The Rural Voice, 1998-11, Page 14The World from Mabel's Grill
"Jecpers," said Wayne Bruce at
the afternoon session at Mabel's the
other day. "I've got to get to the bank
before it closes."
"I take it your haven't got one of
those microwaves," George
McKenzie said. When Wayne
expressed bewilderment George
explained about the story he heard on
TV about NCR the computer
company coming up with a
microwave you'll be able to do your
banking on.
"Cripes, I can't even program my
microwave to thaw hamburger. How
am 1 supposed to do my banking on
it," Wayne wondered.
"I can see trying to warm up
leftover meatloaf and instead sending
off $10,000 to somebody in Waga
Waga, Australia," said Molly
Whiteside.
"No, no," George said, "the
banking part is on the door of the
microwave, not on the control panel.
They figure you've got nothing to do
while you're waiting to warm up
your meatloaf so you might as well
use the time to do your banking."
"If I did my banking while I was
making supper I'd lose my appetite,"
said Dave Winston. "With the price
of pigs these days my bank account
is not a pretty
sight."
"They must
really think
banking is
going to be
quick business
in the future,"
said Cliff
Murray. "Who
spends much
time standing
in front of the
microwave
doing nothing?
How longdoes
it take to nuke
a frozen meat
The world's
problems are
solved daftly
'round the table
at Mabel's
pie?"
"Yeh, if they want to have me do
my banking someplace where I've
got time on my hands they should put
it in the tractor or the combine cab,"
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10 THE RURAL VOICE
said George.
"You mean you don't have a
microwave in that new tractor of
yours," Cliff jabbed. "You've got
everything else."
"Naw, it's in his new pick-up
instead," said Dave.
"What a scary thought," said
Wayne, "microwaves in cars and
trucks. Instead of people talking on
the cellphone and taking notes while
they drive, they can be making a
snack and doing their banking while
they talked on the phone and driving
at 120 kilometers per hour."
"So let me get this straight," said
Dave, "the bank would have me
doing business on a bank machine
but I'd have to buy the bank
machine."
"Ah yes, but due to the extra
convenience you're getting they'll
likely just charge you a small
monthly fee," said Wayne.
"I kind of like the idea of getting
my operating loan fixed up on a
microwave," said Cliff. "It's a lot
better than having to face the banker
across his desk and explain why he
has to give me more money so the
family can eat this winter."
"The way the banks are closing
branches it may come to just about
that," said Wayne. "I can see the day
when you want to see your loan
manager you'll have to make an
appointment on Bay St. Everything
else will be done over the computer
or teller machines."
"Yeh," said Wayne, "the bank will
have 545 vice-presidents, each in
charge of 2,500 computers — and no
employees."
"And each of the vice-presidents
will get 525 million a year, plus
bonuses," said Dave.
"Yeh but whose bank accounts
will they be looking after," Molly
wondered. "I mean they're getting so
picky about who they even allow to
have bank accounts. They don't
really want you if you haven't got a
good bank balance. Can you imagine
anything more humiliating than a
bank telling you they don't even
want your business?"
"N0000," said Dave and Cliff and
Wayne together, then looked a little
sheepishly at each other.°