The Rural Voice, 1985-12, Page 54I
With Our Best Wishes
to You this Holiday Season
� 1
WE SERVICE ALL
MAKES & MODELS
OF TRACTORS &
FARM EQUIPMENT
SHOP RATE only $20/hour
FRASERS SALES & SERVICE
Farm Equipment
R.R. #1, Brucefield, Ont. NOM 1J0
519-482-9286
SF*
Hampshires and Durocs
Registered, R.O.P., Breeding Stock
Purebred and Crossbred
LODON ACRES
Don Johnson & Sons
R.R. 2, Mildmay
519-367.2111
CANADA FARM
LABOUR POOL
ATTENTION FARMERS
Need a break from the DAILY
ROUTINE of chores or maybe
you need extra help for the
busy seasons?
Why not let the Grey -Bruce
Canada Farm Labour Pool
assist you in fulfilling all your
farm labour needs?
We have a number of people
registered who are qualified &
willing to work on your farm.
Give us a call in
WALKERTON
881-3671
and
OWEN SOUND
371-9522
14,
CANADA FARM
LABOUR POOLS
52 THF Rt'RAI Vt7I('E-
GISELE IRELAND
A welder
with your name
on it
As the season of good will toward
men is once again approaching,
everyone is supposed to get into the
giving spirit. The provincial govern-
ment has reached deeply into its
pockets and come up with the gift of
all times.
There was a bit of loose change
Floating around after bailing out
Dome Petroleum and the bank flops,
so it was shoved in Jack Riddell's
direction. It made him the new ver-
sion of The Six Million Dollar Man.
This six million, lying around
somewhere, is like a multi-purpose
detergent. It will make everything
come out sparkling new. The first
phase, the hotline, will provide a
soothing voice to calm your financial
nightmares. I think a taped version of
"We've got the gold mine, you've got
the shaft," would be more ap-
propriate. Nevertheless, this voice
will listen and direct you to a
"qualified expert" in accordance
with your problem. Don't ask me
where these experts are coming from.
If there are any, where have they been
stashed during the past few years?
After these qualified experts have
The best of
everything
to you...
had a practice run at you, and you
still don't feel satisfied, you can ad-
vance to the transition part of the
program. As with all good govern-
ment programs, this one has a special
name. It is called FIT (Farmers in
Transition). Loosely translated, it
means that you are neither here nor
there, but FIT will make you a
somebody. The Six Million Dollar
Man has a welder with your name on
it. He will turn farmers into a useful
segment of society by making welders
out of them.
Whoever dreamed up this part of
the give-away forgot one thing. Any
redneck who ever ran a piece of junk
on four wheels, which we like to call
equipment, wouldn't have survived
without a welder. Most farmers have
laid a bead on more terminal
machinery than any welding instruc-
tor has seen in his entire career. But
let's face it, we have to do something,
and FIT sounds like it might fit the
bill.
Farmers will get their usual
message from Queen's Park this year,
and if it doesn't contain application
forms for OFFAP, BFAP, or OF-
FIRR, it will most likely contain a
clicky little gadget that sets the spark
to a welding torch. This will mean
that you, you lucky sucker, have
qualified for FIT. The Six Million
Dollar Man has never seen me
operate a gas barbecue, or he'd think
twice about turning me loose on the
world with a welder. I'd be lethal. I
have my doubts whether he could do
anything for Super Wrench either. He
has his heart set on being a
gynecologist. We will welcome FIT
with the credit it deserves — by tor-
ching it.
No matter what else you get in the
mail this year, I personally send best
wishes for the holiday season from
our whole family. ❑
Gisele Ireland is a pork producer in
Bruce County. Her humourous col-
umn began with The Rural Voice and
her book, Bumps in your Coveralls, is
based on her column.