The Brussels Post, 1974-02-13, Page 2Me
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Sugar and Spice
By Bill Smiley
Women, as any man can tell you, are a
mixed blessing. And every women is' a
different mix.
Some• are like beer. They slake your
thirst, but make you feel a bit logey, and
you wind up with a headache. Others are
like an 8 to 1 niartini: cold, very dry, and
they hit you right between the eyes.
This is an interesting metaphor, but I
think I'll pursue it some other day. Like
when Women's Lib has crumbled back into
a cringing sounding-board for male egos.
Don't hold your breath waiting for that
column.
Anyway, there I was, living the happy,
blissfully peaceful, sordid life of a guy who
is batching it. Newspapers all over the
floor, ash-trays looking like Mount
Vesuvius, dishes in the sink• piled so high I
couldn't see the taps. Cosy, like.
My wife seemed to be so fascinated by
her grandson that I thought this idyllic
existence might go on for months. I'd make
a duty call everysecond night or-so, and, as
a matter of course, ask her if she missed
me. "No", she'd reply cheerfully.
One night I got carried away, and told
her that I missed her. Ah, fatal error. "You
do?", she chirruped.
"Yeah. Well, you know. It's not the
same without you," thinking of the facts: a
pile of soiled socks; down to my last shirt,
the one with the peekaboo look where the
seams, are ripped; nothing but TV (ecccch!)
dinners for the last four days.
She took another, romantic meaning,
and it didn't help when I' added, in jest,
"Yep, and I'm sick of that big, strapping
blonde I had to hire to do the housework.'
Maybe she's only 28, but I think that
bosom of hers is practically obscene. She
should be in burlesque."
My wife was home on the next bus. It
didn't seem to help her normally furious
disposition that I was out culling when she
arrived.
She was completely unsympathetic when
I got home at midnight and explained the
hour by telling her that I'd had to go
through the usual exchange of chewing
gum, inanities and recipes for cheap wine
that we male curlers have to put up with
after each game.
She was reading a book when I came in
Dangerous sign. "Hello, Bill", without
looking up. Icicles. Proffered kiss was
offered a forehead. Then the dam broke.
The deluge began as a low, penetrating
monotone, and built up into something
closely akin 'to a fire siren.
' "How can you be so filthy?" This was
`the theme of the ensuing monologue,
during which your faithful servant stood'
around with rosebud mouth and baby blue
eyes agape, an innocent and a broad.
Now, look. There wasn't a dirty dish in
sight (though she did find some in the
cellar-way.) I'd run the carpet sweeper
over a couple of dirty-grey spots on the
rug. I have no sense of smell, so how could
1 know that, the whole joint smelled like a
cat-house? I hadn't made the bed for three
weeks, but, hell, We changed our sheets
..only once a month in prison camp. So,
O.K., her plants were dead, but who can
think of watering plants when his mind is
filled with anguish of the human race and
whether or not the Leafs are going to make
the playoffs?.
What am I supposed to do, just because
her feet go "Squish, squish", when she
walks around the kitchen floor? It never
bothered me. I wore my toe-rubbers.
Dust? What dust?as she writes her name
on the coffee table.
Beer bottles? What beer bottles?
They're all down the cellar except those
three on the counter.
I was pretty hurt and disappointed, I can
tell you. I had sweated and slaved and torn
my guts out for at least twenty minutes,
gprucing up the place so she wouldn't have
a mess to come home to.
I didn't make that mess behind the
downstairs toilet and then pull the toilet-lid
cover down to hide it. The cat did.
I didn't break that saucer in her favorite
coffee set. The cat did.
I didn't put that burning hole in the rug.
It was the cat'. He was smoking a cigar-butt
, he'd picked up on the street.
My wife is the type who has the kitchen
floor so clean you can eat off it. So, who
wants to eat off the kitchen. floor?
•
To, the editor
Citizens of Brussels:
As people interested in main-
taining the character of the small
-villages of rural Ontario, we
found John Rutledge's letter
(Jan. 30 issue) worthy of
attention.. It is a fact that villages
such as ours are either dying out
or are being 'transformed into
quaint anomalies by city people
who have no roots in the' area. As
illustrations of this point, We 'Offer
Bayfield and Elora. The alterna-
tive to creating such a contrived
atmosphere lies in a concentL
rated ; united effort from within,
to preserve Brussels as it was and
I. We feel that John Rutledge's
ideas reveal such an attempt and
as such, deserve consideration.
Citizens of Brussels; it is your
choice. Is Brussels going to live
lip to its boast as "Ontario's
prettiest village" or will it
become one More worn-out .
reminder of the past?
\tonne MeCtitch eon
David Brister
Brussels Post
411111M
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1974
BRUSSELS
ONTARIO
)
Serving Brussels and the surrounding community.
Pidlished each Wednesday afternoon at Brussels, Ontario
by McLean Bros.Publishers, Limited.
Evelyn Kennedy - Editor Tom Haley - Advertising
,:Member Canadian Community Newspaper Association and
' Ontario Weekly Newspaper Association.
Subscriptions (in advance) Canadar$6.00,a year, Others
$8.00 a year, Single Copies 15 cents each.
Second class mail Registration No. 0562.
Telephone,887-6641.
The travelling salesman
Around here people are indoors during the winter
more than any other time of year. Farmers can't get
out on the land because it's frozen (it wasn't until
recently, but it is now).
That's probably why at this time of year, every
year, a particular type of travelling salesmen come
out of the cities (or wherever they headquarter) and
head for the small towns and concessions. They know
• they'll have a relatively captive audience stuck at
home during winter days and nights. They move into
a rural territory, headquarter in a small town and
push like crazy to make sales.
A man, we know in Nile Township was visited last
week by two insistent life insurance salesmen for an
American Company. They used an old con trick -
telling the local man that his neighbours had all
taken 'out insurance with their company.
."Yup, we sold Joe Blow down the road a policy
and he asked us to call on you and offer' you the same
good deal".
The farmer we talked to in Nile asked to see a
copy of the contract, which would obligate him to
$18.60 'a month in payments for life insurance. No
dice, the salesmen refused.
He also said that if he did buy he'd like more
coverage than the $10,000 policy they were pushing.
Again the salesmen weren't interested. They also
refused to let the man read the insurance policy and
wouldn't really discuss the details of coverage.
Instead the salesmen spouted terrible warnings
about the fate of those without life insurance and
kept bugging the man to sign.
Our friend, who spent.over an hour listening, said
he'd think about it and asked them to leave a copy of
the policy and come back in a few days.
"This is your one and only chance" said the
salesmen, again putting on pressure instead of
giving the straight facts about their policy. This
farmer later asked a doctor he knew about this
insurance company. The Dr. said he'd found them
very hard to deal with in his medical practise. "They
always wanted much more in the way of proof about
an injury than any other insurance company", the
doctor said.
Well, our friend got rid of the life insurance
salesmen, but quite likely some of his neighbours
gave in to their pushy sales pitch.
The product these pushy people are insisting you
buy from life insurance to encyclopedias, isn't really
important. The salesman doesn't even want to talk
about it.
What these fast-buck artists are selling is a way
to improve your image of yourself. — You'll
suddenly be safer and keep up with the neighbours if
you buy insurance. You'll be instantly
knowledgeable and will stop denying your children if
you buy a set of encyclopedia.
It just ain't that simple. Beware of the groups of
salesmen that parachute in to a small area — fan out
over a section of the country, sell all the people they
can in a week or so then move on to another county
and other suckers and are never heard from again.
Consult Consumer Reports - a yearly buying
guide With unbiased advice based on scientific
testing and analysis which is available at any library,
before buying insurance or anything eke. Any
salesman who won't let you read a contract Or test his
goody should be laughed out of your house.
Most 'important, buy from local people — not only
do you know there' and the manner in which they
serve your community but even more important!
you'll know where to find them if anything goes
Wrong.