The Rural Voice, 1985-11, Page 12hears her husband talking about the
experience, it still brings tears "when
I think about what we have lost."
"Legally, you know the farm is not
yours anymore," says Swain. "But
ethically, morally, we have never
given up the farm. In my mind, the
farm is still mine."
Swain also understands the feelings
of many farmers who lose their land
and want to get the whole process
over as quickly as possible so they can
disappear into the city or relocate to
another area. But he adds that
"Farmers who have lost their farms
can still do a lot in the farming com-
munity," if they remain close to other
farmers. That way, there's a ray of
hope, Swain says, "that we as a
group can somehow change things in
the farming probability picture." On
a more personal level, staying in
touch with the rural community lets
the farm family maintain at least
some of their roots. Those roots, and
"the faith that you're goingto sur-
vive and carry on," in Swain's words,
may be the most important legacies
left to farm families forced to change
the direction of their lives. ❑
SHIFTING GEARS
Selling the farm and saving equity
by Gertie Blake
"What will you do?"
When a farmer is confronted with
the possibility that he will have to
leave the farm, he finds that question
haunting him. Jim Wagner, who
farmed in the Chesley area, had an
answer on the day his farm machinery
was sold. His reply showed that he
had come to a positive realization
about his situation: "I'll enjoy living
a life without debt."
Jim and Janette Wagner feel now
that their positive outlook was the
right way to go, although at times it
would have been easy to be negative.
"1 didn't know what I was going to
do but I knew 1 couldn't sit and wait
for my equity to erode," says Jim.
When they married in 1970, the
Wagners bought their farm with high
hopes for a full and happy life. They
wanted to work together to build a
good business and comfortable home
in which to raise a family.
For the next decade, through hard
work and good management, they
built up a 400 -acre beef operation
they were proud of. An addition was
built on the existing bank barn, a
small pig barn was added for about
18 sows, and a large drive shed com-
pleted the picture. The tumble-down
old wood shed was removed and
replaced by a modern addition hous-
ing a new kitchen.
But in the early '80s, high interest
rates and low beef prices combined to
undermine the Wagners' plans. For a
time they held on, hoping things
would turn around. But Jim could see
that all he had worked for would
gradually be worth less and less.
After discussing his decreasing equity
with his banker, he realized that he
had to make a decision: stay on the
farm and hope for improved condi-
tions, or sell everything and salvage
his equity.
When facing this crossroads, "you
have to take a good look at yourself
10 THF RURAL VOICE
and decide what's good for you,"
says Janette. "Then when you decide,
don't let anyone change your mind."
So in 1984 the decision was made to
sell out. Making that choice did not
come quickly or easily. There was
that haunting question of alter-
natives.
Jim Wagner believes it is that ques-
tion that keeps many farmers from
making a decision to leave the farm.
But he felt he could face the uncer-
tainty of whether he could find a job
better than he could face the certainty
of losing all he had worked for.
They received a mixture of reac-
tions from friends and relatives. "It
takes togetherness and understand-
ing" to make the decision and stick
to it, Janette says. Some thought the
choice was wrong and said so, while
others were very supportive even to
the extent of offering financial
assistance. "I'll never forget those
people," Jim says, remembering how
touched he was by the offers.
But having made "an informed
financial decision," the Wagners
stuck to it. And they point out that
it is necessary to make that decision
and not avoid it. One day there was
nearly an accident with their young
son Steven, who was playing near the
tractor because "we didn't have our
minds on what we were doing, but on
what's going to happen." Disaster
was avoided, but it served as a warn-
ing to make them realize how
distracted they were.
Janette says about the ordeal of
making a decision: "It's comparable
to the mourning process. First there's
disbelief that this is happening to
you, then there's anger, then accep-
tance." It is important, the Wagners
note, for people faced with a similar
situation to be aware that it is normal
to experience these feelings. They
have to be dealt with and discussed.
And they must be discussed with
the children as well. Although Steven
was only 5 years old at the time of the
move, Jim says that the boy was quite
aware something important was hap-
pening. He began to ask questions
that showed he was worried so they
explained as much as they felt he
could handle at his age.
"Children need the support of their
parents," the Wagners stress. "But
you shouldn't emphasize the negative
feelings in front of them."
Making the decision is the key step.
Once the decision has been made,
"you can begin to be happy again,
because happiness comes from
within," says Janette.
"When you can hang the picture of
the farm in your rec. room, then
you've accepted it," adds Jim. He is
planning to hang the picture — soon.
The Wagners worry about the
number of farmers leaving the farm
and the impact that exodus is having
on the community. Not only are
families and friends being separated
by moves, but the increasing number
of strangers in the area seems to
threaten community spirit.
"The community is dying," says
Jim with a frown. "I'm sure the new
people are fine folks ... but they'll be
outsiders for a long time."
The Wagners feel very fortunate
that they were able to stay within
their own community, and especially
that Steven can still attend the same
school. "At least he has that con-
tinuity in his life."
As to the question, "What will you
do?" Jim replies with a grin, "You
learn to write resumes."
He now works for the Crop In-
surance Commission, a job he is cer-
tain he would never have gotten
without the skills and knowledge oh-
tained from his farm background.
"And I'll enjoy living again," h'
adds determinedly.'