The Rural Voice, 1983-11, Page 434
GISELE IRELAND
Up to here
in elderberries
by Gisele Ireland
A sign of maturity in a man is the
appearance of distinguished grey at
the temples. Once this maturity is ob-
vious, he usually gets passionately in-
volved in something. For some it's
restoring old cars; for others it's get-
ting involved in some organization
and for the really daring and
debonair it is trying to bamboozle a
woman other than his wife.
Since Super Wrench can afford
none of the above, and his first grey
hairs supposedly heralded his maturi-
ty, he has become passionately in-
volved in preserving.
I didn't realize it for the fetish it
was until it was almost too late. It
started harmlessly enough with an
abundant crop of tomatoes. We stuf-
fed them in jars in the form of chili
sauce and tomato juice. He and I are
the only juice drinkers and I gently
suggested that we had enough. In fact
we had a five year supply. He started
making it for "company". Since I
had no intention of inviting the
United Nations over for a bash, I hid
the fruit press and told him it had cor-
roded from all the acid. By this time
he was listening to swap shop and
writing down numbers like mad of
people who had bushels of tomatoes
to give away.
Next he trucked in apples. Since we
all like applesauce, I didn't have a
valid argument. He brought in three
five gallon pails of the scrungiest little
devils you ever saw. Some tree gave
them to him for free. They had an
average of five worms per apple and I
processed them, protein and all. I
whisked the fruit press out of hiding
and tried to mash them through. The
tree grew them as a grudge against
mankind and no amount of sugar
could camoflage the wormy flavour.
The only purpose they could have
served was wallpaper glue. I wouldn't
insult a preserving jar by filling them
with that mess so they ended up in the
corn field.
Things went along relatively nor-
mal for awhile and we froze corn and
pickled beets. Then he discovered
elderberries. I had always gone along
with freezing a few for pies, but per-
sonally think of them as purple
gravel.
The freezer was by this time
screaming for mercy and so was I.
Stemming the little suckers takes a lot
more patience than I have. He took
another fit and was abetted by our
son in bringing home half a truck
full. They sat and stemmed them and
discussed the different kinds of birds
they had seen and how cute the chip-
munk had looked eating an apple. I
was quietly fuming and tripping
around a kitchen that looked like the
site of a grape stomping contest.
Elderberries are so purple. By the
time they had stemmed the last lot I
had made five gallons of juice. I plan-
ned to make jelly and after I got
through the first gallon of juice I
realized what they had let me in for. I
was planning to dump the last four
gallons into the washer along with
their white underwear so that they
could have elderberries all year
around if they didn't get it out of my
splattered kitchen. When I saw them
scurry around the cupboards for
sugar, yeast and a bag of raisins. The
last I saw of the juice and the
elderberry fetish crew was them zipp-
ing out the door and trying to find a
friend who would make wine out of
the rest. If the wine ever turns out to
be drinkable, I'll keep it on hand to
pour him a glass when he gets the next
passionate urge to get involved in
something. Hopefully it will give him
a memory lapse.0
Gisele Ireland is a pork producer
from Bruce county and has a regular
column in The Rural Voice.
Surprise the lady
in your life with a
White's
Sewing Machine
Put away
NOW
for Christmas.
Bookings for
Colours Classes
now being taken
Mary's Sewing Centre
Clinton 482-7036
Listowel 291-3445
Winthrop
General Store
Open Monday -Friday till 9 p.m.
Saturday till 6 p.m.
Grocery and Hardware
Propane for vehicles
and cylinders
CEDAR POSTS
FENCE SUPPLIES
45 Gal. Steel Barrels
-Gas-
DOUG & GAIL SCHROEDER
527-1247
THE RURAL VOICE, NOVEMBER 1983 PG. 41