The Rural Voice, 1993-02, Page 8TNT EMUS
FLIGHTLESS
BIRD FARM
1
DON G. TRIEBNER
Ratite Association
Member
502 Main Street
Exeter, Ontario
Canada NOM 1S1
(519) 235-2364
Fax: (519) 235-1203
Farm: (519) 237.3641
Mobile: (519) 748-8413
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1
February 27, 1993
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4 THE RURAL VOICE
Gisele Ireland
Lie to me a little on February 14
For some reason, a lot of women,
including myself, find hard to under-
stand, the 14th of February makes a
lot of men uncomfortable. Super
Wrench is among that number.
He finds it
really silly that
he is expected to
make extravagant
and passionate
declarations of
undying love that
one day of the
year, even
though he has
been passionate
and loving
during the rest of
the year.
During our
discussion of
what constitutes
love and passion, especially when
you've been married past a quarter of
a century, he brought up things I'd
never really thought of as loving.
Evidently my daydreams of a
mariachi band under the bedroom
window or a diamond ring hidden in
my cornflakes don't match up to his
version of what loving is all about.
Super Wrench claims being the
first one up to get the house tempera-
ture above fifty degrees is a gesture
of love towards those still hidden
under the covers. A bouquet of roses
would be a poor substitute in his
estimation.
Furthermore, he stated, "what
about all the times I sweep your car
off and start it on the way to the barn
so you can go to work in comfort?"
Candies wouldn't cut it.
Every time he takes me to a movie
he claims he's making a passionate
declaration of undying devotion
because he strongly dislikes movies.
He has to sit still too long and he'd
sooner be snowmobiling or going to a
hockey game.
Shopping with me is another
loving sacrifice he makes on various
occasions during the year. Trailing
after me to search for the right fabric
for drapes is his idea of undying
devotion stretched to the limit.
In the same token, I guess I can
stop buying him wildly romantic
things on that day too. My abounding
love is generously portrayed every
time I peel his socks off the bathroom
floor and check his pants pockets for
tissues before washing them.
My passionate side must come
forth every time I cook liver and
onions, which he loves and I'd sooner
never taste again.
It must be love when I uncom-
plainingly tour every machinery yard
between home and our destination
that day. We spend more time there
than we ever do shopping for drapery
material.
Delirious desire must overcome
me every time I offer to go to the
barn and help him ship or move hogs
if he's too tired to do it alone. Un-
fortunately the same emotions don't
overcome him when I'm behind in
the ironing or when the house looks
as if the ancient Romans had an orgy.
True love, Super Wrench claims,
is buying me a new scraper in the
barn, when the other has lost its edge,
without being asked. I guess that's
why I got him that new skill saw last
week. He knew I needed it for him to
make some closets so he went ahead
without me having to ask him. What
utter devotion!
When you look at the big picture, I
admit he's got a few valid points. It
still baffles me though why February
14th should be such a tough day to
get through. Generally women don't
ask for public declarations in the
newspaper or for his feelings to be
broadcast via the radio. All I want is
a nice bunch of roses, or anything
else that's not normally exchanged,
with a mushy card and a few stolen
kisses.
I'm to the age now where I appre-
ciate any declarations, even a few
white lies concerning my fantastic
body, my sparkling personality or my
exceptional sunny nature. At least, I
hope he can make the effort to lie a
little, with passion, and I might not
pout over the non-appearance of
posies.0
Gisele Ireland is from Bruce County.
Her most recent book, Brace Your-
self, is available for $7 from Bumps
Books, Teeswater, Ontario. NOG 2S0.