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Townsman, 1991-02, Page 14C© To be unstuck in winter BY SANDRA ORR When you think of snow and ice, you wonder how to cope with it or how to escape it. You worry what the weather will be, whether it is worse than yesterday. Coping with snow takes careful consideration. Getting stuck in the middle of a lane that seems to go on forever is no one's idea of bliss, particularly when you don't know how to operate the tractor in a competent fashion or when the irate person who can operate it does not want to be disturbed for the next few hours. Since 1 dread getting stuck, 1 plan myself accordingly. For example, I park my car with the back end against a building so that the snowplough doesn't close it in behind and so that 1 don't turn too wide and get stuck in a soft shoulder. Keeping out of someone else's lane helps. 1 have found that if you cannot navigate a person's lane. it is generally a cause of merriment. Some people never seem to be concerned if their hill is icy. "Watch for the shed." they offer advice before 1 leave. "The lane is icy." "Sure," 1 say. Apprehension never did anything before for my driving skills so that I am the second visitor of the day to go down the lane sideways. Only the miracle of a snowbank saved me from the shed. can see him through the window turning his head politely when he chuckles at me driving. "Why isn't your lane straight?" is a question that 1 might ask, if 1 wanted to walk back up that icy hill and knock again at the door. A lonely tire track that has been drifted over in a long lane is greeted with consternation by me and apathy by its owner. If you are wise you will leave your car on the ploughed road and if you really want to see those people you will walk in. Since 1 never relished the thought of trying to start a reluctant motor in the early morning after work, 1 installed a truck -sized battery in my car, not wanting to spend too many nights camped on top of a table wearing my coat and hat and boots with only a bartender and the contents of a bar for company. "Why are you in the ditch?" "Why are you spinning your tires on the ice?" are questions that 1 might be asked, the interrogator forgetting that you could ask him why he tried to drive through a sequence of drifts reaching clear across the road, or why he backed into the snowbank or why he hasn't plugged the tractor heater in even though it has been below zero and snowing for days. If I turn an unscheduled about- face on an icy road and end up facing south, I might as well keep going until I can go no farther, which to some people means the southernmost tip of Florida. One year I came back from a trip south to find my place filled in with snow up the eaves, costing $200 to get the lot cleared off, and that was just the back and the sides. I've reasoned ever since that it was much cheaper to put my feet up for the winter and let the sun melt the snow at some point in April at not cost at all. Some might think in February that spring never comes, but so far in our recorded memory, spring has never failed to come. This year could be different. 1 know people who view driving through a drift with the same relish they would view a trip to climb a mountain, as an obstacle to be surmounted. They'll back the car up and take a run at it and end up stuck in the middle, then curse as they remove their shovel and their bag of sand from the trunk. My job would be to push the car forward if it was going forward or to get out of the road if it was going to back up, never quite knowing which it was going to be, keeping my mouth shut in any case and trying not to be grist for the spinning wheels. I have been in the position of helping people who thought their car was powerful enough to drive through a drift but found out otherwise. I have helped them rock it while it was in gear and the both 12 TOWNSMAN/FEBRUARY-MARCH 1991 of us were pushing. Why did I participate in this dangerous esca- pade? I guess I didn't want to spend the night by the side of the road. For this you need a sleeping bag, candles, a pint or two, socks, and a companion who doesn't argue. I know people who, when tired of the laneway, try the field instead and when mired to the axel in the mud they thought it was frozen, call in the grader or a bigger, better tractor. What happens when the bigger, better equipment gets stuck in the mud is a modern engineering feat people like to keep to them- selves - because it is embarrassing to call in another grader. I know people who resort to snowmobiles for transportation and after starting them up drive into the side of my house, then forget where the lane is and drive through the hedge, leaving a great gap that takes six years to grow in. People drive snowmobiles for fun and, stuck in a spot yesterday, try it again today. Maybe it looked firmer this time, but they had to call for the tractor and chains when lifting wouldn't do it. What will happen tomorrow is anybody's guess. I have watched helplessly as the car in front turned in circles. A tractor -trailer was in the median and another was on its side. Some poor policeman who could not stand upright was waving his warms at the circling motorist and the traffic was zipping by on the inside lane, oblivious to the icy road that had not seen sand or salt. Scenes like this make you grow old in minutes. I drive much more slowly than I used to, assuming of course that 1 have been able to get out the lane. Why leave home if it has been snowing? Why are you driving when you see others in the ditch? Why? Because we are heading south, they say. Get out of the way. The best place for me is beside the fire, nursing my drink, consider- ing whether or not to get in my car and head south, and likely before that happens, spring will be here. I have been indoors watching others sharpening their wits against the snow.