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The Brussels Post, 1975-07-30, Page 11Sugar and Spice by Bill. Smiley Herewith' Smiley's bi-annual Summer Safe- ty Hints. Various departments of government: Agriculture, Lands and Forest,' Tourism and Tripe, Fire and , Water --annually send out a list of things to do to protect your life and various other things during the hot season. It is my opinion that these lists are not only repetitious and redundant, but over-lapping and underpinning, so once in a while I try to publish a few summer Safety Tips that can be used as filler by all lazy, hot tired editors. Even though the summer is.balf over, and thousands of people have drowned, or nearly drown ed, I think a few' swimming .sugges- tions would not come amiss. • Never forget that amiss is as good as amile. So my first tip is that if you're going to swim amile, make sure you don't go amiss. I think that requires no further explanation. Speaking of amiss, never try to make love either reclining in a canoe, °fin a reclining canoe. In the first instance, if the thing rolls over, which it usually does, you are caught in a death-clutch and will have to punch your partner in the belly to break the hold. This is• considered bad form. It is also embarrassing, not to say dangerous, if your partner is swifter with a left hook than you are. In the Second place -- a reclining canoe --.,it is obviously leaking, and you shouldn't be out there in the first place. Much better to confine your canoe love-making to a standing postion. Thep, if women's equilibriurnation seems to be taking over -- that is,' if there is any chance that you are going -to be the least bit upset, jump over-board and swim like hell for the nearest lifeguard. Now for diving. Never dive into unknown waters. Many a man you'll, meet on the streets, whimpering, limping, middle-aged, head-scarred. Ask him what the matter is, and he'll respond: 'I dived into unknoWn waters". This is his euphemism for admitting he is married. Try not to dive into a swimming pool. Use a diving pool. If you do happen to dive into a swimming pool, and it has a plastic bottom, wear a plastic helmet. If it happens to have a concrete bottom,and you are turkey enough to dive into it, you probably won't feel a thing. Never dive alone. Personally, when I dive, whether it is from 30 feet, 12 feet, four feet, or even my accustomed 18 inches, I am always accompanied by water wings, an inflated tube, and my entire family. It may not be Olympic grace and style, but I don't have a hole in my head from hitting rocks. Never take a person out over his ,or her depth, In other words; if your mother-in-law is only five feet tall and can't swim, don't take her out to where it is six feet deep. Just take her out where it 'is five feet deep, hand her. some lead weights, and tell- her to do push-ups. Enough about swimming. How about boating? Well, the same 'principles apply there. Never put more than 12 people in a 12 foot boat, six people in a six foot boat, or more than 88 people in a bar that is'bulilt for 44. This way you can not only be safe but sorry. 'If it is a sailboat, do not load it up with sailors. ;Sailors are usually drunk and disorderly, according to the police records of all the ports of the world. The same, by the way, goes for soldiers, if you happen to have a soldier-boat. If you have a power beat, of course, this is your chance to show the' world. Take any average swimmer, and a pair of water skiis. Throw both over the back of the boat. The order doesn't Matter. Shove the throttle wide open. Then show everybody what Napoleon would have been like without Waterloo. Water on the brain? Let's turn to other aspects of summer danger. Do not stamp out ;bonfires with your bare feet. In the first place, those coals are probably just fireflies going through their second incarnation, and have just as much , right to live as you have. Secondly, the smell of roasting meat is liable to bring dozens of barbecue artists from all over the neighbourhood down on you, asking what kind of .sauce you use. Pee on 'mum. The coals, that is. Another thing you should not stamp out with youi bare foot is your flowerbed, even though it taunts you, thwarts you, thumbs its nose at you and sticks its bare roots in the air at you, as mine recently did. There were two rose bushes among them, in mine. Then, of course, there are bugs. Don't spray them. 'Don't swat them. They too, are merely lower forms of consciousness trying to rise to a higher, in their next incarnation. ' I had a Buddhist monk flying around me the other.night, whining: "Do'n't hit me! Don't hit me! I was once an altar boy for St. Thomas Aquinas." , Splattt! Is he going to be surprised when he is re-incarnated as an Anglican bishop. Female. BERG Sales — Service Installation FREE ESTIMATES 9 Barn Cleaners ° Bunk Feeders ° Stabling DOnald G. Ives R.R.#2, Blyth Phone: Brussels 887-9024 •••••••••••••••., T it BRUSSELS -POST', JULY 30, i976 Bluevale WI hear Murray .Gaunt Correspondent , Mrs. Joe Walker Mrs. Robert Fraser was hostess and convener for the July meeting of the Women's Institute on Friday evening. Mrs. Wendell. Stamper, president, presided for the meeting which opened with the Mary Stewart Collect. There are a few vacant seats for the bus trip to the Erlancl Lee Homestead and other places of historical interest in the Hamilton area on August 13. Anyone wishing to go should contact Mrs. Wm. De Vos before August 6. The bus is leaving Bluevale at 7:45 a.m. The conveners of Agriculture 'arid Canadian Industries anal Education and Cultural Activites are in charge of preparing an exhibit for the Howick Fair. The Institute received an invit- ation from' the Fordwich W.I. to attend their Tweedsmuir Tea on July 22. A few more recipes are needed to complete the new Institute cook book being pub- lished. Anyone wishing to.submit a recipe, is asked to leave it at Mather's store or give it to an Institute member. ; The roll call was,, "Would you encourage your son or daughter to, stay on the farm and why?" Mrs. -J. C. Johnston gave the motto: "If it wasn't for the farmer, what would the city man do?" Mrs. Fraser introduced the guest speaker, Murray Gaunt„ who spoke on regional govern- ment and land use. A question period followed and Mrs. Ken Simmons thanked the speaker, Mr. and Mrs. Jim Dahmer, Jeffray and Julia visited last Monday with Mr. and Mrs. Alex MaeTavish. Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. Wm. de Vos who celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary on July 20th. Mrs. Edna Forbeck of Niagara Falls accompanied her daughter, Mrs. Linda Brindley, Trisha and. Kelly to spend the week-end with Mr. and. Mrs. J.J. Elliott and Wingham relatives. Mr. and Mrs. Fraser Haugh and Eileen visited on Tuesday with Mr. and Mrs. Mike Newton, Michael and Cindy of Wroxeter. The Tri-County Girls played in Brussels last Tuesday when Brits- . sels won over Bluevale 31-23. On Thursday, Bluevale won over Kurtsville 39-9. Thursday, July 31 Brussels will come to Bluevale to play. Mr. and Mrs, Dawson Craig, Whitechurch, visited Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. W.J. Peacock. Mr. and Mrs. Irvine McCabe; Windsor, were weekend visitors with Mr. and Mrs. Carl Johnston. Mr. and Mrs. James C. Johns- ton spent the weekend in Toronto visiting with Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Dobie: • The Bluevale Ladies' softball team met last Tuesday night for a very exciting evening of ball. The highlight of the game came in the fourth inning when Dale's Ding- a-lings made a triple play, which helped them, to defeat Audrey's. Oddball's 29-21. Harvey Mann of Waterloo and Mr. and Mrs. Bill Taws of Mississauga spent the weekend with Mrs. Ross Mann. - A small amount of Canada's commercial timber, about three per cent, grows north of the 60th parallel. JOHNSTON-MACNEIL Marriage vows were exchanged by Theresa Macneil of London nd Dr. Terry R. Johnston of Seaforth amid a setting of mixed summer flowers in Our Lady of Czestochowa Church, London, on Saturday June 14 at four O'clock. Officiating at the ceremony was Father Peter and special music was supplied by a trio who sang folk selections to guitar accomo- animent. The bride is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. D. Lapkowski of London. Parents of the groom are Mr. and Mrs. Carl Johnston, R.R. 2, Bluevale. Given in marriage by her lather, the bride wore a floor length gown of white chiffon, styled with V neckline and short full s: leeves. Her short veil was held by a three-pointed cap styled headdress and she carried a bouquet of red Sweetheart roses and baby's breath. Mrs. Anne Dunn, cousin, of the bride, of London, was matron of honour. She wore a floor bength gown of baby blue flowered polyester, styled with V neckline and short full sleeves. In peach flowered polyester were brideS- makis, Mrs. Mary Walker of LOadoti and Miss Joan Bennett of WhIgham, while bridesmaidS Jo-Atili East of LOitidon -and Mrs. Pat Shotbotterh of R.R. Dor h t ' .1" c es er, wore soft green uow et polyester. All senior attendants carried bouquets of daisies. bath y MeGavin of WA ton 4)unior bridesmaid and flovVer rl was Oorma JOhnSton R.R. 2 Bluevale. They wore gowns tar to that of the matron of honour and carried baskets of daisies. Keith Johnston of R.R. 2, Blutevale, was his brothers' best man and guests were ushered by Dr. Ken Lesley of R.R. 1, Georgetown, Doug Carter of Bluevale, Lloyd Peacock of Ham- ilton and Dr. Jack McCall of Seaforth. Peter Lapkowski of London was junior usher and ring bearer was Paul Lapkovvski of London: Dinner and a reception follow- ed at 6:30 in the Polish Hall, London. The brides' mother wore a floor length gown of soft blue floral material in a sleeveless style with matching chiffon over- coat. Her corsage was white miniature mums and pink minia- ture roses. The groom's mother chose a floorlength gown of deep - pink polyester knit with a match- ing knit stole. Her corsage was also white mums and pink roses, FOr honeymooning to Nassau, the bride chose a summery sundress in a dusty blue back- ground with cream coloured flowers. Her accessories were cream and she wore a corsage of daisies and pink miniature roses. They will reside in Seaforth, Guests travelled to the wedding froni Wingham and Bluevale area, Seaforth and Clinton area, Georgetown, Alberta and Prince Edward Island: The groom is a graduate of tiie Ontario Veterinary College. The bride was employed by• the Dundon Free Press prior to het marriage.