The Rural Voice, 1992-08, Page 8FARM
SAFETY
FACTS
FROM THE
WEST WAWANOSH
MUTUAL INSURANCE
COMPANY
Flowing grain has
killed many children
on the farm
• Never allow children on or in
grain wagons
• Know where the children
are before moving grain
• Older children should be
informed of all hazards
• Flowing grain Is like
quicksand!
When you need Insurance call:
Frank Foran
R R. 2, Lucknow 528-3824
Lyons & Mulhern
46 West St , Godench 524-2664
Kenneth B. MacLean
R R 2, Paisley 368-7537
John Nixon
R R 5, Brussels 887-9417
Donald R. Simpson
N.R. 3, Ripley 395-5362
Delmar Sproul
R.R. 3, Auburn 529-7273
Clinton 482-3434
Laurie Campbell
Brussels 887-9051
Slade Insurance Brokers Inc.
Kincardine 396-9513
Chapman -Graham Insurance Brokers
Owen Sound 376.1774
Chapman -Graham -Lawrance
Walkerton 881-0611
West Wawanosh
Mutual Insurance
Dungannon
Ont. NOM 1R0
519-529-7922
1-800-265-5595
4 THE RURAL VOCE
Gisele Ireland
This ill wind blows no one good
The very intellectual individual who
came up with the phrase that the two
things we couldn't escape in life are
death and taxes wasn't bom in this
century. If that had been the case,
surely he or she
would have added
"running" to the
inescapable things
in life.
If you don't
think it's import-
ant, why are you
so exhausted all
the time? Just
think of all the
running you've
done this week
and scan your
sprinting record
for the past
month. That's a
lot of miles to put
on your running
shoes.
We all run for different reasons.
Some of us who huff, wheeze and
drown in our own sweat before a fibre -
filled breakfast are either milking cows
or running to outlive our neighbours
and our sins.
Some people run for office. Others
run to the office. Either race will leave
you with sweaty palms and a heavy
sensation in your chest, laced with a bit
of fire, just as if you'd just had an orgy
with jalapeno ice cream.
Around here the speediest and most
essential races are run for the wind.
You can just wipe the silly grin, not
that kind of wind. We run when the
wind changes to south west. It's an all
alert, full steam ahead and elbows
pumping like bellows to hit the
clothesline as soon as the shift hits.
Those who haven't been in the very
lucrative pork business will wonder
whether I've spun a bearing. Just ask
any swine handler what I'm talking
about.
For some reason, the air this year has
about double its normal capacity to ab-
sorb and distribute whatever's floating
around in the atmosphere. In our case it
isn't fields of newly mown clover or
honeysuckle and orange blossoms. It's
thc scent of pork chops on the hoof.
The clothes line is a sitting duck for
anything that's drifting and looking for
a home. Odours included. If the shift
in wind direction is overlooked,
everyone pays.
Super Wrench goes to a meeting
and begins to warm up a bit. He does
tend to do this sometimes after sun-
down. As the room gets warmer and
Super Wrench's body gets warmer, the
scent becomes noticeable and distinct.
It's not quite the same scent you smell
on pork producers' hands for 24 hours
after they've shipped pigs. That scent
is a mixture of lots of chlorine, a dash
of antiseptic mouth -wash, followed by
a liberal dousing of after shave. I
recognize that smell anywhere. The
faint essence of piggy in poly cotton is
a bit harder to place and there's lots of
nose wrinkling, moving away and just
general opening of windows involved
before anyone realizes what has just
occurred. This farm woman hung her
clothes on the line and didn't catch the
wind change!
Our son is currently seeking treat-
ment for a disturbing disorder. He
automatically lifts anything he puts on
his body, his bed, or his closet to his
nose and sniffs audibly. Even the
tiniest whiff of eau de porcine, and it's
chucked right back in the laundry bas-
ket. He just barely survived the last
traumatic episode of wind change and
lax runners. He took his favourite
beach towel to the shore and offered to
share it with a feminine buddy. She
eagerly accepted but soon began
inching her way into the sand. He
couldn't figure out why she was bent
on putting such a distance between
them until he turned his nose into the
towel. He was so upset, he snorted.
Our daughter woke up after a
nightmarish sleep. She dreamt all
versions of pig horror stories and
couldn't figure out why. It didn't take
long. The sheets had been on the line
the day before and we had a strong
south wester blow in. There was no
one home to do the running.
Of course, there is a very simple
solution to this dilemma. Dry the
clothes in the dryer in the house. Oh
how I wish. My dryer is going through
menopause and has hot flashes. It
either bakes permanent wrinkles into
the clothes, or just shuts itself off
entirely. There's a new one on order,
just as soon as corn hits $3 a bushel.
Until then, clear the way, thc wind just
shifted again.0
Gisele Ireland is from Bruce County. Her
most recent book, Brace Yourself, is
available for $7 from Burnps Books,
Teeswater, Ontario. NOG 2S0