The Rural Voice, 1993-07, Page 401LLY,
TME KID
Thanks for the present. Please take it back.
Whoever it was who dropped
a kid off at our farm, I wish
they'd come and get it. It
used to be a cute wee thing, but lately
it has grown into a real pain in the
neck.
It thinks it is one of the family and
insists on sleeping and eating with
my own kids. I draw the line at
having a four -footed, goateed kid at
my table calling me ma -ma.
Not only that, when I try to
discipline the little fellah he butts me
with his head, you know where.
By Helen Harris Reekie
Lately, I have taken to wearing a
belted pillow, because I never know
when I might get it in the rear, so to
speak.
His favourite trick is to wait
until I get my hands full.
Like with a basket full of
clothes for the clothes line
or a basket full of eggs
from the hen house.
Then "wham", he lets
mc have it. Talk about
egg on your face!
Remember that old
Doris Day movie,
"Please Don't Eat
The Daisies?"
Well, now I know
what they were
talking about.
Someone must Drawing by Daryl Graham
have left a kid
off for them, too.
I don't know who it is that is
going around dropping off their kids,
here, there and everywhere, but I
think they are what you call yer
practical jokesters.
Not only does this kid eat flowers,
he eats everything in the garden too.
Also tin cans, plastic bags, shoes,
toys, clothes etc. This kid even
gnawed his way
through a two
pound bag of
rat poison. It
didn't even
give him a
belly ache.
I wasn't
trying to get
rid of him,
honest I
wasn't. He
just sort
of found it lying around and ate it,
bag and all.
The other kids are getting kind of
tired of him sleeping with them. He
hogs the bed and all of the covers,
which he eats for a midnight snack,
and he smells bad too. You know, he
is one of those kinds of kids, who no
matter how often you bath them,
always manages to get dirty and
smell bad.
The poor old dog doesn't think
much of our new adoptee either. He
puts up his best front, barks, growls,
shows his teeth, but he winds up out
manoeuvred and flat on his back
every time he tangles with Billy the
kid.
I'm not saying the kid is a bully,
but yesterday he knocked my
husband Sam off the milk stool, when
Sam was trying to milk old Bossy.
Then that darn kid ran around the
barn laughing into his goatee. Sam
ran around the barn after him, cursing
and swinging a pitch -fork, but
he couldn't catch that
fleet -footed kid, no
siree.
Tomorrow morning,
I'm putting this
advertisement in the
paper.
Dear Practical Joke-
ster:
Whoever you are,
please come and get
your goat, because he
sure enough has got
mine. Yours truly,
93 HARASSED.O
36 THE RURAL VOICE
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