The Rural Voice, 1983-10, Page 49OVER THE BACK FENCE
Something wonky
about women
by Tom Maplewood
1 think my columnist colleague
Gisele Ireland was on the right track
last issue expounding on the foibles
of women (and men). Where she
picked up the notion that women are
the Maker's "improved model" over
men, I haven't a clue, but I get the
story a little different. As 1 see it the
Creator constructed man and was so
impressed with Adam that he pulled
another copy just to see if it was luck
the first time. We've all seen the
result. 1 guess the mold must have
broken and it doesn't look like it's
going to get fixed for sometime.
There is something a little wonky
about women and please don't figure
I'm prejudiced just because I'm not
afraid to admit it. The way things
have got these days you can just
about get shot for speaking up
against women. But it's high time
somebody did and if I'm going down
with the sinking ship I intend to take
a few with me.
Look, here's just a few examples.
Did you ever hear of men having a
pecking order? I guess not! And take
a look at love. Who's got time for it
anymore? Certainly not women.
They're too busy feministing and get-
ting their kind into men's clubs and
such to be bothered with it. And they
were never that het up about it to
start with, in my opinion. They now
equate being in love with being
retarded and they turn their noses up
at it.
It used to be if you dropped around
with a handful of flowers it was darn
near taken as a proposal for marriage
and you were ushered into the house
like royalty, introduced to the parents
and the whole bit. Now their reaction
is, "What the heck (and they don't
always use polite language) does he
want?" If they're not mad at you for
showing up then they'll laugh in your
face like you'd arrived over in your
sister's clothing. Heck, none of them
get serious about love anymore. 1
have more fun talking to the cows
than to women. At least they don't
laugh at love.
Women used to complain that men
weren't romantic enough. Now they
seem to have developed past that and
have moved way down the list and are
much more interested in the size of
his bank account or whether his
career would present a conflict to
theirs.
You see, women were just getting
men trained to take the time to be
romantic and care about women's in-
terests and all that sort of thing and
men were starting to accept the idea
as they are kindhearted and figured
women deserved to get what they
wanted out of life, too.
Now look what's happened. It
used to be women married for love
and men for the next best thing. Now
women don't give two hoots for love.
They just like tantilizing the daylights
out of poor hardworking men and
driving the poor lads into fantasyland
by how they dress and carry
themselves and when the fellows act
the least bit interested the women
won't give them the time of day. It's a
caution, believe me.
The examples Gisele gave in her
column only underline what I have
said. I liken today's woman to the
dog that chases cars and puts on
enough of a show that you'd swear it
had had its paws run over. But when
the car stops, it runs off. It just don't
make sense. Keep smilin'.❑
Tom Maplewood, originally from
the Ottawa Valley is a Stratford resi-
dent and freelances as a writer of
humour. The name, Tom Maplewood
is a pseudonym.
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•
Don't go through Blyth
without stopping at
Yvonne'sfor
Homemade
Hamburgers
r. -
Milkshakes
Ice Cream Cones
Take -Out Dinners
(Also tables inside)
Hours: 7:30 a.m. - 9:00 p.m.
Mon. to Fri.
8:OOa.m.-9:00p.m.
on Sat.
11:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m.
on Sunday
YUOnne's Take -Out
At the Sunoco Station,
in the centre of Blyth,
east side of Highway 4.
Shop and Compare
on your next
furniture purchase
Compare price, selection
and service. You'll
find the best for
less in Clinton at
Ball & Mutch
Home Furnishings
71 Albert Street
CLINTON 482-9505
Open six days a week,
9-6. Friday till 9 p.m.
THE RURAL VOICE, OCTOBER 1983 PG. 47