Village Squire, 1976-11, Page 15All the world's a stage
BY IRENE McBRIDE
How many of us can go through life, or
even a day, without a change of mask,
veneer. call it what you will?
Take, for instance, complaints to car
repair people. I have found that a pussy at
face is far from adequate. On entering their
premises for a showdown I, mentally, don
my Doberman Pincher mask. It works! I
scare the wits out of them and come away
with the work. caused by their neglect,
done for free. 1 know this is one of the
times when they would gladly bury me in
the back lot but my Doberman act has
served its purpose.
Quickly 1 don my Cheshire Cat disguise,
v: hich makes me feel veru °leased with my
morning s work.
Supermarkets require a Sherlock Holme:
camouflage. I mentally get out my.
magnifying glass; the better to study
prices. weights and con games, like the
placing of sales items at strategic spots. A
subterfuge tb keep us moving around and
getting hooked by all the high priced
goodies.
When my spouse isn't feeling well, out
comes the compassionate nurse bit. 1 tend
to his needs with the care and' dedication of
a Florence Nightingale. but. the minute he
shows signs of recovery, the tender and
kind nurse face is v: hipped off and 1 sulk
i
behind my 'long suffering wife' mask.
Supper time finds me donning my 'short
order cook' look. It goes with the 'slap it in
the pan, flip it over, toss it on the plate and
bounce the plate onto the table' routine.
Then I flex my muscles and assume a Jack
Dempsey pose as I wait for complaints.
Cleaning house calls for a Mrs. Mop. As
I dust and polish I feel akin to Paul
Gallico's, Mrs. 'arris and find myself
wishing to be in Paris.
.When chores are finished, and I sit down
to write, out comes my 'Thinker' act. It
gets mite chilly being 'The Thinker'
though; which accounts for my inability to
be a prolific writer.
In the presence of. children I find a
comfortable, well padded, grandma is
called for. Out comes the 'genial grandma'
face as I take them on my knee. Not being
the 'well padded grandma' build 1 find they
usually fall off the other side.
Being a one dog family I find the pooch
gets very lonesome for a playful companion
so I. occasionally, assume my 'Red Setter'
posture and get down on the floor for a
rollicking good play fight. When it's over I
put on my 'too pooped to pucker' face and
lie down.
Sailing from Southampton to New York
on the QE2 was a wonderful opportunity to
wear my 'International traveller' disguise.
Who cared if my being aboard ship was the
s .� igeloi
ii
f.•
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FEATHER
TICK
409 MAIN ST.
•
j•
EXETER . 235-2957
For a Christmas you'll always remember
Shop at:
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Unusual gifts and Linens
Antique reproduction of plaques and
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Appliqued luxurious velvet towels and
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For the Younger Set:
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end result of having no other way to make
it from England to Canada. I figured that,
in a ship bulging at the sides with
passengers, there must be at least one
other coward who would faint at the sight
of a plane. So, instead of my 'Red Baron'
helmet and scarf, I donned by 'old salt'
disguise and had myself a whale of a time.
Going through customs in New York
called for an unwordly, thoroughly honest,
innocent. Unfortunately it didn't work and
the customs official searched through four
cabin trunks and assorted pieces of hand
luggage before he found out that I wasn't
putting on an act; proving that people are
conditioned to assorted masks.
With New York taxi drivers I quickly
donned my, 'You can't fool me, kid. 1 know
the shortest route to Grand Central,'
camouflage.
When we finally crossed into Canada, by
train, on the last leg of our journey to
Toronto, I was delighted to don my 'Wow!
We made it!' face. I imagine Sir Edmond
Hillary wore a. similar expression when he
topped Everest.
So don't let the Stratford Festival
excellence overawe you; we are all brothers
- whoops - persons under the skin. Even
the great Shakespeare himself recognized
it - 'All the World's a Stage and all the Men
and Women merely players.'
----Remember?
FOR CHRISTMAS
*
Coffee and End Tables 1i
O ■I♦� ,
Bridge Tables and P
Chairs *
jirtiffi� • Lamps - swag, table Q
• and bedroom
The Gift Ideas ��k
tin
many. Just come C
in and
1 Browse around 44
lip
House of Max
BRUSSELS, ONT
Village Squire November 1976, 13