The Rural Voice, 1997-11, Page 16Guest Column
Just who can you believe today?
by Art Kirkby
Is it my imagination, or are things
getting just a little more dishonest
lately? Oh, I don't mean the REALLY
BIG lies, the whoppers, like politicians
pretending to tell me what they'll
actually do after they get elected, or
their convenient memory lapses about
evenings with bimbette campaign
managers at the Bide -a -Wee Motel
on Highway 2, and things like that.
And I don't count the things any
Real Estate agent tells me either. "I
know the place next to it looks like a
halfway house for child molesting,
drug addicted, chainsaw murderers,
but, trust me, it's not. The people
you saw on the lawn were, uh,
Shakespearean actors. Yes, that's it.
Shakespeareans, practicing, uh,
Twelfth Night on Elm Street." Any
more than I would accept the disturb-
ed mutterings of the president of a
tobacco company. "Smoking is
GOOD for you. Look what it does
for salmon." I'm not talking about
the truly enormous lies. I'm talking
about the subtle, sneaky ones. What
members of the legal profession,
steeped in the craft, call weasel
words.
Like the guys in the muffler shops.
Sure it's true that they'll replace the
muffler they install
for as long as you
own the car. It's
just that they've
arranged things so
that the muffler is
the teeniest, tiniest
portion of the
system. The
muffler is merely
the short boxy bit,
not the pieces they
call the exhaust pipe or the tail pipe,
or the extension pipe. And all of
those are guaranteed NOT to last. At
least, not past the edge of the lot.
You think you've got the whole thing
protected? What's it like to be bom
every minute?
And speaking of car pieces,
there's an ad around showing all the
Weasel
words
bend
the truth
freebies you get when you buy one
particular automotive rickshaw from
overseas. Take a good close look.
Some of those freebies look
suspiciously like a steering wheel, a
gear shift, and a brake pedal. Hey, if
those are options, don't settle for
anything less than the fully -loaded
model. It's a red light. Quick,
honey, drag your feet.
This bending of the truth, this
fudging of the facts, is becoming
epidemic. It shows up in clips for
movies, where the producers throw
together a half-dozen bits to show
you what a terrific film you'll see, for
a measly $8.50. Turns out, these six
bits are the ONLY good laughs or
exciting scenes in the whole thing.
The other 89 minutes 45 seconds are
as devoid of life as the producer's
cerebrum.
What started me thinking about
this current tendency to flirt with
fiction when facing fact, was a
catalogue. One of those monstrous
department store tomes they slash
DAWLEY ENGINEERING
CIVIL, STRUCTURAL and MECHANICAL
ENGINEERS
Toll Free: 1-800-287-9553
Ph / Fax: (519) 364-7837
HANOVER, ONTARIO
e-mail: dawleyen@wcl.on.ca
Working With Agriculture
"Quality and Profitability Begin When the
Designer First Puts Pencil to Paper"
• STRUCTURAL DESIGN/ANALYSIS
(Concrete, Steel, Wood & Masonry)
• BUILDING DESIGNS
• COMPLETE TENDER DOCUMENTS
(Design—Build or Fixed Price)
• FUNCTIONAL LAYOUTS
• SITE DRAINAGE
• 3—D PRESENTATIONS
• MANURE HANDLING SYSTEMS
• CONSTRUCTION MANAGEMENT
• BUDGET PREPARATION & DESIGN
• COMPUTERIZED DRAFTING & DESIGN
(All drawings on AutoCAD R13)
C[On
ASSOCIATE
MEMBER
Nelson Dawley, P. Eng.
12 THE RURAL VOICE