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64 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
The
world's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
at
Mabel 's.
"Nice to know somebody's
making money growing crops around
here," grumbled George McKenzie
the other day when word got around
that police had seized $4 million
worth of marijuana growing in fields
across the area.
"Yeh, what are they valuing that
stuff at? About $1,000 a plant? I
could used a crop like that." said
Dave Winston.
"Yeh but the cops always give the
value of what the stuff would be
when you buy it off some drug
dealer," said Cliff Murray. "That'd
be like somebody paying $25 for a
steak in a fancy restaurant and
figuripg farmers are getting rich for
selling the whole steer for that
much."
"Hey, are you comparing a
restaurant owner to a drug pusher?"
wondered Mabel from over at the
counter.
"Sometimes 1 wish they did treat
food like it was something illegal that
had to be pushed," said Dave. "1
mean no matter how inflated a price
the police put on marijuana, people
are still paying a lot more for a
marijuana cigarette than they're
paying, say, for a hot dog."
"Well, one more reason for the
Americans to be worried about the
open border," said George. "As far as
they're concerned we're to blame for
their drug problems."
"Ah it will give the Minutemen
something to do," said Cliff.
"What's the Minutemen?"
wondered Dave.
"They've got this bunch of
vigilantes that are recruiting people
to patrol the Canadian border come
October to catch illegal immigrants,
terrorists and drug smugglers," said
Cliff.
"Hope they're ready for a long
walk to patrol that border," said
Dave.
"They may get recruits from R -
Calf," said George. "They'll want to
make sure we're not smuggling any
BSE -infected, over -age cattle across
to infect their herds."
"How about trucks smuggling in
softwood lumber?" said Dave.
"You think they might keep their
eyes open and catch any smugglers
bringing guns north?" wondered
Molly Whiteside as she poured refills
all-round.
"Ah there's never a problem with
the U.S. side of the border, only with
problems coming from here," said
Dave.
"I'd like to see them tangle with
some of those cigarette smugglers
bringing smokes across the St.
Lawrence," said Cliff. "That'd give
them a handful."
"Since it was high taxes that
started this tobacco smuggling thing
in the first place, 1 wonder if people
will start smuggling in cheap gas
from the U.S.?" wondered George.
"Well I might be in the market for
it," said Dave. "1 mean it costs me
more to fill up these days than 1 paid
for my first car!"
"Yeh. just think if gas had cost as
much back then as it does now, you'd
have more money tied up in the tank
than in the rest of the car," said Cliff.
"Boy, that must have been a long
time ago," jibed Molly. "Was there a
horse attached to that car?"
"Yeh well with the price of gas we
may see a return of the Hoover
wagon," said George. "Did you ever
see those pictures from the '30s of
horses pulling old cars?"
"Well if sure would be a lot less
expensive to have my kid ride a horse
than watching him burn off a tank of
gas on a weekend," said Dave.
"Oh 1 don't know about that," said
Cliff. "1 was reading this article in
Maclean's magazine about these
parents paying for their kids'
expensive hobbies. They were talking
about leasing a show horse at $1,000
a month then paying the stable to
keep the horse and paying for lessons
at a cost of another $850 a month.
Imagine paying $1850 a month!"
"They're paying $850 a month to
keep a horse?" said George, shaking
his head. "What are they feeding that
thing, marijuana?"0