The Rural Voice, 2005-05, Page 14The
Kvorld's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
al
Mabel 's.
"Well you're smiling this
morning," said Molly Whiteside one
day last week when Dave Winston
sat down for the morning coffee
session.
"Any day you can beatthe
Americans at their own game has got
to be a good day," said Dave.
"Don't rub it in," growled George
McKenzie. "Just because you pig
guys beat them over the anti-
dumping charge doesn't mean
everything's hunkydory."
"Well it's nice to see somebody
smiling around here for a change,"
said Molly. "You guys are getting
downright depressing to serve."
"Well it has been hard to get much
enthusiasm." said Cliff Murray. "It
Mabel's Grill
was a long winter. The crop prices
are bad. The border didn't open for
cattle and sheep when it was
supposed to and nobody can give us
an idea when it might. And there's
not even any hockey to take your
mind off it."
"Yeh, but if there was hockey
you'd all just be griping that the •
Leafs didn't win The Cup," said
Molly.
"Instead we complain about the
Jays losing," said Dave.
"And the Raptors," said Cliff.
"Who are the Raptors?",
wondered George.
"Hey, even Canadian farmers win
more than the Raptors," said Dave.
"Yeh, well don't be too pleased
with yourself," said George.
"Knowing the Americans they'll
keep the money and make you sue
them to get it back."
"And they'll slap you with another
anti-dumping action in about six
months," said Cliff.
"Hey, I figured they might be
more creative than that," said Dave.
"I mean now that they're going to
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10 THE RURAL VOICE
require every Canadian to have a
passport, I figured they might just
apply that to pigs. At $85 a head to
get a passport, it might be a pretty
good deterrent to exports."
"Yeh and with how inefficient the
passport office is, the pigs might die
of old age before they got their
papers," said Cliff.
"I wouldn't mind if they'd let
cattle across the border with a
passport," said George. "That $85
look pretty good when you see how
much our prices are down."
"Yeh, and the Americans are
making more money than ever," said
Cliff. "You can bet a lot of them are
in no hurry to see the border open."
"Oh it'll be no time at all now that
the Conservative Party is going to tell
that Montana court what to do,"
grinned Dave.
"Hey, no politics!" warned Mabel
from the counter.
"Yeh, let's have one place in the
country where you can get away
from this damn Gomery Commission
scandal in Ottawa," said Cliff.
"I'm saving a lot of wear and tear
on my TV these days `cause I can't
bear to turn the thing on," said
George.
"It's a terrible thing to say but I
was grateful to the Pope for dying
just to get some time away from the
scandal for a while," said Cliff.
"What kind of catastrophe do you
suppose it would take to get the
national media to lead off the news
with something else for a change?"
wondered George.
"Hey, those political reporters are
having so much fun with this I don't
think they'd pay any attention if
Shania Twain was running naked
down Yonge Street," said Dave.
"There's nothing a reporter likes
more than gloating at the failures of
politicians. Makes them feel as
superior as they already know they
are."
"Maybe we need to adopt our own
monarchy in Canada," said Cliff.
"Then the media could get all
wrapped up covering royal weddings
like Chuck and Camilla's."
"And the fact that Camilla wore
the same outfit twice in one week,"
said Molly. "Now there's a real
scandal!"0