Village Squire, 1977-06, Page 42The company that makes our particular
kind of typesetting machine had done its
best to try to make things as simple as
possible for us ordinary mortals out in the
boondocks. They sell a spare parts kit with
all the machines with at least one
replacement for all the electronic parts that
can break down. If something goes wrong,
heaven forbid, you call them up and like a
doctor telling you how to deliver a baby
over the telephone, they tell you step by
step the tests to make to isolate your
problem, then what to do to fix it. In this
way you're supposed to be able to fix
things yourself.
I live in terror of the word from one of
our typists that the typesetter has broken
down. We had such a breakdown a couple
of years back and we went through a
number of calls to the repair service of the
company, each time with them telling me
several things to try. Finally, however, we
exhausted the possibilities and I had to
throw in the spunge and have them send
up a repairman to fix the problem. He
arrived, put the pieces back that we'd
taken apart trying to find out what was
wrong, plugged in the machine and it
worked like a charm. He sat around for the
next two hours trying to make it do
something wrong, then left, and left
behind a bill for a couple of hundred
dollars.
The day we were supposed to be putting
the last Village Squire to bed last month
the machine broke down again. There was
a sinking feeling when I heard the clunking
sound it made. Investigation showed that it
wasn't a goof in the spaghetti factory part
of the machine but a simple mechanical
problem: a nut that screws down on top of
the gears that determine the spacing
between letters had stripped its threads
and wouldn't hold them on. A simple little
thing, but it held up the whole production
of a magazine.
Panic. Then a very mechanical friend
suggested the obvious solution: simply go
down to a hardware store and get a nut that
was the same size. Now why didn't I think
of that?
Panic calmed. Down to the hardware
store to -get a replacement. Buy three
different kinds of nuts just to be on the safe
side. Total investment less than a buck.
Come back, put the nuts on the machine
and everything should be well.
Panic. The nuts don't fit. Too small.
Back to the hardware store, buy the next
size larger. Nuts don't fit. Too large.
Panic. Call mechanical friend. Of course
they should fit, he says. A simple quarter
inch nut fits perfectly on his machine which
is practically the same. Better try again. I
get that old "over my head" feeling of
being non-mechanical in a mechanical
world. The nuts still don't fit.
Call the company's repair service now.
The man on the other end of the line
sounds calm and professional. Wait until
he gets the file on my machine he says.
He's prepared to solve the worst that can
happened in the complicated computer
section of the machine. I tell him about the
little nut. He hardly knows what I'm
talking about. That part you see isn't
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INTERIORS
151 Main Street West, Listowel, Ont.
40, VILLAGE SQURIE/JUNE 1977.
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supposed to break down. He can solve the
big things but a little thing like a nut is
beyond his ken.
Well does he know what size of nut I
might be able to put on to make it work
until they can send me a proper one? He
hasn't the slightest. Well, do they have the
little nut in stock so they can mail it out to
me as soon as possible? He hasn't the
slightest. if he has them, he'll mail them
today.
Back to experimenting with trying to get
those nuts that are too small on the bolts
that are too big without wrecking
something permanently. It just won't work.
Not very confident that I'm not just goofing
things up myself, 1 call in a more
mechanically minded friend. He can't
make it work either. The hours fly by and
we give up on being able to meet our
printing deadline. The magazine will just
have to be late.
The next day, a Saturday, things are
desperate. Why not? I think after coming
up with what sounds like a stupid idea. I
buy a package of chewing gum and chew
one of the sticks until it's a nice sticky
mess. I put a little of the mess on the
spacing gear and screw the nearly -thread-
less nut down on top of it. I turn the
machine on and lo and behold the sticky
gum holds the nut from spinning off and
the machine works. In fact it worked for the
three days necessary for the parts to get
there from the city.
Yes in the complicated modern world the
hairpin may be useless as a tool but
chewing gum, now that has promise.
Why leave anything to chance when something can be done about
the traditionally frustrating problem of choosing or receiving the
right gifts.
USE OUR
GIFT REGISTRY
WEDDINGS
ANNIVERSARIES
BIRTHDAYS
CHRISTMAS
.MOTHER'S DAY
FATHER'S DAY
and other
SPECIAL OCCASIONS
HOW DO YOU LET PEOPLE KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY
LIKE - WITHOUT AN EMBARRASSING EXPERIENCE?
Tell us at THE WAXWORKS BOUTIQUE - We can pass it on
through our gift registry.
HOW CAN YOU KNOW WHAT viFT WILL BE MOST
APPRECIATED WITHOUT SPOILING THE SURPRISE BY
ASKING THE RECIPIENT?
Consult the Gift Registry at THE WAXWORKS BOUTIQUE -
Your frustrating problem could -be answered -
Ti'E WAXWORKS
WINGHAM