The Rural Voice, 1982-08, Page 42Ch°°DESIGN CONCRETE
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PG. 42 THE RURAL VOICE/AUGUST 1982
GISELE IRELAND
Save me from preserving
Preserving falls short on my list of favourite things. it
comes right after phoning the tax department and
volunteering to get audited.
Somewhere. carved on a rusty hoe, is a law stating that all
farm ladies must produce an abundance of
greenery to squash into jars. You braid
your own rope while planting, because a
few weeks after. it is piled in the kitchen to
be put away for the munch bunch. Some
like gardening to acquire a tan. 1 can't see
how. You have your head in the weeds and
your rump in the air. I get a terrific burn on
the backs of my legs which makes sitting
such a graceful act for a few days and get
the back of my neck burned.
I don't like ketchup, so 1 don't make it. My trucker
brother-in-law. who frequently eats with us puts the stuff on
everything, including his cornflakes. I get the urge to serve
him a knuckle sandwich when he sloshes it on medium rare
roast beef with gravy. I always thought that if you can't eat
%% hat is put in front of you. use the stuff to make it slide do \N n
somehow. He's also converting my son to sin along with
him. and with one on either side of you it puts you in mind of
dinner at Dracula's castle.
1 do like chili sauce and made it last year. Somewhere half
way through the process I had to take a wagon to the other
place and when I returned found it had simmered to the
consistency of roofing tar. it tasted about the same too.
Pickles don't turn my crank much, you get a backache
picking them. and then try for a hernia lugging the crocks
around for fourteen days with smelly brine. When they're
done, they never taste the same as the person's whose
recipe you got anyway. Dills are a lot faster and the last time
I made them I ran out of salt and had to get some out of the
barn.
Livestock salt seems to have more pucker power than the
regular stuff and the dills eventually fertilized the corn
field. Baby corn is relatively simple once you get the hairy
things shaved. This year 1 will try an electric razor. l am only
allowed to pick the outside rows under the trees and have to
wait until no one is around to get them so they won't find
where I've trespassed for the load. A fast way to wash
pickles is in the washing machine. Take out the gyrator.
turn to spin and rinse and the prickly green suckers are
ready to process. If you happen to put them through several
cycles. you get coarse relish or a year's supply of cucumber
soup. It takes longer to clean the machine than to chop the
pickles so I don't recommend it. Also. if anyone sees you
loading the washing machine with cucumbers it could be
spread around that you have lost both your oars.
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