The Brussels Post, 1974-01-02, Page 2Sugar and Spice
By Bill Smiley
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Icy frees
Reading newspapers is an addiction with
some people. If the paper-boy is late, they
start 'to fret and grow owly. If, for some
reason, he doesn't show up at all, they are
like a tiger with a sore tooth.
This applies to readers of weeklies as
well as dailies, Weekly newspaper readers
are a mild and gentle lot, on the :surface.
But when their paper doesn't arrive on
time, they turn into roaring lions or
lionesses, as the case may be. Any weekly
editor will back me up on this.
When I was a weekly editor, I regularly
received ferocious letters from dear old
ladies stating flatly that the paper wasn't
worth three cents a week but ,since they
had paid for a year, I'd darn well better see
that it was delivered on time.
I know how they feel. I'm one of thOse
addicts mentioned in my opening
paragraph. I take two daily papers and half
a dozen weeklies. If even one of them
doesn't arrive on time, I'm not fit to live
with.
The only time I can get along without my
papers is when I'm camping in the wilds.
Even then, the first morning or two, I'm
greatly tempted to leap Into the car and
drive thirty miles to buy a paper. It takes
me a couple of days to • "dry out".
It's not that there • is anything
particularly important in the paper. The
front page of the dailies is junk and can be
scanned in three minutes. Then I jump to
the editorial page, which is only about 90
per cent junk.
Then I read a couple of columns, leap to
the entertainment critics, scan the sports
page and it's all over. I ignore the financial
section and the women's pages, which I
think are an insult to women.
In half an hour, I've skimmed several
thousand words, and am no better off or
happier than when I began. Stupid, isn't
it?
But you might as well try to tell an
alcoholic that drinking is stupid. He'll
agree, and as soon as your back is turned,
have a couple of stiff ones to steady his
nerves.
A readoholic, too, will agree that he
doesn't need, that morning pick-me-up.
And the moment your back is turned, he's
peering out the window for the paperboy,
twitching in every nerve, Or he's got his
head in the garbage pail, absorbed in a
story in the newspaper the garbage is
wraped in,
I've tried to get the monkey oft my back.
First step was to shut my eyes while
brushing my teeth, This meant 1 would not
bereaditigklie directions on the toothpaste
tube, in French and English, during the
operation, I lasted two days before I was
sneaking: peeks,
Last summer, in England, I thought I
might kick the habit. After. all, I wasn't
interested in Britain's disasters and
di'vorces and football pools, which took up
most of the space. I wouldn't read a single
paper.
First morning, having breakfast in bed, I
felt as helpless and frustrated• as a man
who has just lost both arms. Second
morning, and thereafter, I sneaked down to
the lobby before breakfast arrived, bought
an armful of papers, Went back to the room
and lay there reading piggily, happy as a
boozer in a barrel of bingo.
Reading weeklies is a different matter.
You not only read the front page more
slowly, but with greater interest. There are
names of old friends, their children's
marriages,deaths that shock. 'I here's also a
pretty good running account of what's
happening in the old home town. No
.sensationalism. Happy little stories.People
helping people.
Inside the paper, the classifieds make
good reading. That's because you know
half the people who are seeing a lot or
buying a baby carriage or advertising that
they will no longer be responsible for their
wife's debts.
And then there's the writing of the
country correspondents. Some of it is
priceless and personal.
Here's an item my brother sent me, and
I'd like to share it. It appeared in the
Madoc Review, in the 50 Years Ago
column:
"Rev. Bundock, of the Apostolic Church,
was tendered a warm, though not
unexpected, reception on Tuesday
evening, when several citizens of the town
and district waited on him at the close of
evening service with cars and treated him
to a drive in the country, landing finally at
Anderson's Island, where they treated him
to still further generosity by making a
slight addition to his toilet in the way of tar
and feathers, This demonstration of
affection was accompanied by a 'Very
earnest requeSt that he continue his
journey, making tracks with the heels
toward Stirling or a still, greater display of
feeling would be manifested by all present.
"My Bundock could hardly claim to be
taken by surprise as he had been warned of
what might happen to him and in fact on
Friday evening of last week some little
attempt was made to carry Out this same
program, but the generous use of firearms
prevented the affair being pulled Off.
"My 8undock has been in Stirling for a
Couple of years and claimed to be a ,faith
healer."
Now, there IS the kind of style, elegant
but incisive, that you'll never Mid in a daily
paper,
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 2, 1974
Serving Brussels and ttie surrounding community
published each Wednesday afternoon, at Brussels, Ontario
by McLean Bros. Publishers, Limited.
Evelyn Kennedy - Editor Tom Haley - Advertising
Member Canadian Community Newspaper Association and
Ontario Weekly Newspaper Association.
Subscriptions (in advance) Canada $4.00 a year, Others
$5.00 a year, Single Copies 10 cents each.
Second class mail Registration No. 0562.
Telephone 887-6641.
Daily newspapers have recently chronicled a
sharp decline in the trade-in value of the luxury or
large size used car in the U.S. With gas stations
closed entirely one day per week, and a 50 mile per
hour speed limit being proposed it's little wonder
that America's love affair with the big car - - - the
monster that gets as little as eight miles to the gallon
- - - appears to be over.
Sales of new "big" cars have also dropped.
General Motors is laying off a number of its
employees in Michigan for several weeks, starting
before Christmas. There is no doubt that people are
buying smaller cars because they use fuel more
efficiently. But those who are worried about auto
safety usually quote the old maxim that large cars
offer more protection in a crash.
As we face continuing shortages and become
concerned about parking lots proliferating in cities
and good farm land being used for more highways,
we are probably going to get used to driving smaller
cars. In a recent editorial, the Toronto Star discusses
the small car and safety and concludes that the trend
toward smaller cars will eventually make our roads
safer than they are now.
The Star's argument follows:
"A U.S. study, by no means the first on the
subject, has shown that occupants of small cars are
more likely to be injured or killed in the.event of an
accident than those in big cars.
There's no reason to doubt the statistical
evidence, even though the study waS conducted at
the University of Michigan (in a state that also
happens to be the home of the big U.S. auto
industry), and even though it was first made public
at a seminar sponsored by General Motors Corp.,
even though it was recently quoted with approbation
by two Chrysler executives.
In fact, the findings shouldn't surprise anyone.
There's little doubt that the occupants of a
Volkswagen would come out second best in a clash
with a Cadillac. It's also not hard to imagine who
would fare better in a collision between a Cadillac
and a Greyhound bus.
Thei real flaw in the study is that it looks at only one
side of the coin. Another recent study, this by the
New York state department of motor vehicles, looked
at both sides. And, while it concurred in the
conclusion that accidents prove much more severe
for small cars, the small cars are much less likely to
become involved in accidents in the first place. To
take a popular example, Volkswagen shoWed the
highest severity rate, but the lowest incidence.
The Michigan study does make one interesting
point: the likelihood of injury or death is the same in
a small-car-to-small-car collision as it is in a crash
involving two big cars. That, taken with the New
York state finding, leads irresistibly to the conclusion
that there would be fewer accidents, with no change
in severity, if everyone drove a small car.
And that's only a safety argument. Small cars
pollute less, consume less energy, need less parking
space, and are cheaper both in the initial outlay and
in subsequent mainenance. In view of all of which,
the 'North American auto industry would do well tos
meet the small car competition head-on-so to speak-
rather than try to discredit it by using selective
statistics and one-sided studies."
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The small car