The Citizen, 2007-02-15, Page 13By Pastor Ernest DowLiving Water Christian Fellowship(EMC), BlythValentine’s is a good occasion toconsider what true love really is. The
Song of Songs is one of the most
passionate books in the Bible. The
Hebrew words translated ‘love’ there
show at least three different shades of
meaning.
For an analogy, love is like a
(Hershey’s) Caramel Kiss. These
delectable candies are a cross
between the usual chocolate kiss and
a Caramilk candy bar. There are
basically three parts: an outer shiny
attractive foil wrapper; then the solid
chocolate; but inside is a pocket of
liquid caramel that oozes sweet
flavour through your mouth.
Each part can be likened to an
aspect of love: the foil is like the
physical attraction; the chocolate is
like the solid unconditional support;
and the caramel reminds us of the
way love pours itself out passionately
for the other person.
The foil is shiny, pretty, eye-
catching – but doesn’t have any
nutritional value. But it’s more
interesting to look at than just the
plain brown chocolate. We can liken it
to the physical aspect of love between
couples.
But real love, Biblical love, is a lot
more than just getting someone into
bed. Physical attraction alone is not a
satisfactory basis for a lifelong
relationship.
When Solomon wrote Song of
Songs, the word translated “love” 32
times in our versions is the Hebrew
term “dod”. It comes from a root
word meaning ‘to boil’. Dod can be
translated as “carouse, to rock, to
fondle”; it’s the physical, sexual
element to a relationship. There’s a
strong connotation with touch, smell,
and taste.
Here are some verses in which dod
is used: “My lover [dod] is to me a
sachet of myrrh resting between my
breasts....Like an apple tree among
the trees of the forest is my lover
[dod] among the young men. I delight
to sit in his shade, and his fruit is
sweet to my taste...” (So 1:13; 2:3)
Very physical, sensual, pleasure
associations. Praise God for wiring us
male and female, when that’s enjoyed
with a clear conscience within the
security and exclusivity of a marriage
relationship as our Creator intended!
But sexual urges alone are not a
satisfactory basis for a lifelong
partnership. Sooner or later time takes
its toll and we are not as attractive as
in our youth. Like the foil around the
caramel kiss, dod serves to attract
your interest, but it’s not the whole
goody – not by a long shot.
A second Hebrew word, “raya”
occurs 11 times in Song of Songs. It
can mean friend, companion, soul-
mate, someone you enjoy hanging out
with. To some degree you ‘like’ or
enjoy being with this person, but it’snot yet close intimacy. Raya is a term of solid support –just as the chocolate in the kiss issolid. Song of Songs in several places
uses raya in making favourable
comparisons of the one loved: “How
beautiful you are, my darling [raya]!
Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are
doves...All beautiful you are, my
darling [raya]; there is no flaw in
you.” (So 1.15; 4.7)
What woman wouldn’t enjoy being
told she’s practically perfect!
Meaningful word-pictures capture the
imagination and are a powerful way
to communicate support, affection,
and worth to another individual.
Seventeen times in his short song,
Solomon uses a third term, ‘ahavah’
which can also be translated ‘love’.
While ‘raya’ has to do with
friendship, companionship, someone
you show solid support to, ‘ahavah’is
the love of the will; passionate,
yearning towards the other, but much
more profound than fleeting romantic
feelings or temporary urges.
Rob Bell says, “Ahava is making a
decision to join your life to the life of
another. This is an emotion that leads
to commitment.” There’s a strong
passion or desire that’s to do withmuch more than the physical; it’streasuring the other person,Song of Songs reaches its literaryclimax in 8:6-7, where ‘ahavah’
signifies the peak of love’s caring and
commitment: “Place me like a seal
over your heart, like a seal on your
arm; for love [ahavah] is as strong as
death, its jealousy unyielding as the
grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a
mighty flame. Many waters cannot
quench [ahavah]; rivers cannot wash
it away...”
Powerful words; powerful
sentiments. Love is stronger than the
forces of death. The primeval torrents
of chaos and corruption may sweep
over two ‘ahavah-ers’ but won’t
succeed in ripping them apart. That’s
how strong Christ wants to build
marriages!
In Songs 3:1-4 the woman
consumed with the passion and
commitment of ‘ahavah’runs through
the streets of town searching for her
man... won’t give up till she finds
him; won’t relinquish him once she
has him. Passion pouring itself out in
sacrifice, enduring hardship,
determined to yield comfort in order
to connect with the lover.
True love is sacrificial. The caramelin the candy loses itself to give energyand flavour to the eater, spilling itself,being punctured so it can be fullyreleased and appreciated. So, Jesus
poured Himself out for our
transgressions, so we could be
reconciled to a holy God. His self-
giving at the cross is the model for our
love to others.
Just before He was crucified, Jesus
told His followers, “My command is
this: Love each other as I have loved
you.[and added] Greater love has no
one than this, that he lay down his life
for his friends.” (Jn 15:12f)
True love – Jesus-style love – lays
its life down, spills itself for the good
of the one loved: whether that be your
spouse, your friend, your co-worker,
or that quirky neighbour across the
street.
A remarkable woman shared this
recollection of her parents’ sweet,
passionate love she witnessed in her
early years as a girl:
“My own mother used to be very
busy the whole day, but as soon asevening came, she moved very fast toget ready to meet my father. At thattime we didn’t understand; we used tolaugh; we used to tease her; but now I
remember what tremendous, delicate
love she had for him. It didn’t matter
what happened that day; she was
ready with a smile to meet him.”
If you’re a parent, you can imagine
how difficult that would be many
days; you’d be ready to pack it in,
grumble about your own troubles that
day, and just be waiting for him to
come in the door so you could finally
grab some time for yourself.
But this mother nurtured that solid
support of ‘raya’ and the passionate
pouring-out of ‘ahavah’ towards her
man. And the children’s lives were
impacted by witnessing that.
Now, who was that little girl that
remembered? Mother Teresa! Her
own life became a source of caring for
many, as she reflected Jesus’ love –
portrayed in the Bible and echoed in
her mother’s deep affection.
THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 2007. PAGE 13. From the Minister’s StudyCaramel Kisses the shape of Biblical love
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