The Rural Voice, 2000-09, Page 8TK)
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'Ytice Subject To Change A-uhout Nonce
K
4 THE RURAL VOICE
Gisele Ireland
'It was a wedding never to be forgotten
If any of you out there have
children, with marriage intentions,
who have in passing even mentioned
getting married outdoors, pay
attention. File this column in your
memory bank and red flag it. Maybe
that's not strong
enough.
Highlight it, red
flag it and paste
yellow caution
tape all over it.
In addition,
make sure you
call Wendy, the
sister of Super
Wrench, and her
hubby Al,
survivors of
such an event
and willing to
share.
The following is what you could
expect should the "I dos" be
outdoors.
The whole family will suffer from
exhaustion by the time the BIG DAY
cracks a sunrise and be borderline
paranoid. They can control
everything but what really counts,
which is of course, the weather. It's a
crap shoot.
Holly's BIG DAY started off with
a huge load of apprehension. It had
poured off and on for the past four
days. Everyone mumbled prayers,
begging for a break from weeping
skies. The setting was idyllic. The
homestead is just at the edge of the
Riversdale Swamp with an
abundance of natural wildlife and
flora and fauna. The home place
looked spiffed and polished and a
new shed had been erected, the kind
with a tarp over the hoops to keep the
guests comfy from the glaring sun.
The guests arrived and were
directed to park in a newly cut
hayfield and were left to meander
around and admire the labours that
had exhausted the whole family and
friends for days before. The sun
shone benevolently from relatively
clear skies and the minister signalled
we were ready to rock and roll.
The service was just about
completed when the first tiny hitch
appeared. The bride and groom were
not instructed to share their first kiss
after the vows. The family members
thought maybe Holly didn't want to
be kissed by Chris. The Catholic
guests thought the Presbyterians
didn't allow kissing during the
ceremony and the United Church
guests didn't mind having the "obey"
removed from the script but were a
bit miffed at having the kissing blown
off too. It was none of the above. The
Rev. Harvey just simply forgot,
which I think, set the stage for the
rest of the events that followed.
Black clouds began to roll in.
Most of us had made it to the driving
shed -cum -bar by this time and were
enjoying some liquid refreshment
before that wonderful stuff we could
smell in the outdoor barbecues was
served. The tented area was by now
transformed into a gracious dining
area with linen cloths, and all the
accompanying decorations that make
weddings so memorable.
There was one deafening crack of
thunder, an awesome light display
and the heavens opened in all their
fury. Approximately half the guests
were exposed in the yard and the
other half were in the driving shed -
cum -bar. The exposed half made it to
the tented dining room just as the
wind decided to perform. The shed
was open at both ends so there was
no impediment to the flying
tablecloths,centrepieces and plates.
There was nothing to stop the water
either. As it began to creep up around
our ankles some of us noticed all the
electrical cords on the ground
connecting the sound system and
twinkling lights. Others noticed the
wedding gifts being unwrapped and
washed by the driving rain. Others
yet, noticed that this was not going to
end soon and we'd better do
something.
Some of the guests managed to get
the gifts to higher ground. Others
tried to catch some of the flying
equipment leaving via the swamp and
others grabbed brooms and whatever
else was handy and started sweeping