The Rural Voice, 2002-11, Page 16The
world's
problems
are
solved
daily
'round
the table
at
Mabel's.
guess the fall's finally here,"
said Cliff Murray one gloomy day
recently.
"Yes, but we better not complain
after the summer we had," said
George McKenzie.
"That'd be a first," said Molly
Whiteside as she served the coffee.
"The good thing is thoy're talking
about a nice mild winter," said Dave
Winston.
"Good for us," said George, "but
how'd you like to be those poor
suckers out west who are looking at
no snow after two or three years of
drought."
"Yeh, I hear they're talking about
another dust bowl if they don't get
some moisture soon," said Cliff.
Mabel's Grill
"I was thinking about that," said
Dave. "I mean, they needed hay and
a whole lot of people got involved in
the Hay West Campaign. Now they
need moisture and a whole lot of
people here in the east are worried
about how much liquid manure we've
got. Maybe we could fill some of
those empty oil tank cars on their
way back west with liquid manure to
help them wet down the soil."
"Yeh, but what would we call that
campaign?" wondered George.
"Don't even think about it,"
warned Mabel as Cliff pursed his lips
with his suggestion.
"Besides, I've talked to some of
those guys out there and they think
we easterners have been dumping
that stuff on them for years," said
George. "I try to explain to them that
just because Ottawa is in Ontario we
shouldn't all get blamed. Lots of us
hate the government too."
"Speak for yourself," said Molly.
"I happen to think there are a lot of
good things we get from the
government, like medical care."
"That must have happened by
accident. Do you ever watch question
EnGenius
"
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12 THE RURAL VOICE
period on TV?" George wondered.
"You watch those bozos at work and
you wonder we ever get anything that
works in this country."
"Did you see that it's now 25
years they've been televising the
Parliament?" said Cliff.
"No wonder people are turned off
government," said Dave. "They turn
the camera on some boring politician
and just let him drone on. I mean at
least they could get somebody doing
commentary — say put Don Cherry
to work commenting on how the
Prime Minister defended himself
against the opposition offensive."
"Now that would be interesting!"
said George. "Imagine what Cherry
could do to Jean Chretien."
"And can't you just see the videos
he could be selling: 'Don Cherry's
Rock'em Sock'em Parliament
Greatest Hits'. You could see Pierre
Trudeau's Fuddle Duddle or John
Crosby threatening to clean some
guy's clock."
"That would turn people off
Parliament for good," said George.
"Which would be alright by me
because I always thought a
benevolent dictatorship would be a
step forward anyway."
"Yeh, but it all depends on who
she's benevolent to," said Molly.
"Maybe we should go back to an
absolute monarchy," said Cliff.
"Except we don't have our own
monarch. We have to borrow ours
sort of like we borrow our defence
from the Americans," said George.
"Maybe we should get our own
monarchy," said Dave. "I mean if we
had Wayne Gretzky marry Celine
Dion we'd have a true Canadian
monarchy that covered both English
and French Canada."
"Yeh, but they're both already
married," said Molly.
"Hey, look back to the glory days
of the monarchy — a little thing like
that didn't matter then," said Cliff.
"If it was for the good of the country,
marriages got arranged and ended."
"And I mean think of how useful
our monarchy could be," said Dave.
"Queen Elizabeth just reviews the
troops and cuts ribbons. Come next
Olympics our King could manage the
hockey team and the Queen could
sing the national anthem."0