The Rural Voice, 2003-04, Page 16DAVID E. GREIN
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12 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel's Grill
The
world's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
at
Mabel 's.
"What are you looking so sour
about?" Dave Winston asked George
MacKenzie the other morning at
coffee break.
"I just came from my accountant's
and found out how much tax I'm
going to have to pay this year," said
George.
"Lucky you," said Cliff Murray.
"I always figure when you have to
pay taxes you must have had a good
year."
"Doesn't feel like it," said George.
"Did you max out you RRSPs?"
asked Mabel.
"I did, but I wonder if there's a
point," said George. "The way my
mutual funds have tanked in the last
couple of years I'd have been ahead
if I'd saved my money and paid the
extra tax to the government."
"Do you ever get that kind of
shaky feeling when you get your
income tax return back from your
accountant and you're supposed to
sign it underneath the part that says
you acknowledge the facts are true?"
wondered Cliff. "I mean I hire an
accountant to do my income tax
because it's too complicated for me
to figure out, yet when I sign it I'm
supposed to be saying I know it's
right."
"I don't worry when I owe them,"
said Dave. "I figure they're not going
to check too hard if I have to send
them a cheque. It's only when they
owe me they're likely to get picky."
"I figure I pay an accountant his
fancy price so I won't be sending
them money," said George. "It's
kinda adding insult to injury when I
have to pay the government then the
accountant sends me his fat bill too."
"Well at least your taxes won't be
going up to pay for a war," said
Dave.
"Uh-uh-uh, no talk about the war
in here," said Mabel, as she saw
George rising to the bait. "And
nobody gets to wear fancy political
ties like Don Cherry either. We've all
seen where that leads."
"Well at least we didn't have to
hear him yapping about hockey for
one night," said Cliff.
" I guess we might as well go
home if we can't talk about the war,"
said Dave. "I mean there's not much
else to talk about these days except
the weather and that's been good
enough lately that we can't even
complain about it."
"Oh you'll find something to
complain about," said Molly
Whiteside. "You always do."
"Did you see they're even giving
weather from the war zone on
Canada AM," said George. "Me, I
always figured when you lived in the
desert the weather would be pretty
much the same every day."
"Yeh but they keep having these
sand storms," said Cliff. "I mean a
good January blizzard looks pretty
good besides that stuff."
"I don't know about you but I've
already heard more about this war
than I ever care to," said Molly,
noticing that Mabel had gone back to
the kitchen. "I mean listening to the
news is okay but this hours of TV
they're using up when they don't
really have anything new to show
you or talk about is getting boring."
"Don't worry, hockey playoffs
will soon be here," said George.
"Oh joy!" said Molly.
"I see at least they didn't let the
war interrupt the Oscars," said Dave.
"Not that it was worth watching.
With all the women deciding
decorum dictated they should change
their dresses into something more
solemn, there was hardly anybody
being flamboyant."
"You mean half -naked," said
Molly. "You'll have to watch the
Playboy channel instead."
"Or that new show where people
cook in nothing but an apron," said
Cliff.
"Hey Mabel," yelled Dave. "You
ever thought of cooking in nothing
but an apron?"
"Only when you start eating in
nothing but a bib," Mabel called back.
"Oh please!" said Molly. "Dave in
a bib? That'd be enough to turn the
whole country anorexic."0