The Citizen, 1996-07-03, Page 5International Scene
By Raymond Canon
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 3, 1996 PAGE 5.
What would we do
without lawyers?
A lawyer with a briefcase can steal
more than a thousand men with guns. ,
— Mario Puzo
Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.
— Charles Lamb
Ah, lawyers. What would we do without
them? Now that the Behaviour Police have
decreed it politically incorrect to make light
of ethnic background, sexual proclivities or
religious affiliation, lawyers are about the
only mock-able group around.
That accounts for the proliferation of
lawyer — even books of lawyer jokes —
currently making the rounds. Just about each
and every one of us has been crosschecked
by a lawyer or two in our broken-field
scramble through life. It's an experience that
is invariably as unpleasant as it is expensive.
Then there's O.J.
Hundreds of millions of people around the
world watched a palpably guilty murderer
beat the rap, thanks to a squad of silk-suited,
sleazeball lawyers. Those lawyers had to
know, better than most, that Simpson had
blood on his hands. Didn't matter. They were
Those infernal
credit cards
I sometimes think that credit cards are the
work of the devil. While they are admittedly
attractive under certain circumstances, far
too often they become a temptation which
far too many people are unable to resist.
I recall vividly my first card; it was an
Esso one. It took so long to get that
honestly think that the oil company got the
RCMP to investigate me in order to
determine if I might at any time in the future
use it for nefarious purposes or, horror of
horrors, not pay off the balance.
I must admit that I guarded the card with
somewhat the same care as I did my passport
and, if ever I got a notice from Esso that at
the time of writing the monthly balance had
not been paid, I expected to see somebody at
the door within minutes to cart me off to the
local version of debtors' prison.
I'm sure that most readers are acquainted
with the expression that the way to hell is
paved with good intentions; at any rate it
certainly applies to what has happened to the
use of credit cards since that time. When I
got the Esso card, it was good only in the
U.S. and Canada, now any card worth its salt
can be used all over the world. Furthermore,
far from having to go through a month-long
procedure to get one, it seems at times as if
the cards were being thrown in your
direction. We are constantly being urged to
get one and, once we have it, to use it to get
all the fine things in life which for some
unexplained reason, might have escaped us
so far.
I find that in my travels, both Visa and
Mastercard are usable about 99 per cent of
hired to get him off.
That's what being a criminal lawyer is all
about. They're like hired gunslingers in the
Old West — with one crucial difference: the
gunslingers at least put their own lives on
the line. The members of the O.J. Dream
Team didn't even wrinkle their suits. Yeah,
it's easy to despise lawyers alright ... until
you read about Robert Litchfield. He's a
lawyer in Roseville, California, but not one
of your run-of-the-bar lawyers. Last month
he mailed a letter to all the lawyers in his
county, asking to meet them at the next
County Bar Association get-together. He
wants to wash their feet.
That's right — Robert Litchfield would like
to wash the feet of each and every attorney
in Nevada County, California. It's not a
Christian thing, although Litchfield is
practicing Baptist. He says that symbolic
footwashing existed long before it became a
religious gesture.
So why does he want to do it? Because he
believes lawyers are victims of a kind of
generalized hatred.
"We all know about the crude hate words,
the n-word, the k-word" says Litchfield.
"How many times in your life have you
heard people say the word 'lawyer' with the
same tone as they say the hate words? Why
is this acceptable? I've actually said it myself
the time with Amex being not far behind.
Once in a while in Europe I run into a gas
station hat uses only an European credit card
but those are rarities. But it seems that a new
wave of cards is about to descend upon us.
For most people, the summer Olympic
games at Atlanta will be the site of the
world's best competing against each other.
For the financial world, however, it will be
the place where one of the largest trials so
far of electronic money will take place. If all
goes as hoped, the same system will descend
on the rest of the world.
A- consortium of three American banks
and Visa will give each athlete a "smart
card" which can be used everywhere in the
Olympic area to pay for everything. There
has already been a small start in the city
itself but the time the games are over, much
more of Atlanta will be set up.
The card is fitted with a computer chip and
a memory bank that acts as an "electronic
purse" and which combine the more
traditional credit card use of paying for a
wide range of goods and services throughout
the entire Olympic area. If all this performs
in the way the banks hope, look for it to be
tried on a much wider scale.
Banks are really gung-ho on the variety of
credit cards that they want to offer to
consumers everywhere. In Denmark there
has been co-operation between the banks
and the telephone couwany; it is hoped that
at least half of the country's population will
carry the card, called Danmont, by the turn
of the century.
So attractive is the technology that Visa
rushed in to buy it before it could be used as
competition.
Sometimes the credit cards, in their
struggles to become Number One in an
increasingly competitive market, run into
and I'm one of them. Here's a new class of
people that are so dehumanized, it's time to
start ministering to them."
I think Robert Litchfield may be on to
something. Not the footwashing necessarily
— I don't know what to make of that — I mean
the ministering to lawyers.
After all, it's dead easy to. hate lawyers.
Thinking kindly of them is an infinitely
greater challenge.
It reminds me of something Canadian
writer Douglas Coupland said in an
interview recently. He said "It really scares
me how few outlets and how few
opportunities we have in everyday life to be
kind. I think our systems — political and
theological and economic — all work
together now-to make a world that's not too
conducive to kindness."
Coupland remembered standing at a
counter lineup at Chicago's O'hare airport,
trying to buy a pizza slice, but finding only
Canadian money in his pocket. A woman — a
perfect stranger — handed him a couple of
bucks U.S. He considers her an angel.
"Wouldn't it be great if we could go through
every day of our lives exercising that same
sort of kindness? Wouldn't that be heaven?"
And the lawyer shall lie down with the
lamb.
Hmm If not heaven, close enough.
pronounced setbacks. Visa is a case in point;
it has been attempting to prevent its member
banks from working with smaller groups,
such as American Express. The latter has
suffered a few reverses of late, seeing its
share of the global market fall from 13.45
per cent to 10.4 per cent. It decided to bring
its costs in line and to expand in the
European market which is not as saturated as
the one in North America. It was there it ran
into Visa and, when the dust had settled, the
European Economic Community had ruled
against Visa, even though the same Visa
ploy was legal in the U.S. and was a roaring
success. Since Visa.has about 50 per cent of
the world market share, look for it to throw
its weight around in other areas.
With all the changes taking place, look
carefully before you take out a new credit
card or even renew an old one.
Letters
Continued from page 4
Student Employment Centre sold portions of
a giant submarine sandwich generously
donated.
The event helped promote the area's
unemployed students in an effort to increase
public awareness and encourage the
community to hire a student. The proceeds
from the barbecue have been donated to the
Big Brothers Association of Listowel which
was established in the community a little
over a year ago. Big Brothers is a non-profit
organization designed to provide young boys
and girls with positive adult role models.
The Association is in need of men to act as
Big Brothers for the many boys on the
waiting list. Women are also encouraged to
sign up to act as Big Brothers for the many
boys on the waiting list. Women are also
encouraged to sign up to act as Big Sisters.
Leanne Hoyles
Student Employment Officer.
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
I'm sure I'll pay dearly
Are we going to-make the newspaper?
You bet! One of the more interesting, also
annoying, aspects of this job is that no one
lets you forget witat you do for a living —
even on weekends, even away from home.
"Watch what you say. It could be in The
Citizen this week." or "Are you going to
write a story on that, Bonnie? Maybe you
could put it in your column."
This past Sunday, my warrior and I took
our kids to the beach to visit some of his
family. In a brilliant move, a sister and
brother-in-law from B.C., decided to rent a
cottage in our part of the country, so that
their relatives could come to them, rather
than them keeping up an exhaustive
schedule of back and forth visiting.
Now most of my in-laws are a boisterous
bunch who work hard and play hard. If you
were to paint their portrait, one would think
of brilliant colours which occasionally clash,
but are never subdued.
There was only a small representation of
them on hand this particular day, but to those
more accustomed to less frolicksome folk
these larger than life individuals fill every
room. To the more reticent, they can be a
slightly intimidating lot, most notably our
B.C. host, a colourful character whose crude
humour and teasing taunts colour the cheeks
of the more inhibited among us. Do not
blush; you will be easy prey.
There is no challenge he is afraid to take,
and the novices have often made the mistake
of daring him. If you can't laugh at your
mistakes, you better not make them because
if Bob and this crew hear about it, so will
you — for the rest of your life.
Now, that I have painted a rather unrefined
family portrait to this point, I will finish it
with a softer brush, smoothing the abrasive
edges and blending the bolder shades with
subtle tones. What I have come to
understand in the time that I have known
these people is that once they know you, you
are family. No outsider would be permitted
to hurt you or treat you with disrespect. They
are loyal, fair and would lay down their life
for each other.
I have learned there is always enough
room and enough food at the dinner table.
There is no such thing as an uninvited guest.
They are generous to a fault, committed to
family and have an almost zealous love of
people.
While, as a parent, I may find myself
flinching at some of their ribald antics, my
in-laws have shown my children the
importance and strength of family. If my
kids could learn to be as accepting of each
others' faults I would be a happy mom.
For the next little while, we will be
spending a good deal of time with this side
of the family. Sitting in a corner observing,
looking beyond the off-colourings in the
portrait to the beautiful subtleties is always
an eye-opener. While this inhibited soul
finds herself often completely worn out after
these visits, it is also reassuring to be
surrounded by such unconditional love. It's
an experience everyone should have.
So, Bob, though I know it wasn't exactly a
dare, when you teased me about putting this
family in the newspaper it suddenly seemed
like a good idea — one for which I'm sure
I'll pay dearly.
Arthur Black