The Rural Voice, 1991-02, Page 8ROYALE
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THE
DUTCH STORE
519 482-7302
55 Albert St. CLINTON
Rathwell
National Realty Inc.
13 Rattenbury E., Clinton
519-482-3981
Bruce Rathwell
Regional Representative
(519) 233-3120
Talk to the
Farm Specialists
in Hall 2A, Booth No. 1272
Come visit us
FEBRUARY 5-8.TORONTO
4 THE RURAL VOICE
FEBRUARY READY
TO AMBUSH ME
Gisele Ireland is from Bruce County.
Her most recent book, Brace Yourself,
is available for $7 from Bumps Books,
Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0.
Super Wrench is determined to
meet the challenges of the coming
year early. He's got the farm books
finished with the mythical profits duly
noted. He's filled out reams of forms
for a tax he doesn't have a clue applies
to what and even less how to get
rebated.
For his biggest challenge, he's
trying to get an extra edge. He's
doubled his vitamin intake and found
a cute little homily, which he pinned
on my dresser mirror. It won't make
any difference. February will still turn
me into a moody monster because it
seems to be the month little things
ambush me from all sides, and leave
me with a less than sunny outlook on
life.
This is the month all the
mysterious glitches that occur in life
get under my skin. I'm sure they
happen to Tots of people, but Super
Wrench insists there's a flaw in my
genetic makeup which lets them
become bones of contention.
February is the month most likely
to find me standing in the laundry
room, turning on the clothes dryer,
which decided to quit at that given
moment. I'm totally out of clean
underwear.
When I'm already running late, I
can l?e sure that any vehicle I climb
into in the yard will have the gas
gauge resting on empty.
If I lose something I simply must
have, I can be sure that no amount of
hunting will turn it up. I will, though,
likely find the item I lost the week
before.
When the house is reasonably neat,
not a soul darkens our doors. Start
cleaning out the kitchen cupboards
and the whole neighbourhood decides
to drop in for a visit.
During February I'm most prone to
get snack attacks and the urge to gorge
on empty calories. When the urge is
at its worst, all I can find is an empty
chip bag and crumbs at the bottom of
the cookie jar.
The Sunday you're determined to
make it to church before they begin
the first hymn is the day two major
motors quit in the barn while doing
chores and half the pipes are frozen.
In order to cheer yourself up, you
dress in your very best outfit and get
in the car. The last person who drove
it was in coveralls, with parts of the
barn and most of the shop sticking to
them.
All the damp towels in the
bathroom missed the hamper by mere
inches. I'm the last one in, do pick up
duty, and find the towel cupboard
empty as I emerge in a sodden state
from the shower. The wet towels in
the hamper suddenly look terrific.
Unexpected company drops in at
mealtime. The night before we had
roast beef and the works. Tonight, the
table is tastefully arrayed with a
collection of plastic dishes containing
the leftovers from the past week.
Admittedly, none of these
annoyances are major challenges.
They just turn February into 28 days
of endurance testing of my humour
and Super Wrench's vitamin cache.0
Don't miss it!
The advertising deadline
for the March issue is: February 13
HURON
AgVi
BRUCEFIELD
ONTARIO
NOM 1JO
se,
Mervyn J. Erb
Agronomist
Independent Crop Consultant
TELEPHONE: (519) 233-7100
MOBILE: (519) 661-9451
STRATEGIES9