The Rural Voice, 1988-04, Page 14MUCE E N
BACK
FE6TIVAL
A month-long series of 12
concerts celebrating music
— on weekends in April, in
Durham, Hanover and
Ayton.
Performers include:
The Saugeen Bach Choir,
Pianist Anton Kuerti, along
with many others.
For information or
a brochure call:
519-369-5316
Hydraulic Cylinder
& Jack Repair
Service
• Oxygen & Acetylene Gases
• Welding Equipment &
Supplies
• Tools & Power Equipment
— for the woodworking or
machinery repair shop
Imperial Eastman
Hydraulic Hose and Coupling
Centre
Fast Reliable Service
GLOBAL TOOLS
EQUIPMENT
Listowel
519-291-2280
an Ideal Supply company
12 THE RURAL VOICE
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON
- PASSENGER BEWARE
"Aw, come on, Super Wrench," I
wailed, "fair is fair. This is the third
time for me, and you've never had
your shot at it."
"I did all the necessary ground-
work," he replied, "I guarantee you
there's no shortage of knowledge or
experience here — just a little practice
on a different set of rubber."
My mother had always warned me
to beware of good-looking guys offer-
ing to take me for a ride. I hadn't paid
much attention, or I wouldn't be in the
position I am now. The good-looking
guy with the wide grin and car keys
dangling from his fingers is not some
masher wanting to give an older
woman a thrill. It's my son, wanting
to hurry up the aging process in his
mother. He's got his permit, and I'm
to provide the legal body that has to be
present in the car with him.
As I got into the car, I consoled
myself with the fact that this young
man had learned to read from the
controls of a tractor, and there was
nothing with rubber on it he hadn't
driven. Except the car.
He had more confidence than the
only rooster in a full henhouse and
instructed me to fasten the seat belt.
He then proceeded to back out of the
carport. He did it machinery style,
likely thinking the auger was going to
catch on something. He swung his
long arm around to look behind, and
caught me on the backswing across
the side of the head. I felt as if I'd
been dropped into a church belfry with
all the gongs activated.
"Sorry about that, Mom," he
muttered. "Sure isn't much room to
move around in here."
"That's all right," I replied, check-
ing my jaw to see if all the molars
were still in place. "Just take it easy."
He stopped at the end of the lane to
adjust the mirrors, tune into a radio
station that increased the ringing in
my ears, and comb his hair.
His turn onto the road was some-
what sharp. "Put both hands on the
wheel when you're operating a car," I
instructed. He was used to steering
with one hand while constantly shift-
ing something on the floor or dash-
board. Down the road, one hand
dropped off the steering wheel again.
"What are you going to do with the
other arm?" I asked.
"Put it around my girlfriend."
My eyes rolled heavenward. The
next thrill was passing a vehicle. I
wasn't prepared for this move; my
daughters had taken weeks of driving
to get enough nerve to try it.
There were several flaws in the
exercise. He pulled into the other lane
when the car ahead was still a quarter
mile ahead, and there was a hill with a
solid yellow line moving up fast. We
made it safely — but for the pant -
wetting on my part, laced with shrieks.
"Take a downer, Mom," he
informed me coolly. "You're not a
very restful person to take a drive
with, you know."
"Slow down well ahead of a STOP
sign," I told him. He thought I meant
three feet from it and came to an
abrupt halt. My head swung towards
the dash and whipped back. "You'll
never get your licence if you do that to
the examiner," I ground out.
"You've got to check the brakes to
see how they'll react if you really need
them," he told me. "These are in
pretty good shape for an old clunker."
Super Wrench was all smiles as we
finally pulled into the yard. "How'd it
go, son?" he asked.
"Pretty good. Mom here needs a
bit more training as a passenger. She
sure bothers the driver, and in Driver's
Ed they say never molest the driver."
"See," Super Wrench told me,
throwing his arm over the shoulder of
his son, "I told you I've taught him
everything he needs to know."0
Gisele Ireland, from Bruce County, began
her series of humorous columns with The
Rural Voice. Her most recent book, Brace
Yourself, is available for $7 from Bumps
Books, Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0.