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12 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
The
world's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
at
Mabel 's.
"I feel like I should be cutting
hay," said Cliff Murray the other day
after everybody stumbled in from the
cold for the morning confab at
Mabel's.
"Well don't get stuck in the snow
if you do," said George McKenzie.
"Why on earth would you think
about cutting hay when the weather's
been about as bad as it's been all
winter?" wondered Dave Winston.
"The hockey season's over," said
Cliff. "By the time they usually end
hockey season I'm heavy into the
hay."
"You don't suppose the hockey
guys heard Wiarton Willie say it was
going to be an early spring and took
it to heart?" wondered Dave.
"Well they sure didn't take it to
head," said George. "Imagine those
players giving up millions of dollars
today to try to prevent the possibility
they might make a million or so less
some time in the future if there's a
salary cap."
"Hey, I'll take a salary cap," said
Dave. "Anybody who wants to give
me three million, I'll happily give up
the possibility of earning five or six
next year or the next."
"Well maybe if all these guys are
out of work you can get some cheap
help this summer," joked Cliff.
"Hah! Hockey players farming?"
grumbled Dave. "The days of the
Hunter boys and Bobbie Hull are
long gone."
"I hope Bobbie's not still in
cattle," said George. "He'd need to
be playing and drawing down eight
or nine million if he was in the cattle
business these days."
"Well, maybe this march on
Queen's Park will jar loose some
provincial cash and keep us going a
few more months," said Dave.
"Will anybody really pay any
attention?"wondered George.
"Farmers are such a small part of the
population anymore that people,
particularly the politicians, don't
think we matter."
"I don't know if it's all about
numbers," said Cliff. "I mean there
can't be many more gays around than
farmers and look at all the attention
they get."
"Maybe we need to have some
farmers come out and admit they're
gay," said Dave. "They could claim
they couldn't make any money
because they're being discriminated
against and the media would be all
over them giving coverage."
"What, you mean like one farmer
marrying another?" asked George.
"That'd never do," said Cliff. "A
farmer has to marry somebody with a
good solid off -farm job if they want
to survive these days. You marry
another farmer and you're doomed
with two sets of debts in one family."
"I want to marry a rich hockey
player," said Dave.
"You a candidate for coming
out?" asked George.
"Not really, but I might try
anything for the money. He'd be
away for six months anyway."
"I just wish we could convince the
government we farmers were as
important to invest in as a casino,"
said Cliff.
"Yeh that $400 million for
Casino Windsor sure would have
gone a long way 'for keeping
cashcroppers in business," said
George.
"I think they're gambling that
farmers are addicted enough to
farming roulette that we'll spin the
wheel and go out and plant crops
anyway and hope for the best," said
Dave.
"Unless the cattle prices pick up
after March 7 I might just surprise
them," said George gloomily.
"I think the government is
addicted to gambling as we are," said
Cliff. "They make so much money
from lotteries and casinos and
nobody complains, not like taxes."
"Good god, I think you're right
about this addiction thing," said
Dave. "Maybe that's what happened
to all the CAIS money. They took it
all to the casinos and blew it at the
crap table."0