The Rural Voice, 1993-03, Page 8"Our experience
assures lower cost
water wells"
92 YEARS' EXPERIENCE
Member of Canadian
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• Farm
• Industrial
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Licensed
by the Ministry
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DAVIDSON
WELL DRILLING LTD.
WINGHAM
Serving Ontario Since 1900
519-357-1960 WINGHAM
519-886-2761 WATERLOO
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Stephen
Thompson
Box 387, Blyth
523-4916
4 THE RURAL VOICE
Gisele Ireland
It's that time of year again
Super Wrench is totally mystified
that a woman who operates on all
cylinders most of the year slips her
cogs for about a month every year.
In order to stave off this period of the
miseries for him,
he came home
with a bunch of
flowers the other
night for no
reason at all. I
checked him for
strange hair on
his suitcoat and
lipstick marks on
his shirt before I
thanked him.
His insight
into what is left
of my mind
impressed me.
He knows the
Something
makes us do
strange things
time is fast approaching when I'll
start doing things he can neither
understand nor do too much about.
He did concede that he's observed
this strange phenomenon in other
women so he refrained from asking
for a court order to have me declared
incompetent.
There's something in the heating
system that causes women to do
strange things this time of the year.
We look at the house and get an
irrepressible urge to wallpaper and
paint. We threaten and grovel to get
help to do this, and pout endlessly if
no one else shows any interest. We
tend to haunt decorator stores in
droves just admiring the paper and
drapes that match exactly.
We haul things out of the closet,
where we stuck them just about a
year ago. They can include a half -
finished blouse, three afghans, none
of which are completed, and a half -
quilted baby cover that was supposed
to be for a child now already
attending kindergarten.
Women have been known to
watch especially soppy movies
during this time just so they can
comfortably weep, scattering the
contents of a box of tissues all over
the couch without having to explain
why they're watering worse than the
weather was all last year.
Food preparation has become
boring by this time and exciting new
recipes are tried on the long suffering
family. We discover the magic of
real ginger root and weird vegetables
that no one can pronounce and show
little enthusiasm in eating.
Our energy level is at an all-time
low. We have all the mental zip for
projects imaginable and then when it
comes time for the body to move into
action, we tend to put it off. It makes
the house look a bit like a clearing
house for unsaleable merchandise
with all these things started and
nothing finished.
We're very sensitive about our
appearance, wishing our nose was
smaller, our eyes a different colour
and our hair a different shade. We
dejectedly sort through our closets
and find all our clothes are the wrong
style, in colours that don't suit, and
nothing goes with anything. We then
lament because we don't have the
money to do anything about it.
If it's a really bad case of the mis-
eries, we try to do things to change
our husbands and children. They are
on red alert for clothes which aren't
hung up, beds that are unmade and
whiskers in the sink. It only lasts for
a short period so their tolerance is
pretty good. In extreme cases, wives
and mothers will insist on haircuts
and a ban on any clothes on the floor
in bedrooms and bathrooms. Don't
fret guys, this too shall pass.
Super Wrench has been going
through this for a number of years
and always survived. He knows he
can't cure it and is positive he isn't
the cause, so the only option left is to
just simply bear it.
For any household plagued by a
woman who suffers from the mid
winter miseries, Super Wrench has
a couple of suggestions: phone a
friend and go snowmobiling or take
in a hockey game at the local arena.
He finds it much easier to be as far
away from the house as possible. He
might have to help complete the
quilt.0
Gisele Ireland is from Bruce County.
Her most recent book, Brace Your-
self, is available for $7 from Bumps
Books, Teeswater, Ontario. NOG 2S0.