The Lucknow Sentinel, 1982-10-06, Page 8Gat a beef?
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Lucknow Sentinel, Wednesday, October 6, 1982—Paige .7
Old advice -is bettertho no. advicc
To the Editor:
•
Herewith a little 'tongue hi cheek'
contribution that just might, with a
little stretchof the imagination; make
someone's day.
•
Old Advice is Better than No Advice
Thereis a scandal afoot in the
advice business, Ann
Landers, whose'
newspaper column is read by m lliions-
of people' all over the world, has
admitted using old letters and handing
out old advice in her column from time
to time,
.Her sister, Abigail van Buren, of
"Dear Abby" fame, has admitted.
doing the sante thing, -
This has caused a big stink., Appar-
eptly, some people think it is wrong
to hand out ofd advice.
11ut have to side' with Ain ',Landers
and Abby on this one. There's nothing
wrong with old advice. Indeed, most of
1
Moiie's
*bean page 6
Rhertmatism and Arthritis etc. and
joined' in the welcome home for two
'local young ; men who have just
completed . a cycling tour round the
world in an effort to raise funds for the
;Third World: You may have heard ofist
theas they also cried through
ILS,A, and Canada, .
In between whiles, I cope with.
householdchores, garden, pets and
visitors; and write for Northern: Ire-
land's leading newspaper, The Belfast
News Letter, for our Royal British,
Legion magazine and Year Book and
occasionally for other journals. You'll.
see that. l don't spend too much time.
sitting with my hands .inmy lap!
So many many thanks for giving me
space in your pages and letting me say
hells to my inanq -friends out' there. 1
was 'sad about the death of MariePark's mother whish 1 met and about
Marie's own illness and accident. 1
hope she's better nowandsending in
her rebot is again. °
Myr good wishes . to all, . .
(Mrs.)' Mollie Whiteside.
'the advice worth handing out isold
advice and it deserves: to be recycled
with great regularity.
• Problem is, when you write news-
paper edam's you have an obligation
to your readers to serve up ideas that
are fresh and invigorating, ideas that
challenge the intellect and spur you:
readers on to lofty goals.
I'm sure' that your readers will
P
a p eciate
dedication � o this noble
Pr my ta tat
cause. Both of you have told me so.
That's why 1 have decided to give
Ann Landers and Abby a hind in the
advice business. With my help, they
can still keep on dishing • out old
advice. but old advice that is suitable
for modern times.
Here are some samples. ' Ann
Landers and Abby can just plug this
great advice into their columns when-
ever they need it, granted; : of course,
that 1 receive substantial payment for
my service:
* Early to bed, early to rise, makes
* The cream always rises to the top **
but you'll always wind up with `'non
dairy whitener" when you order coffee
in a restaurant
41 One rotten apple can spoil the' basket
** so let them go ahead and' ferment.
t and enjoy'the cider,.
r * A penny saved is a penny earned **
and you must trust your accountant
'to hide it from the government.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the
bush ** unless it is a pigeon, in . which
case you'll have to 'change clothes.
41A stitch in times saves nine 464 unless
your surgeon is a little • sloppy.
* The way to a man's heart is 'through.
his stomach ** especially if your
surgeon is a little sloppy.
* There's no usein crying over spilt
milk.. You can always get more with.
your food vouchers, •
* Laugh and the world laughs with
you. Cry and you cry alone. So it's
probably best to keep a straight face in
public and snicker privately among
•
man healthy, wealthy and. wise ***
mainly because , he does ,not risk the
assault of prince time teievision,
* You'can catch more flies with honey
than you can .with vinegar' ** but
perhaps you should ask yourself just
,why in- hell you want to handler the
filthy things in the. first .place:
* Every cloud has its silver lining **
but it should be remembered that gold
is much more valuable on the interns
tioeal market.
* The pen is mightier than • the sword.
Stili, can youlimagine threatening the
Russians with a bombardment of Bic
ball points?
*les the squeaky wheel that gets the
oil. The problem flies in finding an
honest mechanic who won't also try to
sell you new shock absorbers.'
*Ad that glittersis not gold. Just look
at Libera+i:e, for instance.`
friends.. '
*To err is human. That's why you just
lost your job to a computer, , . -
* Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
But forget ever . owning . your own
home. '
* You can't' squeeze blood out of a
tr, ,lip, Unless you happen to work. for
the National Revenue Department.
'r The road to hell is paved with good.
intentions. So whycan't someone at
least fix the potholes on, my street?
*Patience is a virtue. But it will •never.
help a rooster lay an egg.•
* It takes all kinds to make the world..
go 'round ** which explains why we're
spinning at such an alarmingly .dizzy
pace.
•
Sincerely,
George A. Newbold.
Drainage pays o1
with !miter soil re
'hyWait? Best. Rates
Good drainage presents unnecessarysat such
h o
compaction, sreavingand sf{ oshing eFfields
hea reduced and ckanageto sail
structure' which may tike yrs to rem '
Also, equipment which becomes bogged dawn means
cosf , timeconsurning. ' foys and often eqaensive
damage to the m hii .
Moth dra
UNID
FARM DRAINAGE SYSTEMS
DAVID ROTH •
Rip*, Ontario 619-305-5838
FRANK. LITTLE
Let us shorn you how to re -invest
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Representatives of ,
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