The Rural Voice, 1994-11, Page 6Agricultural
Software
Computer Training
Courses in agricultural software
are being held in Walkerton
during November '94 to March
'95. Courses scheduled are:
Dairy Herd Management
Accounting
Swine Herd Management
Crop Management
Beef Herd Management
✓ Day and evening classes
✓ User friendly
✓ Reasonably priced
✓ Learn features and benefits
✓ Improve farm productivity
For info and brochure call
Falstrem Consulting
Services
412 9th Street
Hanover, ON N4N 117
(519) 364-7391
"Our experience
assures lower cost
water wells"
94 YEARS' EXPERIENCE
Member of Canadian
and Ontario
Water Well Associations
• Farm
• Industrial
• Suburban
• Municipal
II
Licensed �! `
by the Ministry
of the Environment
WELL DRILLING LTD.
WINGHAM
Serving Ontario Since 1900
519-357-1960 WINGHAM
519-664-1424 WATERLOO
2 THE RURAL VOICE
Gisele Ireland
Turning 50 - win some, lose some
This week's mail yielded an
unusual number of offers to become
some company's next millionaire.
All that is
required is a
small order, just
a dozen or so, of
their
revolutionary
new product and
at the bottom of
the offer is a
skill testing
question, always
mathematical.
Let's try it.
What do you get
when you
multiply 5 x 10,
25 x 2, 10 x 5? By jove, you're
right on, you get 50, but what's
more important, it adds up to half a
century and that's exactly what
Super Wrench has won, sort of.
You see, he's hit this tremendous
milestone in his life when middle
age is a reality. We are all helping
him through this difficult period by
commiserating with him about what
he's lost and congratulating him
about what he's gained.
He's lost the ability to bounce out
of bed after partying to the just -
before -dawn hours. Now it's more
like a slow motion version of a bear
emerging from hibernation.
He's gained the ability to lay
down on the couch after dinner and
have a power nap even though his
grandsons are engaged in a rough
and tumble game of floor hockey
right beside him and the odd shots
land on various parts of his body.
You have to be over 50 to be able to
do that.
He has gained the envious ability
to have us all hang onto his next
words. That's because he has a
habit of starting a sentence, and then
not finishing it. You wait minutes
sometimes, and other times the
escaped thought makes a
reappearance a week later. It keeps
us all in suspense.
He's Lost the ability to be able to
Load and unload five wagons of hay
in an afternoon and make it back to
the house without help. By the same
token, he's gained the ability to be
suitably impressed and vocal in his
praise when the younger men want
to display their exceptional stamina
and physical prowess. it takes a lot
less energy to praise and admire, he
confessed, than to try and compete.
He's become more discrimina-
ting. A medium rare prime rib din-
ner served by a congenial waitress is
much preferable to waiting in line to
sample 30 different dishes at a
smorgasbord. He also learned the
art of admiring the bouncing,
wiggling female form as a form of
art without being accused of either
lechery or envy. He knows at his
age he couldn't handle it.
He's learned to live without a lot
of money, which was easy, since
he's never had anything which could
be remotely classed as a financial
empire. He does appreciate finding
a $20 bill in the pocket of his coat
he put away last year, and really
comes into his own as we all try to
claim it.
What he loves above all else is
the unexpected and surprises, which
we're all counting on ... because
we've planned a surprise party for
him and we'll let you know how it
turns out.0
Gisele Ireland, from Bruce County, is
an author of several humorous books on
farm life.
READY TO LAY
PULLETS
BABY CHICKS
BABCOCK
WHITE & BROWN EGG LAYERS
FISHER POULTRY FARM INC.
AYTON ONT. NOG 1C0
519-665-7711