the least. It has, therefore, become paid employment for my youngsters, who then use their wages to purchase, a new summer wardrobe, or part of one. Also, as I then need not respond to their bleatings for cash by forking over something for nothing, it is actually not really costing me that much. The money I give out is re-circulated into my economy — sort of. It seems so simple. Work means pay, pay means spending, spending means business, business means jobs, jobs mean work. Yet, how simple can it be, when our politicians, people with business, law and political science degrees, people who are supposed to understand how to get an economy up and running, just don't seem to be grasping the concept? With talks of amalgamations to municipalities and health care, with down­ sizing and lack of employment opportunities people who never worried before, now live one day to the next. The idea that tomorrow may bring unemployment has people keeping closer tabs on their spending. With demand cautious, supply must follow suit and the snowball continues. The effects are hitting our children, too. Many parents can no longer afford the costs of involving their child in hockey, ball or soccer. With enrollment down, fees increase, with many municipalities noting fewer people using the facilities each year. And the snowball continues. As I was raised to believe, there is a sense of confidence, of making a contribution through work. There is a sense of pride in earning a living and again contributing to society. There is a sense of accomplishment in taking your hard-earned dollars and spending them. At least that was what I was raised to believe. I remember my mother once telling me that when I had my own money I could buy myself what I wanted. What she didn't know was that today, by the time the government takes its share, by the time I try to make sure the rest of my family have what they need, then tuck a bit away for those forecasted stormy tomorrows, there’s nothing left for wants. Even a lowly parent knows people must work. It's time for government to promise and deliver sunshine, melt that damn snowball and get the economy rolling.