The Citizen, 1991-06-12, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 12, 1991. PAGE 5.
Zeroes bring
~eal truth
in advertising
advertising is legalized lying
H. G Wells
t's the greatest art form of the 20th century.
Marshall McLuhan
there's a sucker born every minute.
P.T. Bar num
Well, perhaps the truth about advertising
lies somewhere in amongst the
Wellsian/McLuhanesque/Barnumite
extremes. There have been one or two recent
guerrilla attacks upon the sleek flanks of the
advertising business that neither H. G. nor
Marshall nor even cynical old P.T. could
ever have anticipated.
The first fire fight occurred in London,
England last month at the annual Ratners
convention. Ratners is the largest and most
successful retail jewelry chain in Great
Britain.
It was especially embarrassing, then, to
have some malcontent seize the microphone
at the convention and proclaim that the
reason Ratners was so successful was that
the company sold "total crap".
"The secret of Ratner's success" hooted the
troublemaker, "is bad taste and poor
Is God A Cosmic
Bellhop?
BY RAYMOND CANON
One of the more distasteful aspects of
the war recently concluded in the Middle
East is that both sides rushed to invoke the
support of God on their side.
We had George Bush on one side
making liberal use of God's name to
legitimize the cause of the Alliance forces
while in Iraq Saddam Hussein was just as
vociferous in assuring his people that Allah
would see to it that the Iraqi forces came
out victorious in any conflict. For any
readers whose understanding of the
Muslim religion could stand a refresher
course, their God and ours is one and the
same deity; Allah is just the word that they
use to refer to Him, much the same as we
frequent make use of Jehovah.
The ironic thing about Saddam is that,
until he got the idea that it might not do
any harm to enlist the help of Allah, he was
what you might call a non-practicing
Muslim. George Bush has at least been a
church-going Christian, whatever that
might mean in this humanistic age.
If my memory serves me right, this is
somewhat the same approach that was used
in previous wars. Feeling perhaps that it
would not do any harm to have God on our
side and, since we are the "good guys", we
do not hesitate to petition God to support
us in this or that just war and, if we turn
out to be on the winning side, there are
undoubtedly some who are prepared to
give God part of the credit.
Early on in my career on this planet, I
ran into something that was for me a very
unique situation. I was visiting some
distant relatives in Germany after World
War II and, as luck would have it, Sunday
fell on Nov. 11 and we all trooped off to
the local Lutheran church. After the
service, my aunt commented that it was
fine if you happened to be on the winning
side, you could say that God was with you
and that, if you lost any friends or relatives,
you could rationalize it all by saying that
quality."
Bad enough to have some radical outsider
disrupt convention proceedings in such a
rude manner. How much worse when the
'radical outsider' turns out to be Gerald
Ratner, chief executive officer of the
company in question.
The other Ratner executives scrambled to
provide emergency damage control. Mister
Ratner, they insisted was just making a little
joke. Mister Ratner, they hinted, had perhaps
lingered over-long around the after-dinner
port decanter.
But I'm not buying it. I think Mister
Ratner has been stricken by a virus hitherto
virtually unknown in the advertising world.
An insidious little beggar called truth.
There is no known cure.
And who knows where it will lead? If
"truth in advertising" becomes a plague,
what comes next? Balloon-Gut Beer?
Cholesterol City Fast Food Joints? Ozone
Smasher Hair Spray?
Before you laugh, stroll into any Los
Angeles smoke shop and check out the
cigarette brands. Somewhere up there on the
shelf, snuggled in amongst the Pall Malls
and the Lucky Strikes, you should be able to
find a brand new brand.
It comes in a pure black package with a
skull and crossbones on the front.
And it's called simply "Death".
they had died for a just cause. What did
you say if you were a devout Christian on
the losing side, as my aunt was, who saw
both friends and relatives go off to war
never to return. What was your attitude to
God then? I must admit that I had no
answer.
Since that time I have developed what I
call the cosmic Bellhop concept of God. If
life goes along without too many negative
aspects, we tend to take our belief in God
pretty much for granted. Let something bad
happen or let us want to achieve or obtain
something, we suddenly start direct-dialing
God and asking Him to bring us what we
want. When we don't get precisely what we
desire from Him, by a strange sort of logic
we jump to the conclusion that He does not
exist or, what is just as bad, He does not
care. Small wonder that, with that kind of
logic, many people dismiss a belief in a
superior being as meaningless and nod in
agreement wherever reference is made to
Karl Marx's oft repealed comment that
religion is the opiate of the people.
It doesn't help that we have some of
these televangelists resorting to what can
only be described as gross hypocrisy in
order to raise money. The most egregious
case is that of Oral Roberts who, taking fashion.
Helping kids
THE EDITOR,
Once again we are planning our summer
camp program for Huron County children.
Last summer, five year old Beth saw the
lake for the very first lime. She had never
been to the beach before and thanks to
generous donors such as yourselves, we
were able to provide her with that marvelous
experience.
We are to receive $6,600 from the federal
government which will subsidize the salaries
of three students. Our Children's Benefit
Fund, however, needs to have money to
provide for the camp fees and activities for
children.
In 1990 we sent 138 children to church
The fine print on the cigarette package
isn't any more comforting. Where most
cigarette packages talk about their wonderful
filter system or the purity of their Virginia
leaf, the Death Cigarette package says:
"Cigarettes are addictive and deadly". Where
most cigarette packages carry wimpy
government advisories hinting at some
possible, distant connection between
smoking and ill health, the Death Cigarette
warning says: IF YOU DON'T SMOKE,
DON'T START. IF YOU SMOKE, QUIT.
A fellow by the name of Charles
Southwood is behind Death Tobacco Inc.
Southwood says he's umm, dead against
smoking and he hopes his tell-il-like-it-is
Death Cigarettes will persuade smokers to
give up their gaspers once and for all.
In the meantime, Charles Southwood, like
any forward-looking entrepreneur is ...
hedging his bets somewhat.
He's already got his lawyers working on
the application for a trademark on the name
Green Death — a menthol variation on his
current brand. He also says he hopes to "go
national", appealing to the younger set that
he says scoffs at the idea of mortality and
thinks Death Cigarettes are a joke.
Some joke. In the first two weeks,
Southwood sold 25,000 packs of Death —
without a word of advertising.
I don't understand it — but I'm sure P.T.
Barnum would.
advantage of the current recession both
here and in the United States, has been
sending letters out to exploit people's fear
over financial hardship or ruin. He has, he
says, "A miraculous answer direct from the
throne of God to your home." The answer,
naturally, comes to you from God through
his spokesman, Oral Roberts, who then
invites you to send, regardless of what you
owe elsewhere, all that you can scrape up.
"You will," Roberts assures us, "start
receiving your miracle harvest to get out of
debt very quickly." Perhaps Ottawa should
send him $100 and inform him or our
national debt of about $400 billion.
Frankly, between non-believers and
hypocrits, God must have a good laugh at
the things being done in his name and at
the manner in which he is so routinely
dismissed for non-performance.
I do not claim to have a monopoly on the
understanding of the proclivities of God. I
have, fortunately, met sincere Christians all
over the world who were not making
grandious demands on God nor dismissing
him when things went wrong. It is these
people who, I believe, are far closer to the
true meaning of God in our universe than
those who treat him in such a cavalier
camps lor one week. Ihe average cost of this
was $126, including transportation and
necessary extras. As well, we provided a
weekly outing for a selected group of
children who were experiencing difficulties
with behaviour, school, or home. The total
cost of the summer program last year was
almost $25,000. It is therefore necessary for
us to raise approximately $18,400 for the
children's camps and activities.
We would appreciate your contribution to
this enriching summer experience for Huron
County children. A tax deductible receipt
will be provided. If you have any questions,
please call our office and we will be happy
to discuss the program with you. Thank you
for your continued support.
Thomas F. Knight
Executive Director
Children’s Aid Society of Huron County
Letter
from the
editor
Controlling the
information
agenda
They tell us we're in the information
age and if so, the country that can control the
flow of information is the country that will
hold the most power in the world. It's
unclear whether Canadians have grasped that
fact yet but U.S. policies show the
Americans have.
For all its military might, its Star Wars
technology, its tanks, battle ships and
"smart" bombs, U.S. domination of the
world really comes from one small band of
warriors who most people wouldn't sec as
any threat at all.
Keys to American power in the world
come as much from the people who make
the movies and the television shows and the
magazines as from any general in his desert
fatigues. American popular culture
dominates the world, whether in Canada
next door, (the country with more foreign
culture than any other country in the world)
or in some remote African village where the
only television set broadcasts reruns of
Dallas.
Americans win audiences for their
culture in two ways. First, it's fun.
Americans turn out more entertaining
television and movies than the rest of the
world combined. This is supported by a
whole sub-industry of magazines, radio and
TV shows devoted to glamorizing the stars
and making it even more fun to watch them
on the screen.
Secondly, American TV, movies and
magazines can dominate by what, in any
other industry would be called "dumping" or
selling at far less than the cost of production
at home. An American television show that
costs $2 million an hour to produce may be
sold to a Canadian station for a few
thousand, to a little African nation for maybe
a few hundred dollars. The reason is that the
American market is so huge and so nch that
the costs for that show arc already met at
home and anything brought from foreign
sales is pure profits. Meanwhile those
foreign countries, whether in Canada or
Africa, must try to compete for viewers with
the slick American programs while trying to
produce shows that cost far less...and yet
still cost more than the American import.
Countries that try to have a private enterprise
cultural system can forget about having any
local content.
And the Americans want to make sure
they keep it that way. A recent documentary
on the subject told of U.S. government
pressure that came down on one country
when it tried to impose a quota saying 20 per
cent of television shows had to be made in
that country. Through the Free Trade
Agreement, and now with the three-way
trade talks with Mexico, the U.S. has made it
known it thinks Canadian cultural policies
are nothing more than a barrier to trade.
But cultural industries are not ordinary
industries as the U.S. well knows. If we were
talking about anything else, whether shoes or
wine, it wouldn't be so important for the
U.S. to win, or for other countries to resist.
But culture is the trojan horse of the
American economic empire. When people in
some foreign coumry watch Dallas or Pretty
Woman, they get an look at a glamorous
lifestyle beyond their humble dreams and
they want it! They want their country to be
like that, or they want to move to the U.S.
or, at the very least, they want to buy the
Continued on Page 19.