The Citizen, 2019-06-13, Page 13THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JUNE 13, 2019. PAGE 13.
Sawchuk finds new passion through dancing
Continued from page 12
(I wish I could remember this when I
need it most.)
PUTTING IT ON THE SHELF
Finding ways to get out of the
darkness is different for everyone.
Writing helps me. Together, Theo
and I are learning to share more of
these dark times with each other.
We’ve both had them. We take them
out, talk about them and put them on
the shelf. I have actually started
saying that: “I’m putting this on the
shelf” which helps get it out of my
mind. Then, as I heave my body into
bed, I say to Theo, “Tomorrow will
be a better day, right?” He always
says yes, and he’s (almost) always
right.
GOOD GRIEF
I’m still grieving the life I thought
I would have. I don’t know if I ever
will stop. How is it possible for grief
to be good? Grief is this crazy roller
coaster that at times you may not
even realize you are on. I’ve had
people tell me that grief is a cycle of
stages that you go through. I am sure
this may be true for some as they
deal with a loss, but for me it has
been all over the map. I think this is
because I have a constant (24/7)
reminder of my loss. My body
travels with me wherever I go, all of
it. That reminder is also there for
those that are closest to me and knew
me well before all this happened. Of
course, I am talking about my
family. Three years later we are still
reminded of what was, and what is
now, and the difference between
them.
One of the things I have learned to
do postinjury is dance. My instructor
and dance partner Les had not
danced with someone who uses a
wheelchair, so we learned together.
We have since competed in a
“Dancing with the Stars” event for
Victim Services Huron County and
taken part in other community
events to showcase wheelchair
dance. Over the past year as we have
learned, practised and prepared, I
had only shared short snippets with
Theo, so he had little knowledge of
what my wheelchair dance would be
like. It turned out to be an emotional
occasion for many and became the
starting point of an important
conversation between the two of us.
I wrote about it a few weeks later
and our daughter Ella produced this
piece of art.
MUSIC+MOVEMENT=
DANCE: OCTOBER 30, 2018
I knew that there was a reason why
I had not written about Saturday
night yet -- I was waiting for closure
(and to recover). Victim Services
Huron County held their 10th
Dancing with the Stars dinner and
auction fundraiser -- and it was
amazing. Words are actually hard
for me to find, believe it or not, to
describe the night. I guess that is
partly because it was more than just
a night; it was a whole year of
learning, rehearsing and polishing
something that was completely new
for both Les and me.
When we first started talking
about the idea of trying wheelchair
dance and competing at DWTS
Huron, it was as though we were
challenging each other and our own
selves. Les had never danced with
someone who uses a chair and I had
never danced in a chair. I think we
knew we were going to have fun, but,
speaking for myself, I didn’t know
how much I would enjoy it. Fun
seems like such a trite word to
explain it -- but that was the word
that I used most on Saturday night.
Dance was fun because it was
new, but also because it was a
workout, it involved music (which
automatically picks you up) and it
became a part of my regular weekly
routine. We started dancing one
hour per week, then twice, then by
September we were spending two
hours twice a week working on the
final “look” of our dances (of
course including some time for
coffee).
I have stronger core muscles now
than I did a year ago. Go ahead --
try and push me over. As my friend
Melissa said to me today, “You were
defying gravity!” Dance has also
helped me improve my posture. I
have a new, lower, backrest adjusted
to be more forward, and I sit
straighter than ever.
Closure came fully to me this
morning. First, I received this
picture from Theo’s Dad. I had been
hoping that someone would have
captured us, dressed up and happy.
Then today we talked about how
Theo was feeling. He has been
reluctant (avoiding situations that
would lead to me asking) to dance
with me on wheels. I had been
learning and wanted him to try too,
but I got nowhere. Now I know why -
- he was grieving, but neither of us
realized it.
Two-step and waltz were our
default dances. Ages ago, before we
were married, we took dance lessons
as to not make fools of ourselves in
front of our guests at our wedding.
We had always had a good time on
the dance floor, and I suspect that we
both regret not getting out and doing
it more often. Now we will not be
able to do that two-step or waltz the
way we did before. For Theo, I think
this realization came on Saturday
night.
Grief comes when you least expect
it, and in ways that make it hard to
understand your feelings. Now that
we have talked about it, hopefully we
will be able to find a
way forward, together.
If I wasn’t ‘Huron County’ famous
before, I am now. I left my house
once on Monday, for a short meeting
in town, and ran right into people I
had never met before. They had been
to DWTS on Saturday night. When
they saw me, they said, “Are you
Julie, who dances?” I am indeed. If
you heard what the judges said:
“You do dance”.
See next week’s issue of The
Citizen for the conclusion.
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