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The Village Squire, 1981-05, Page 13Six Achers After the vagaries of shopping in St. John's, Newfoundland in the late fifties, and the ups and downs of purchasing life's necessities in Fairyland on the Rideau for over a decade, dealing with the business people of rural southwestern Dntario is a delight. A spending spree in the island capital was a voyage into uncharted waters. I was as intrigued by cod tongues and seal flippers, brcwis and bakeapples, as Champlain must have been when intro- duced to spruce tea and pemmican. Almost everything had to be imported from "upalong" (mainland Canada) or Europe, and one usually had two choices - take •it or leave it. The clerks' neutral stance could easily be mistaken for indifference. I remember one August asking a hardware store to order a large Pyrex casserole, complete with stand and two -candle warmer. With my money clutched in my hot little fist, I uncurled one finger long enough to point to my choice in the store's catalogue. The clerk was firm in her refusal. "We only order those in December, for Christmas", she declared, and withstood my raging as implacably as her island home withstands the fury of thc stormy Atlantic. She would not be moved. When thinking of Ottawa, I recall the good old days when bringing home the bacon was fun, and the only trauma was experienced in gathering up the grocer- ies, not in paying for them. Drivers leave the rules of the road in the supermarket parking lot with their vehicles. Once inside and steering a cart through the aisles, anything goes. You may drive in right or left lane, stop without warning, turn suddenly port or starboard without a hint of a signal, or make an impromptu U-turn when you realize you have just passed the pickled kumquats. On one of my expeditions, traffic was blocked both ways in a large supermarket while two women who had been travelling in opposite directions met, recognized each other as longlost friends, and stopped to catch up on the events of the past ten years. They chattered animated- ly, seemingly oblivious to the many customers waiting to get past. Finally the woman beside mc said "Watch this", and deftly ran the wheel of Shopping daze her buggy up the ankle of the nearer blockader. The miscreant turned to an ocean of bland, guileless faces, and moved asidc. With a wink and a smile my ingenious friend steamed ahead like Moses through the Red Sea, leaving one chastened and many chortling shoppers in her wake. Another time, spotting sport jackets on sale in a large department store, 1 picked out three I thought might be suitable. While Don modelled thc third, a rather loud brown and white check. 1 happened to glance behind me, and found we had an attentive audience. A middle-aged man had been watching our little show, and was laughing so hard he had difficulty speaking. At last, between spasms, he gasped, "1 hope if your husband buys that one he knows how to fight!" So much for Ottawa. The inhabitants of Huron arc much more helpful. All nearsighted sufferers will sympathize with the dilemma I face each time I need new glasses. Even with my nose pressed against a mirror, 1 gaze myopically through empty frames at a fuzzy blur. Last week 1 was selecting new glasses. Narrowing my selection to three designs, I tried on pair number one. Horizontal hcadshakes from husband, optician and lady customer awaiting her turn. Pair number two elicited the same response. On to pair number three. Through the haze I could vaguely make out three by Yvonne Reynolds heads bobbing up and down in unison. That's the pair 1 ordered. Who would dare argue with such unanimity. Shopping in the county's stores is refreshing. There are no cities in Huron, and the towns' salespeople, almost without exception, are friendly and helpful. And no wonder. Everyone knows everyone else, and if you are not neighbours, then your cousin's nephew married her brother-in-law's sister's niece. One is granted privileges unheard-of in larger centres. A store owner once packed two expensive dresses into a box so I could take them to my mother, and let her make her choice in the quiet and comfort of her home. "But you haven't enclosed a bill", 1 exclaimed in amazement. "That's okay", he replied tranquilly. "1 know where to find you." I had not been aware that he knew my name. My shopping forays are not always as successful. On a recent trip into the big city and thence to the factory outlet of a Iing.rie manufacturer, 1 had an over- powering craving for something I had never owned - a slinky, sexy nightgown. And for half the retail price. 1 spotted it at once; long black chiffon, modestly held together at the front with matching lace and delicate black velvet bows. Alas. None in my size. I came home empty-handed. (I don't count the pair of supp hose, with "tiny imperfections that should not affect wear.") Now that time had dulled my disap- pointment, 1 have become philosophical. Had 1 been able to turn my dream into reality, and emerged without warning from my flannelette chrysalis, I might now be facing the nightmare of spending the next weeks visiting my husband in the coronary unit of one of the same city's hospitals. Or, even later, and much worse, he might be visiting me. In the maternity ward. All's well that ends well. i] Yvonne Reynolds and husband [a retired CAF officer] share six rural acres with one hastily hred part Sheltie, one Himalayan aristocat, one peasant cat, and an ever-changing number of Bantie chickens and Saanen and Nubian goats. VILLAGE SQUIRE/MAY 1981 PG. 11