Village Squire, 1978-03, Page 50r
P.S.
You have to have a lot of nerve
in this modern world
BY KEITH ROULSTON
Most of us, except extreme egotists.
wish we could add something to ourselves
that we envy about other people.
Some people wish they could look like
Farrah Fawcett Majors, or depending on
the sex of the yearner, her husband Lee.
Some people want to be strong. Some want
to be smart.
I think the quality, if you can call it that,
that I envy most in other people is nerve. I
mean the kind of nerve that lets a little old
lady hit a blind man on the shin so that he
has to hobble to th„ subway train and she
can get there . t to get the last seat.
Me, I've always been a Malcolm Meek
when it comes to such things. Oh I've been
told that I've got more nerve than brains
and I'm sure people have read something
I've written and muttered "Well of all the
nerve", but when it comes to dealing with
public situations I'm as spineless as a
jellyfish.
There's a book out called "Winning
through intimidation" or something like
that. It's putting the Philadelphia Flyers
tactics to work in general life and it really
works. I haven't read the book but I've
seen people who were putting the tactics to
work long before the book or the Flyers
came along. There's a business man 1 know
who starts yelling, or at least making nasty
comments whenever a salesman enters his
front door. He immediately has the poor
guy on the defensive and so is able to have
the situation in his favour.
An associate of mine in this business is a
master of strategy. He can be talking away
to you pleasantly, telling jokes and
laughing and suddenly remember a
telephone call he has to make. He gets the
party on the other end of the line and reacts
like a lion with a thorn in its paw, yelling
and screaming and growling and threaten-
ing never to do business with the person
again. Then he hangs up and goes back to
telling stories and laughing.
On the other hand, I'm one of those
people who only gets mad under extreme
provocation. I have to fester for a half a day
before I'll get mad enough to let out a blast
at someone. It puts one at a. distinct
disadvantage in this tough world. The
Bible says the meek shall inherit the world
but I think it must have lost something in
the translation because they're sure not
getting any closer to it 2000 years later.
There are so many times that I kick
myself for not being firm, or hard. I've
heard of people being unhappy with food
they've been served at a restaurant and
PG. 48. VILLAGE SQUIRE/MARCH 1978.
calling the waitress over and demanding a
replacement. Me, I'd eat it if I thought I'd
get botulism rather than make a scene.
I've seen people who insisted they know
the director of a play and he'll get them
tickets, even though there are 100 people
waiting to get in to a sold -out performance.
And they are usually successful because
they made such a scene that the theatre
management would rather make room than
go through the public embarassment. If I
was one of the patrons already with tickets
I'd be upset, but I'd probably offer to give
up my own seats to make room just
because I was embarassed by the
embarassment of the management.
I've dealt with people for whom, no
matter how much you did. it was never
enough. Yet somehow. maddeningly. you
always found yourself putting special effort
into pleasing that person, even though
you'd loved to have told them where to go.
The sad fact is that the nervy people of
this world are feeding on the meek like
pirahnas on gold fish. If you teach your
children to be polite and honest and
trustworthy, you're really just preparing
them for a liftime of being suckers for those
who know that being impolite, shady and
looking out only for themselves can bring
big rewards.
There's always been this problem, of
course. The sucker, the hick, the trusting.
honest soul has always been a victim of the
guy who didn't play by the polite rules. In
fact our literature has tended to make a big
hero out of the guy who took advantage of
the meek.
Anyway, I'd love to be able to get some
of that calculated nastiness that makes
people winners in this world. I'd love to be
able to just turn on the nerve when
necessary, not to take advantage of people,
but to be able to fight back when others are
trying to use the same tactics to take
advantage of me.
Strangely I feel miserable when I know
I've been polite and nice but I've been had.
As I've said there are few times when 1
fight back. Usually I have to get furious,
stew in my own juices for a while and then
erupt. But when I do erupt, I feel
marvellous. Oh something way down in my
conscience tells me I should be ashamed of
myself for acting the way I did, for saying
the things I did, but despite that I feel
wonderful. Then I make a pledge that I'll
never be downtrodden again but the next
time somebody with calculated nerve tries
to take advantage of me, I surrender with
nary a whimper. Ah, but I have marvellous
dreams of revenge.
5us 10,161
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