The Rural Voice, 1998-03, Page 6CHRYSLER DODGE
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2 THE RURAL VOICF
Gisele Ireland
Let's have some good news
It's no secret to family, friends or I'd smack his head and ask where his
brains are and had he forgotten all the
safety lessons I'd taught him before he
started kindergarten.
For a specified period, to be
negotiated by viewers and readers, I'd
like to see and hear things that are
good about our world and about living
and not mention once what's going to
kill us. We're definitely getting to
paranoia when my seven-year-old
grandson tells me I should serve carrot
sticks at cookie break because he
could get hardening of the arteries.
Whatever happened to "good" advice
to children growing in life such as
love, honour and kindness? Without
these, they'll suffer from hardening of
the spirit and that's worse than any
physical condition they'll get from a
chocolate chip cookie.
I'd like to know more about
volunteers who help make life easier
for those in need and less about the
teacher's pension fund. Could we do
a special documentary on those who
donate their time and love for kids in
sports and keep in perspective the
minute percentage of deviants who
abuse their charges? Sure they make
better copy, really sickening and
sensational, but they don't do
anything for our level of happiness.
I suppose realism demands that we
deal with facts such as crime, tax
increases and the health care crisis,
but couldn't we do it after we've had
our spirits lifted with stories of how an
ex -convict successfully counsels
young offenders, how our taxes work
in the community to make a good life
for everyone and how far we've come
in health care in the last 50 years. It
would make the serious stuff a little
easier to bring into perspective and
perhaps the will and stamina to make
necessary changes.
Let's have some stories on honest
politicians, cheap dentists and people
who are still married to their original
partner. I know they are out there,
just as I know chocolate chip cookies
aren't going to give grandchildren
cardiac arrest. They could choke on
the carrot stick.0
Gisele Ireland, from Bruce County, is
an author of several humorous books
on farm life.
faithful readers that this time of the
year brings out the worst in me.
My pathetic moping and soulful
sighs as I stared out the window at the
frozen landscape finally got to the
Wrench, as he
offered to use
my hairblower
to thaw a chunk
of garden so I
could go out
and dig around
to eat a few
worms. You
know how the
stanza goes
about gobbling
big fat furry
ones and long,
slim slimy ones.
Just before that
he informed me
I had the disposition of a coiled cobra
and should have been a groundhog so
I could just hibernate. After 11 days
straight, with not a hint of sunshine,
he's lucky I didn't end up climbing
the television tower wearing nothing
but boots and mittens. It wouldn't
have done much for the scenery.
Were I an Internet buff I would
have typed in "psychotic derangement"
and come up with a cause and cure,
but for me, it's part of the snow
mentality and I really don't want it ex-
plained in clinical detail. This brings
me to the subject at hand — things I'd
rather not know any more about.
Is it of any benefit to us to know
any more about the American
president's sex life? In Canada, we're
bombarded daily with the question did
he or didn't he, while the biggest
natural disaster we've had for some
time in the form of ice and devastation
barely made the foot notes in the
American news.
How about those trustworthy
investor firms taking massive amounts
of air time to tell us how they are
going to take our money and have us
loll around on some tropical island.
before we get senile? Give me a
break. Would 1 trust money, if I had
any to invest, to a guy who ties his
shoe laces on a flag pole 35 stories
above street level? If I was his mother
j