The Rural Voice, 1992-07, Page 8It Pays
to Know
About
FCC
Shared Risk
Mortgages
FCC's unique Shared
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If interest rates change
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ai Total rate increases
cannot exceed 2 1/2%
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A Shared Risk
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matter what happens to
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To find out how FCC can help you,
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Owen Sound
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Stratford
Listowel
1+1
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524-5366
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Investing in Good Business ... Canadian Agn hate
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4 THE RURAL VOICE
Gisele Ireland
You don't know what you started
If that miserable human being
who cracked the tail light out of my
car in the parking lot just knew what
they'd started, they'd want to beat
themselves up in shame!
Super Wrench
put the light back
in, but very si-
lently. No com-
ments, no castig-
ations. Nothing.
To me, that's a
clear sign he's
gathering ammu-
nition for his
next reform kick.
Guess who the
target will be?
It wasn't long
in coming. Just
by sheer acci-
dent, I happened
to forget to look at the gas gauge and
ran out of fuel on the way home,
again. Admitting something like that
right off pays big dividends around
here. It was a neighbour who helped
me out and Super Wrench would
have heard about it anyway before
the week was out. So I told them.
And for good measure decided to let
them know how technical I'd
become. I informed Super Wrench
that we had a small problem getting
the engine started after we'd added
gas to the tank, so we poured gas in
the distributor cap and it started like
magic. Our son spit his spaghetti and
Super Wrench looked horrified.
"Had that actually happened," he
informed me in resigned tones, "we'd
be picking parts of you and the car up
in a three county range. You took the
breather off and put fuel in it."
Breather, smeather, who cares
what it's called as long as it worked.
Right? Not in this life time, at least
not for my wrenchy honey.
Super Wrench's next line of attack
was the fact that I am woefully inade-
quate in the mechanical department
and should seriously consider taking a
car maintenance course with a driving
refresher just for the heck of it. He
didn't accuse me of anything outright,
just laid hints as broad as the 401.
Of course I objected vehemently.
"I'm not that bad," I said looking
around the table for help from my
daring children, "am I?"
I realized quite soon I should have
left them out of it. Almost instantan-
eously, they managed to recall a few
fences, a variety of ditches and of
course the never forgotten new bicy-
cle I ran over. Trying desperately to
regain some credibility I defended
myself by stating I hit objects, not
other vehicles.
"I can tell you why that is
possible," my precious son piped up.
I really wasn't interested, but short
of stuffing the table cloth in his
mouth, nothing was going to deter
him from adding another couple of
spikes to my already shaky defense.
"I watched you trying to parallel
park in town the other day," he
informed the diners around the table,
"you took three runs at a space big
enough to park a war tank."
"I got it in, didn't I?" I replied
with a decided snarl in my voice.
"Sure you did," he chuckled, "but
that was because the owners of the
cars in front and behind the space
came racing from the stores and
moved their cars out of harm's way.
You took a fourth run at it and just by
accident got half of the car in the
space, with the rest on the road. You
turn the wheels the wrong way and
don't back up far enough to park pro-
perly," he added for good measure.
There was nothing left for me to
trot out in my own defense. I was
outnumbered and presented with
evidence thick enough to attract flies.
I took refuge in silence.
Just think, you yahoo, wherever
you are, what you've done simply by
backing up into my tail light. I'm
going to be stuck in classes naming
parts of a car I'd sooner never know,
and learning the finer points of
parking and reversing. I certainly
hope you're happy, because I am
definitely not. There is hope though.
Fall is a few months away and I've
got some time to change Super
Wrench's mind, or drive him out if it
by then. Wish me luck!0
Gisele Ireland is from Bruce County.
Her most recent book, Brace Your-
self, is available for $7 from Bumps
Books, Teeswater, Ontario. NOG 2S0