The Rural Voice, 2000-03, Page 14RENT IT
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"Yes, We Can Come To Your Farm"
12 THE RURAL VOICE
Mabel
's Grill
"Hey Molly, do you belong to the
Women's Institute?" asked Dave
Winston the other morning as Molly
Whiteside refilled his coffee cup.
"The women's what?" asked
Molly.
"Yeh, I figured you were too
young," said
Dave.
"I used to
belong before
it got too busy
in here," said
Mabel.
"Yeh, that
figures too,"
grumbled
Dave.
"Why?
asked Molly.
"Well I was
reading about
this WI in
England where
the members put out a nudie
calendar of themselves and I
wondered if the idea might spread to
here," said Dave.
"And you thought I ... in your
dreams!" said Molly brandishing the
pot of hot coffee dangerously close to
Dave's head.
"Well hey, they sold over
$800,000 worth of calendars," said
Dave.
"From my experience in the WI,"
said Mabel, "first you'd have a
problem persuading the women I
know to get their picture taken at all,
and getting them to take their clothes
off to get their picture taken is
beyond the question."
"Well apparently they we're
completely starkers, as they say over
there," said Dave. "They were in
their kitchens with household items
strategically positioned."
"Like the refrigerator?" Mabel
wondered.
"The article I read didn't say,"
Dave said, "but they said it did
wonders to change the image of the
WI."
"Yeh, right! Next thing instead of
having pot luck they'll have husband
swapping parties," said George.
"You'd be kinda like the last kid
picked for the baseball team wouldn't
you?" said MoIIy.
"I don't see any ring on your
MABEL'
z
The world's
problems are
solved daily
'round the table
at MabeI's
finger," said George.
"I'm just waiting for the right
guy," said MoIIy.
"Rich or handsome?," wondered
Cliff Murray.
"Maybe both," said Molly.
"You should have been on that
TV show about marrying a
millionaire," said George.
"I'm not that desperate," said
Molly.
"Imagine that," said Mabel. "You
meet this guy on a television show in
front of millions of people, you
answer a few questions then you get
married and go off on your
honeymoon."
"Yeh, my boar at least gets to
sniff the sow before they get
romantic," said Dave.
"Oh well, if it doesn't work out at
least she'll get some money out of it
which is better than most of the guys
I'd meet around here," said Molly.
"You should look for a dairy
farmer," grumbled George. "The way
their quota has been going up makes
Nortel stock look like a poor
investment."
"I knew I should have gotten into
something else than the restaurant
business," said Mabel.
"Hey, according to John Core
you're the one that's making money
in the milk business," said Dave.
"Pardon? I missed something
somewhere," said Mabel.
"Well Core, he's the chairman of
the milk marketing board, he says
when you serve a glass of milk to a
customer you're getting a lot more
for pouring the milk than the
farmer's getting for buying the farm,
raising and feeding the cow and
doing the milking."
"Good," said Mabel. "How many
gallons of milk would you like to
drink this morning? My customers
never seem to drink much milk.
Mostly they sit here and drink coffee
and take up the tables."
"Maybe you need a new specialty
to bring people in," said Dave. "I •
hear down in Australia they're big on
kangaroo meat these days."
"Yeh, I'll bet you'd be the only
restaurant around serving kangaroo,"
said George.
"But if you want to be first," grin-
ned Dave, "you'd better hop to it."0