The Rural Voice, 2003-06, Page 14r 1St Choice
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10 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
The
world's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
at
Mabel 's.
"Turn off the radio," growled
George McKenzie when he came in
for the morning coffee break the
other day.
"I can turn on a different station if
you don't like this music," Mabel
called back from the kitchen.
"It'll only have the same damn
news on it," said George. "Mad Cow
disease, West Nile virus, SARS —
I'm so sick of all this bad news I just
turn off the radio and TV."
"Well there goes my investment
strategy," said Wayne Bruce. "I
figured my retirement might be
looked after if I invested in media
companies since they seem to thrive
on bad news and we've sure had lots
of that lately. But if the bad news is
making you turn them off, maybe
other people think the same way."
"Everytime I turn on the news
something's costing me money," said
George. "I mean did I really need to
know my cattle herd just lost 25 per
cent of its value because of one damn
sick cow in Alberta?"
"Would you rather just take a load
of yearlings to the sale and find out
when it's too late that the price
dropped?" wondered Dave Winston.
"Yeh, who says what you don't
know can't hurt you," said Cliff
Murray. "At least now you can hold
back your stock a little while and
hope things get better."
"And keep on putting more feed
in them so I lose even more if the
prices don't bounce back," grumbled
George. "You guys in pigs look
pretty smart right now," he said to
Dave.
"How about those of us in sheep,"
wondered Cliff.
"Only by comparison to your
sheep," growled George.
"At least there's good news on the
dollar going up," said Wayne.
"Speak for yourself," grumbled
George. "The dollar going up means
the price of my cattle goes down
when I send them to the States — if I
could send them to the States.
"Good grief, so even the good
news is bad news," said Molly.
"Weren't you the guy who was in
here last year saying the low dollar
was proof the Liberals didn't know
how to run the country and we were
all going to hell in a handbasket?"
"They still don't know how to run
the country, it's just that the Amer-
icans are doing an even worse job so
their dollar is sinking," said George.
"Yes but you should be able to
save money if you buy equipment
from the States," said Wayne.
"But I can't afford to buy
equipment because the price of cattle
is so low," said George.
"Well at least there must have
been good news in this Dr. Atkin's
Diet thing," said Molly Whiteside as
she delivered George's coffee.
"Why would some diet make me
happy," said George. "It just means
people eat less."
"Yes but the research showed
people lost weight faster eating lots
of protein like meat and eggs and
cutting back on carbohydrates like
bread and pasta," said Molly. "I'd
think it should send a lot of people to
the meat counter."
"Hey, what do you know — for
the first time in my life I'm on a
diet," said George. "I've eaten lots of
meat my whole life."
"Maybe those researchers should
reconsider," said Molly, looking at
George's ample girth.
"Hey anything that gets people
eating more of my meat is fine with
me," said Dave, "but whatever
happened to all the research that had
people cutting back in the first place?
I mean I can never figure out how all
the nutritionists can tell us we
shouldn't eat this or that, then they
switch around and they say we
should eat the same damn stuff. I'm
confused."
"That's why I never listen to
them," said George. "I mean I'm not
going to give up all the things I like,
eat a whole lot of stuff I don't like,
and then have them tell me `oops, we
were wrong and you ate stuff that
wasn't good for you'."0