The Rural Voice, 1990-06, Page 6"Our experience
assures lower cost
water wells"
90 YEARS EXPERiENCE
Member of Canadian
and Ontario
Water Welt Associations
• Farm
• Industrial
• Suburban
• Municipal
Licensed
by the Ministry
of the Environment
01;7.•,r
Olj -_
DAVIDSON
WELL DRILLING LTD.
WINGHAM
Serving Ontario Since 1900
519-357-1960 WINGHAM
519-886-2761 WATERLOO
PURE WATER FOR AMERICA
Mar 0000.0•68.40.. o.al.
For service call your
professional Goulds dealer
for a reliable water system.
CLIFF's PLUMBING
& HEATING
Lucknow
519-528-3913
2 THE RURAL VOICE
SACRED COWS
Gisele Ireland, from Bruce County,
began her series of humorous columns
with The Rural Voice. Her most
recent book, Brace Yourself, is
available for $7 from Bumps Books,
Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0.
Super Wrench and son again sat
down to eat in the state that has be-
come common recently. They were
both covered with oil, only the whites
of their eyes showing, and exasper-
ated. They'd done all they could, but
it wasn't enough. The "old girl" was
ready for the parts only heap.
The two of them spent the meal
offering eulogies to the tractor they
had opened their knuckles on repeat-
edly. It was enough to make the
average woman want to upchuck. I
just couldn't take it anymore and ven-
tured the remark that Super Wrench
had a better bargain in me than in the
tractor he'd like to bronze and put on
the front lawn. Both of the men in my
life treated me to a stony glare.
If they'd stopped to think about it,
they'd have realized there was a grain
of sense in my statement. When
Super Wrench got me, all it cost him
was the price of an engagement ring.
The tractor took years to pay off.
When I spun a bearing, overheated,
or blew a gasket, all they had to do to
fix the problem was humour me. I
didn't need expensive parts to restore
me to working order.
And not once do I recall ever
having my rear end hauled up on
pulleys in the shop to get at my crown
gear or pinions. All I needed was
dinner out once in a while.
When the temperature dropped
below freezing, I didn't need a shot
of ether up my nose to get my motor
started. I just put on another sweater.
My oil pressure going up usually
meant that they'd plowed the entire
lawn when it was only the garden that
needed turning. An expensive new
oil pump was not required to get me
operative again.
The tractor has blown about as
many pistons and gaskets as I have
over the years. My blowouts caused
silence, some frostier than others, but
never to the monetary tune of the "old
girl's." I could have some original oil
paintings adorning my walls for what
she's cost them.
The hydraulic pump blitzing oil
all over them was far more readily
accepted than my doing the same.
When I blew, they ran for cover and
muttered, "Women ... who can
understand them?"
My muffler never burned out and
make me sound like a road grader at
dawn under my window. When I
sounded rough, they sent me to bed
with a hot drink and a couple of
aspirins. Far cheaper than new parts.
Sure, the "old girl" hauled many
a load over the years and ran miles of
even furrows. But I'd settle for the
gas money I burned up touring the
country for parts, not to mention
compensation for the utter humiliation
suffered asking for something I didn't
have a clue about when the guys
behind the parts counter knew full
well.
Even more important: during
our farming years, with very little
effort on the part of Super Wrench, I
produced four little load haulers who
also covered every inch of the acreage
we think we own. The tractor was
never capable of that feat!
When I finished with my tirade,
both Super Wrench and his son
regarded me as if I'd just spun a major
bearing. Super Wrench tentatively
offered to take me to a movie if that
would make me feel better. His son
was ready to go to the shop for the
grease gun.
Evidently, tractors are about as
sacred to farmers as the cows are in
India. We are at a crossroads, though.
Super Wrench can't afford a new
tractor any more than he can afford a
new wife, so the "old girl" will have
her rear end suspended on a pulley for
a few days again. I'm staying clear!°