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The Citizen, 1992-02-26, Page 5£3 Arthur Black THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 26,1992. PAGE 5. TheShort Telling it like it was in the old days The guy in the coffee shop was singing a familiar tune. “Lookit this Jeffrey Dahmer creep” he growled, pointing a crescent moon of chocolate glazed donut at the front page of the tabloid rag on the counter. “Kills people. Eats them. Paints their skulls. Ah, I tell ya.” He went on to grouse about other human horrors of our time. Wayne Gacey. Charlie Manson. The KGB/CIA/IRA/PLO. “I'm tellin ya, I don't know what the world is cornin' to” he sermonized to no one in particular. And then, the kicker: “Sure wasn't like that in the old days.” He was a big guy, this coffee shop orator. He had one of those wallets on a stainless steel chain attached to his belt, and he cradled his coffee mug in a big meaty mitt that looked like it might bounce off, oh say, the jaw of a smart alec and be little the worse for the adventure. Otherwise, I’m sure I would have said something. Something like “Horsefeathers”. I get a little impatient with folks who try to sell the notion hat, depravity-wise, Things Have Never Been So Bad. The truth is, wickedness has always had a deluxe suite at the Hotel Homo Sapiens. International Scene Recessions are followed by common sense BY RAYMOND CANON If I were to charge for every economic analysis that I have given over the years, I would be hobnobbing with the likes of Donald Trump. However, since he and his kind of people are not exactly my cup of tea, perhaps it is just as well that I have not charged. At any rate, there is nothing like a recession to bring out the curiosity in people; it has therefore come to pass that I have been bombarded with questions. For the price of this newspaper, you will get the ultimate truth, not to mention infinite wisdom that I have been handing out to all and sundry, whether they have been sitting in rapt attention in one of my Economics classes or whether they are friends and relatives plus any other hangers-on. For openers I am tired of hearing that this recession has been made solely in Canada; it most assuredly has not. We have had some input but then we usually do. Any country with an economy as open as ours has to put up with international fluctuations and we should not forget for one minute that the United States, far and away our best customer (7/10ths or more of our exports) has not exactly been enjoying good times. They are as bad off as we are, and with a government that is less prepared to come to grips with the situation than ours. That statement alone should make some people sit up and take notice. The current American disease is running too high a deficit in its fiscal policy (i.e. govt, spending compared with taxes) as well We've had our share of saints, holy folk and just plain good people over the years, but that same history is pockmarked with ogres and tyrants, murderers and scalliwags. We’ve got more nosey reporters around these days, that's all. But perhaps you think I'm all wet. Maybe you're convinced that our parents — or at least our parents' parents -- lived in an altogether more innocent time, when people really were the kinder, gentler folk George Bush keeps prattling about. In that case, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Mister Alferd E. Packer. Yes, “Alferd”. Spelling is but one of many of society's secrets Mister Packer failed to unravel in his unhappy meander through Life. Unused to reading or writing, Mister Packer seldom signed his name, but when he did, he spelled it ‘Alferd’. He led an undistinguished life, did Mister Packer, performing odd jobs that blew him like so much sagebrush back and forth across the American southwest. In the winter of 1874, Fate found Alferd and five companions slogging through a remote valley in the San Juan mountains not far from Lake City, in Hindsdale County, Colorado. The six men were adventurers, westward bound, looking for the proverbial pot of gold. It was a rough winter with lots of cold and snow. Indians went hungry and whole herds By Raymond Canon as consumers who have been borrowing as if there were no tomorrow. The Americans spent most of the 1980's enjoying the peak of the business cycle and somehow got it into their heads that it would never end. That sounds remarkably like the thinking in the 1920's just before the great stock market crash of 1929. If all this looks vaguely familiar to what is happening here, you are right. The similarity is astounding but it shouldn't be since we are influenced to a considerable degree by what the Americans do or what they choose not to do. Nor is there prosperity elsewhere in the industrialized world. Sweden is something of a basket case right now, Australia has just replaced its prime minister for failing to come to grips with a stagnant economy, and Germany is facing a rising rate of inflation not to mention the much higher than expected costs in absorbing the former East Germany. The swiss, normally a model of economic rectitude, have inflation of about six per cent and a stagnant economy while the British are wondering just when they are going to see really good growth figures to signify that they have at last come out of their recession. Another problem that is affecting the industrialized world, including Canada, is the internationalization of big business. In a rapidly changing world it is no longer advisable to sit at home and expect customers to beat a path to your door; in order to be competitive you haye to close or shift plants, and size is no advantage. Just witness what has happened recently to General Motors, still the largest car producer in the world but somewhat backward in making the necessary adjustments. Far too often Canadians seem to feel that they are living in a protected world where the effects of these adjustments will not be felt by them. of cattle froze on the hoof. Nobody much expected to see the six men come spring. And mostly, they were right -- five of them never showed up. Just Alferd Packer. A ... remarkably well-fed Alferd Packer, for a man who'd supposedly spent the winter starving in the mountains. After the spring thaw, horrified investigators found Alferd's last camp site. There, they discovered the dismembered remains of Alferd's erstwhile companions. They had been murdered with an axe. And they had been eaten. Alferd denied responsibility. Then he confessed to killing one of them in self­ defense. Finally he owned up to the whole shebang: multiple murders plus gastronomy above and beyond the boundaries of the Cordon Bleu Cookbook. It wasn't a pretty case, but I'd have risked upchucking my lunch to have been in that courtroom when District Judge Melville B. Gerry pronounced sentence on the hapless Packer. Legend has it that the Judge said this: “Stand up, you man-eaten' sonofabitch. Stand up”. Then, the judge thundered: “There was seven Dimmicrats in Hindsdale County and you ‘et five of ‘em, damn you. I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until you're dead, dead, dead, as a warning against reducin’ the Democratic population of the state.” That's how the legend goes. If it isn't true, it ought to be. So, too, are the Americans and it is becoming obvious what is happening to both countries. If the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade negotiations on the vexing agricultural problem can be brought to a successful conclusion, prices for Canadian grain will almost certainly increase; until that happens our agriculture sector will remain in the doldrums. The same holds true for other countries; in short, there is scarcely a sector that is not affected in some way by the current economic downturn. How Canada reacts to these world problems is, to say the least, the key to our continued prosperity as a nation. We might well take a page from what the Americans are learning from the excesses of the 1980's. The first is to be a more frugal approach to consumer spending, the lack of which contributed greatly to their downturn when it caught up with them. The second is for businesses to become more competitive both at home and abroad. This means, among other things, that workers become better trained, more flexible in changing jobs or even professions. Finally, there is still the necessity to put aside something for the proverbial rainy day. Strangely enough I recall hearing a lot of this in my youth when we were coming out of the Great Depression and World War II. Isn't it strange that so often we have to go back to relearn the lessons of the past? Letter to the editor policy Leiters to the editor must be signed and the name must also be clearly printed and the tele­ phone number and address included. While letters may be printed under a pseudonym, we must be able to verify the identity of the writer. In addition, although the identity of the writer may be withheld in print, it may be revealed to parties directly involved on personal appearance at The Citizen's offices. of it By Bonnie Gropp A kiss is but a kiss The British tabloids are screaming- Prince Charles didn't kiss his wife the way he should have when she presented him with a trophy after his team won a polo match in India recently. Give me a break! In the first place who really cares? Secondly, the royal peck was good enough for the Indian people- it almost caused a riot. Let's face it, in Charlie's case, his smacker would quite likely have been unfavourably critiqued regardless of the level of affection it displayed. I almost have sympathy for a person, albeit a rich royal, who is openly scrutinized even when kissing his spouse. The Brits are known for their reserve and I would assume, not particularly comfortable with public displays of affection, especially when you know every move you make is open for comment. Certainly, when romantics have labeled a couple as fairy tale prince and princess, they will become the object of unwanted attention, but a front page blowout analyzing a smooch, complete with before and after pictures and a banner headline? The Star asked "Why Can't They Kiss The Way They Used To?" Show me a couple married 12 years who does! If I were Prince Charlie, I'd be inclined to tell the press to "kiss off. The problem, it seems, actually began earlier than the ill-fated pucker, when Charles got off on the wrong foot by not accompanying his wife to the Taj Mahal, the Indian monument to a man's love for his wife, thus making them fair game for all those who should use their time to better pursuits, such as getting a life. So the romance is over. So Charles doesn't love his wife. Not a terrific example from a future King, but certainly one shared by many fallable human beings. Frankly, I can't help feeling that we dwell just a little too much on the present and past indiscretions and transgression of our public figures. For example, look at the recent situation of Will Ferguson, Kitchener MPP, who had to resign as Minister of Energy in order to clear his name, after a woman said he had a relationship with her 19 years ago when he was an employee of Grandview School for Girls. He also allegedly helped the woman, who was in Grandview for stealing, escape. At the time Ferguson was 19. Since then, he has become a happily married man and a respected politician. But who can care about the present, when there's a skeleton rattling in someone's closet, especially if there's a hint of a sex scandal hiding with it? Whatever happened to the concept of only being able to cast stones, if you are free of sin yourself? Heaven forbid, someone should go digging for bones at my house. As a teenager in the 60's I admit to some mistakes in my past, not unlike many others who, as young people, made their fair share of mistakes while growing up. (All within the boundaries of morality and the law, just not those of common sense, I hasten to add). But, that is usually the end result - we grow up, thank goodness. The colourful details of my past, right or wrong, have helped to shape the person I have become, and most of the time I rather like her. Certainly, if Mr. Ferguson did help a criminal escape he has to answer for it. But, is it really a reflection of who he is today? It's not like he's made a habit of it! Yet, one of his constituents, who admitted he has served the area well, said if the charges are true she would certainly have to reconsider her opinion of Mr. Ferguson as a politician. Definitely not your forgiving kind. As for Charles and Di, if she can turn the other cheek so can I.