Loading...
The Rural Voice, 1987-12, Page 806- BERN F� KNIUES RE -FORGED Pre Christmas offer: Get 6 knives re -forged but only pay for 5 SHARP'S CREEK FORGE The modern "Smithy" R.R. 4, Goderich 519-524-8096 inegia Home Appliances CHRISTMAS APPLIANCE SALE Inglis Dryers -starting at $355 Inglis Washers -starting at $555* 'while supplies last Come and see our full line of freezers, microwaves, stoves, fridges and dishwashers. -L3t b Jim)clack2, Cen cna WATSON FARM ENTERPRISES Hwy. 6 N. Mount Forest 519-323-2755 1FIE STANDARD OF EXCELLENCE IN HOME A,JPLIANCES 6 THE RURAL VOICE SOME KIND OF MAGIC When you're about to have one of "those days," you never get any warning. It just happens. My latest one of "those days" began when I picked up an object propped beside the fridge: a broken hockey stick. I had errands to run, and the rest of the family had things they wanted me to get since I was "going that way anyway." One of those things was a replacement for the crippled stick. There was only one vehicle left in the yard to drive. As I turned the key, both the oil and gas lights gave me suggestive leers. I drove to the shed to do what had to be done. I was standing with the gas hose, my foot tapping in time to the gas dial's whir- ring, when the dog decided that the time had come to show the cat who was boss. Both got tangled in the gas hose during the melee. As the pair disappeared behind the barn, I was left with enough gas on my person to illuminate an evening sky had anyone cared to light up in my vicinity. The oil was easily found. The funnel was not. I know there are about a half dozen of them in the shop, but right then they were about as easy to locate as a safety pin when you've broken a bra strap. I poured the oil in, minus the funnel, which was not as easy as it sounds. I had just got to the house to repair the damages to my person when the phone rang. I answered a mellow - voiced man from Stats Canada about estimated crop yields in our area while stripping my clothes off into an untidy pile. When he asked if we had any rye in our area, I told him I wished we had, because I could certainly use a good shot of it. When I finished with him, I showered as the clock ticked away. I had my hair all lathered when I real- ized I was still wearing running shoes and socks! The hockey stick haunted me all day. Not just any old replacement was wanted. This one had to have the blade curve just so, and the numbers on the handle had to match. The mandate seemed impossible. When the third person instructed me to "have a nice day," he was in danger of spending his in intensive care. But in a small village hardware store I met my match. Carrying the mangled stick, I was down to the wire and meant business. An elderly gentleman seemed to be the only one in the store, and he was lovingly bent over a display of Christmas orna- ments, totally ignoring the jangling of the entrance bell. I thumped the stick on the floor. He looked over a shoulder at me and smiled. In no hurry whatsoever, he slowly straight- ened up and stood back to admire his handiwork. Row upon row of glitter- ing ornaments lined the wall and counter. I advanced, clutching the stick. "Did you ever see a more beautiful sight than these ornaments?" he asked. "No, I haven't," I mumbled, "but I'm here for one of these. I thrust the stick forward, its broken blade dang- ling under his nose from a few chunks of black tape. "Sure doesn't look like he'll score a goal with this one, does it?" he chuckled. "When was the last time you bought new ornaments for your Christmas tree?" "I'm not sure," I replied dazedly. "At least seven or eight years ago." (cont'd on following page) GISELE IRELAND, FROM THE COUNTY OF BRUCE, BEGAN HER SERIES OF HUMOROUS COLUMNS WITH THE RURAL VOICE. HER MOST RECENT BOOK, BRACE YOURSELF, IS AVAIL- ABLE FOR $7 FROM BUMPS BOOKS, TEESWATER, ONTARIO, NOG 2S0.