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4 THE RURAL VOICE
NEW "MAN" IN MY LIFE
Gisele Ireland is from Bruce County.
Her most recent book, Brace Yourself,
is available for $7 from Bumps Books,
Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0.
Super Wrench often fails to return
home right after a meeting. Never has
he been asked to fill out a report on
where he's been and who he was with.
For the first time since working
away from home, I failed to report in
right on the appointed time, and,
worse yet, failed to inform him of my
intended tardiness. Upon arriving
home, I was immediately bombarded
with who, why, what, where, and
when. My reason was simple. I was
spending time with the new man in
my life.
At my age, something new and
exciting doesn't come along often.
When it does, I enjoy it for all it's
worth. This new man has in no way
threatened our marriage. He's made it
richer.
My new love is bald and chubby.
He's not a great conversationalist, nor
does he take me exciting places. It's
just a pleasure to sit and hold him.
My new heartthrob does not ask
for buttons to be sewn on his shirt,
leave wet towels on the floor, nor steal
my pillow through the night. He's
pretty well content to take whatever I
have to offer. He's only greedy when
it's meal time.
This man has somehow snuck into
every conversation I engage in. Any
weight gain is reported with pride.
Just watching him sleep is a privilege.
Super Wrench is kind of miffed
that the new love of my life makes me
do silly things. Like take the
sweetie's socks off and nibble his
toes. Just to get a smile, I'm willing
to nibble his toes and tickle his tummy
at the same time.
Super Wrench wistfully told me
he'd smile too if I nibbled his toes and
tickled his tummy. I'll bet he would,
but it just wouldn't be the same. He's
not Benjamin.
Benjamin is just a month old, and
our new grandson. He made it
possible for me to fulfil a role I was
born for. Grandmother. Super
Wrench is still having a bit of a
problem adjusting. I'll answer to
Grandma immediately, anytime,
anywhere. When Super Wrench is
addressed as Grandpa, his head
swivels all over the place trying to
figure out who they're calling. He
also claims he's having problems with
the fact he now has to sleep with a
Grandma. It really hasn't changed
anything. He snitched my pillow from
right under my head through the night
on our honeymoon, and hasn't stopped
doing it yet. His chest hairs are
definitely showing gray here and
there. My chest hair is just fine.
Benjamin has added a new
dimension to our lives. He's part of
us, with some parts of our son-in-law
thrown in. He's the future. In fact,
had I known having grandchildren
would be so much fun, I'd have had
them first. Don't worry though, Super
Wrench will adjust just fine to the new
promotion he's received. It's that grey
chest hair that bothers him. Once he
gets over that obstacle, Grandpa will
fit him like a second skin. Sleeping
with a Grandma is something else
he'll become accustomed to. The only
other option he's got right now is to
sleep alone, and it's too cold for that!0
The Rural Voice
welcomes letters
and will publish
as many as
space permits.
Write:
The Rural Voice,
Box 37,
Goderich, Ontario
N7A 3Y5.