The Huron Signal, 1881-05-06, Page 7some Am•asas nears es.
We do not know whether the recipi-
ent et the following letter felt amused
sic enraged o11 reading it. It was writ-
ten by a Buskinghamahire fainter to a
distinguished scientific agriculturist, to
whom he felt under obligation for intro
during • Twisty of swine: "Respected
fair, --I went yesterday to the fair at
A—. I found several pigs of your
species. There was a great variety et
beets; and I was greatly astonished 4
sit seeing you there." We must lints
in• this to have been written u, an off-
hand manner, and without touch con-
sideratiort; u also another, an illite-
rate farmer, a ishins to enter some ani-
mals at an agricultural exhibition, when
he wrote as follows to the secretary ot
the so:i•ty: '=ate- me also for a
jackass. 1 have no doubt whatever of
gaining a per"
A very slight stretch of imagination is
required to depict the amazement of that
inquisitive old gentleman, of • botanical
turn of mind, who inquired of the gar-
dener in one of the public places of pro-
menade: "Pray, sly good lean, can you
inform me if this particular plant belongs
to the 'Arbutus' family 7" When he re-
ceived for reply: "No, sir; it doon't; it
belongs to the Corpcnation !" This
awe remark applies to that ambitious
young lady, who was talking very earn -
featly about her favorite authors, when
one of the company inquired if she liked
Lamb. With an indignant tom of the
head, she answered, that she "cared very
little about what she ate, compared with
knowledge." Doubtless the party who
put the question felt more amused by
the answer than the parish priest did,
who, observing an Irish girl at play on •
Sunday, accosted her with: "Good -morn-
ing, daughter of the Evil One," when
she meekly replied: "G,sad-morning,
father."
Many an amusing mistake haw been
made by people hard of hearing We
are told that a certain Dean uf Ely was
once at a dinner, when just as the cloth
was renewed, the subject of discourse
happened to be that of extraordinary
mortality among lawyers. "We hare
lost," said s gentleman, "not less than
seven eminent barristers in as many
months." The Dean. who was very
deaf, rose just at the conclusion of these
remarks, and gave the company grace:
"For this and every other mercy, make
us devoutly thankful" On another
THE HURON SIGNAL. .FRIDAY, MAY 6s. 18S1.
hsasee ireseses.
Shirred draperies ere in groat favor.
The new shade of red is called Oil
Blas.
New toilets of grecadme for the sum-
mer ars, literally leaded with frills, cas-
cades, revers, and plastrons of !ip•tuah
Lau.
New middies for ladies are of satin
inervi !out, edged with lace and embroid-
ered with oaths, lobsters, and groups of
tiny mice.
It is quite refreshing to see a silk gar-
ment
arment without a load of jot lace, fringe,
and heal work. Jet garndere hsabecome
decidedly common.
The Luxe rullill linen collars, w nth a
border utcolored linen, are veru st, lien
for m rniog wear and travelling They
allow a must graceful tie to the cra-
vat.
The Spanish lace bo ,:feta are very
pretty and simple. The/ have some-
thing the look uf a well a-ranggel Spanish
veil suppplemented by aig:Aceful bat lav-
ish display of flowers.
Side pouches and chatelaine bags for
summer use are very dainty affairs, and
are made of tinted satin, hand -painted in
delicate sprays of flowers dead trimmed
with flutings of lace.
Sacques are made longer and single-
breasted this spring. tJue advantage
greater length gives, it allows a lunger
tail to the basqu., which, in the Most
styliah coat barques, is an important fea-
ture.
It is very fashionable for young ladies
to part off the entire front of the hair
from temple to temple, then cut it short
enough to arrange in soft, loess, curling
rings of Bernhardt waves about the fore-
head.
The tunic jacket of foulard surah. wits
lace jabot and flowing sleeves, will be
much worn in the morning at summer re-
sorts, over round skirts made plain silk,
with narrow late plaiting' around the
bottom.
Elbow sleeves will continue through
the spring and suminer months, not only
for evening but for afternoon dress. With
out door toilets very long gloves will be
wont with them, edged at the tops with
lace ruffles.
For common spring wear the rough
straw bonnets, in black, cream, and
white, or in browns, blue, and greens, to
match the suits, promise to be the
favorites. Two yards and a half of broad
ribbon, will trim such a bonnet. A
bow oa the top of the crown, and the
rest descending along the sides for
strings, formes the chief part of its trim -
wing.
Spun silk is a late revival; it is soft,
and at the same time strong. For dith-
ering and t,'auging, which is so much used
for trimming, it is very suitable on ac-
count of its pliability. Three who pre-
fer silk to linen underclothing will tind
light spun silk verydesirable,as it washes
well. It is now as popular as surah for
occasion, at a militory dinner in Ireland, garments of this deecnptiou• on the postal cars. This rule, however
Dainty Roman sandals are trade ,of does notap 1 to a "duck" of a bonnet.
the following was on the toast -list: "May white and tinted satin, with rich white Sp y
--{Pecks un
Wolfe of Wisdom.
Aim at Perfection in everythhtg though
in most thugs it is unattainable; how-
ever, they who aim at ii and per.mvere
will ousae much roarer to it than those
whose kinins' and despondency make
them give it up as unattainable.
The earth is now traversed by sslf-
denyin missiooariss, who encounter
•very hardship to wry Christianity to
remote regions. Bat where is the infi-
del who bas exiled himself from his
country to civilize savage tribes! Nut
one is to be found. They sit at hew,
nursing their pride, and cherishing the
virtue they cannot equal.
Uovsanttnr Unarm - Senator
Trumbull, of Illinois, ono. said to •
young lawyer who wee to him with an
application to be appointed to • place
in the government: -"I presume y. a
can have the place; but bion I Wee •
step in that direction I feel like giving
you one word of counsel If you take
office in Washington you will ruin your
whole life. You will never know how
to live without office afterward, and no
office can surruuud • man with the for-
tune of'a gentleman."
Woes Flag, THEW PLAY. -A man
who is very rich now was very poor when
he was • boy. When asked how he got
his riches, he replied: "My father taught
me never to spend money till I had earn-
ed it. If I had but half -an -hour's work
to do in a day,I mist do that the first
thing, and in half an hour. After this
was done I was allowed to play. I early
formed the habit of doing everything in
its time, and it soon became perfectly
easy to do so. -it is to this habit that I
uuw owe my prosperity.
Peet *e�ea.�.
"Timm Au. too tr.. --7o beautify the
teeth wad give fragraaos w the breath
oM "TeSherty' the now toilet gen,. Get
0 sent sample. 1763
Tyle Greet dnweriain
COUGHS, COLDS, BBT
BRONCHITIS, LOBS OF
VOICE HOARSENESS AND
THROAT AFFECTIO71
tau
rad `
eeem
sparyw�ia neerAul
sale
Isere am
ha* hosed
el the w
/s ea .
1pr..so
sad I.
Nana 1a
oases of
Lase D4
: 4 rawa
tip,.: as
r e■.d
• r s.s•
les
It u earnestly requested that lovers
writing to their girls will please confine
their gushing rhapsodies to the inside of
envelopes only.
Parties are earnestly requested not to
send postal cards with money orders in-
closed, as large sums are frequently lost
in that way.
Nitro-glycerine must be forwarded at
the risk of the sender. If it should blow
up in the Postmaster's hands he cannot
be held responsible.
When watches are sent through the
mails, if the sender will put a notice on
the outside the post master will wind up
and keep them in running order.
When eggs are sent through the mails
and chickens are hatched on the journey
the chickens became the property of the
Government, if it is a Conservative one.
When letters are received bearing no
direction, they for whom they are in-
t nded will please signify the fact to the
Yostmaster that he may forwe d it at
once.
Ducks cannot be sent through the
nails when alive. Their quacking
would disturb the slumbers of the clerk
the man who has lost one eye in the lace apps iques drawn smoothly over them.
of his beloved country' These are wom with bridal toilets. A
never see distress with the other."
seta
glori, us se
novel pair of slippers worn by a young
lady at a masquerade party lately was
formed if the softest white kid, lined
with pink satin. Upon the insteps were
placed the heads of two little white kit-
tens. The latest slippers for evening
the person whose duty it was to read the
toast accidentally omitted the im-
portant word "distress," which com-
pletely changed the sentiment, and caus-
ed no end of merriment by the blunder.
Another instance may be quoted, if
only to show how careful„psopll should
be in expressing themselves on public
occuioni A church in South London
had been erected, when a dinner was
given, at the conclusion of which the
health of the builder was proposed, when
he rather enigmatically replied that he
was "more fitted for the scaffold than for
public speaking."
On the other hand, some mistakes, al-
though amusing, are not altogether com-
plimentary. Few, for instance, would
care to endorse an observation which fell
from the lips of a gentleman, after gaz-
ing some time at the skeleton of a don-
key, and admiring and wondering at the
structure of that despised animal
said he,- "we are fearfujly and wonder-
fully made." Equally as good was that
d At greenhorn who at a menagerie was
patiieelarly interested in a baboon.
Several persons were present, one of
whom expressed the opinion that it was
a lower order of the human species
This so nettled the oountrymafl, that he
immediately exclaimed: "Pooh, pooh !
he's no more human species than.we
k
wear are made of black velvet with buc -
les of old paste or cut steel.
Short sk irta for the spring are not
changed an shape, and are trimmed with
plush, velvet, satin rouleau:, shell sha.-
ed plaiting, and the inevitabla knife or
box-pleatings made of the dress material
and put nn in various ways. One model
for a dress skirt is to put a wide band
of plush around the bottom of the skirt,
the arranging the trimming to sweep
down from the belt, and simulate an
"eagles wing" tunic. Over this trim-
ming is placed areal tunic. forming sharp
points, with the plush trimming follow-
ing its outlines, giving the appearance of
a double ovit-dress. The bodice $is cut
in sharp points to match the design of
the shirt.
The late Lord Lansdowne 'use to re-
late that wben,after Turner the painter's
death, be *ant to the artist's house on
a fuggy morning, in the hope of • peep
of his reserved works, the old woman in
charge, looking up through the ares rail-
ing., took him for the cat's meat man,
and bawling up told him he "needn't
come slain, u the cat had died the day
before. -(Chamber's Journal.
aus-
The audit books of the late County
Treasurer of Leeds and Grenville is still
going on. The amount so far foots up
about $12,008.
Burdock Blood Bitters a the hest
Blood Purifier, Busy and Kidney Rego
and Seetowtive Temic in the
buten. It sets epntt the fiver. the Kid
nays and the Bowels, curing all manner
of Bilious eompWate, Kidney complaints
old diseases ofthe Blood. Ask you
int for Burdock Blood Bitters.
bottle* 10 Denis, regular sire
�petiCOCOA. -0
law 6.elA
The ham at C a.reh.
Mollie had a little ram, fleece black as
rubber shoe, and everywhere that Mollie
went he emigrated to.
He went with her to church one day -
the folks hi -la -nous grew, to see him
walk demurely into Deacon Allen's
pew!
The worthy deacon quickly let his an-
gry passions rise, and gave it an unchris-
tian kink between the sad brown eyes.
This landed ra:nmy in the aisle; the
deacon followed fast, and raised his
foot again. but ah! that first kick was his
last!
For Mr. Sheep walked slowly back
about a rod, 'tis said, and ere the
deacon could retreat. it stood him on his
head.
The congregation then arose and went
for that 'ere sheep; but several well di-
rected butts just piled them in a heap.
Then rushed they straightway for the
door with moves long and loud, while
rammy struck the hindmost man and
,hot, him through the crowd.
The minister had often heard that
kindness world subdue the istcest
boast ---"Ah!" then he says, "Ill try
that game on you"'
And so he kindly, gently called,
"Come rummy, rammy, tam; to see the
folks abuse you so, i grieved and sorry
tour'
With kind and gentle words he flame
min that tall pelpit down, saying Ram -
,my, rummy, ram; ram, rammy, rammy,
rammy, ram --bast eheepr in the town.
The ram looked mask, and on be
some, with Tammy, rammy, ram; ram,
ninety, rammy, rummy, ream; niee pretty
Chief Griffiths, of Brantford, fully be-
lieves, in spite of the facts that the body
was found in the Grand River, that J.
B. Sage was in Michigan tvhen he was
looking for him.
GRAY'S
SYRUP
w
RED
�"� SPRUCE stir a. >t aoarstwa
order Ko▪ os Q.aw�t�t�•
to drink tramp
from
GUM. r6 �a �a as
Sprites
ba
ba ss
Pro
era pre -
Mu yr.
esrs-
r ra-
/irsrai aet a
tow res
.w fit
e,.y lore
a
togaasrt(ow,
Its rernarkabSe power in relieving
certain forme of Bronchitis, urrul i'.•
abreast specificeet in curing el-
*finate hacking Cooug/ts, is nine ireS
knouua to the public at large.
Sold bis rr:i re peet.bie des4ta 'A1er.:s sea..
O3 ea ass a hom&
The awed. " Syrup_ at AA Grea '• r+'a'!
rw:44 our agrtet�vi 7r.ut. lac?, sod w.' .rnry y..r
.s.lf abl. are uio rtPM.errd.
HERR i ; WA TSOY d CO..
iravinsas u. %.. r}.
Sots Proprietor,
.t"...' •'ars,
yrs roar
Nature, after all, is the great physi-
cian. ° She hides all the secrets of health
within her broad, generous bosom, and
man needs hut too to her intelligently
for his every need. The discovery of
the great Cough Remedy, GRAY'a Seams
OT RED SPRUCE GCM, is an apt illustra-
tion of this. As a cure for Coughs,
Colds, Loss of Voice and Hoarseness it
stands unrivalled, while its low price and
readiness of access places it within the
reach of all. Try it and be convinced.
All chemists keep it in 25 end 50 -cent
bottles. - ad
ANCHOR LINE.
The People's Drug Store.
owing to failing health 1 have disposed of the good will of my hominess to MR. 050RO
RH Y N AS, and would reoosatead him to the public for [Cris intrusions.
r .trend
GEO. OATTLE.
11. reyurd to the above l would awwow•c'e to the people of (h,denal and vicinity dust
I have vow! out aDrOg Business in the corner u Bloke's Block near the
market, and hope perchosied afresh ,tuck of Pure Drugs and Chemioais, and by
careful attention to business will endeavor to merit your patronage.
Yuur ub'dt servant,
CPEO_ RH YNAS_
A FULL LIME OY
PATENT MEDICINES, PERFUMERY, TOBACCOES, CIGARS, &C.
ALWAYS ON RANI,.
Physician's Prescriptions Carefully Prepared.
AT THE OLD bT AND.
D. C. STRACI3gN
118 REMOVED Ela
cEaOCERY BUSINESS
To the old stand In the Albion Block. formerly occupied by him, where he will be pleased
to welcome all his old customers and the public generally. A large Quantity of
UNITED STATES MAIL STEAMERS
Sall every Saturday.
NEW YORK TO GLASGOW
CABINS, SM to SM. STEERAGE $?*
These Steamers do not carry cattle. 'beep nrPies
NEW YORK TO LONDON DiRECT.
CABINS Sat to Sen Excursion at Reduced
Rates.
Passenger accommodations are unsurpassed.
All Staterooms on Main Deck.
Passengers booked at lowest rates to or from
any Radroad Station in Europe or America.
Dohs at lowest rater. payable IAre of charge. )
throughout England. Scotland and Ireland.
For books of Information. plans. eke. apply
to HaiER
mDEwiON BROTHS. 7 BOWL'S ? REEN,
N. Y.
Or to MRS. E. WARNt CK. Albion Block,
1751 Agent at Godertch
Record of the LYMAN Barb.
STEFt'LAwn� i1 :* p
a
with
*ski?
sVIP •
�aatlhere ti
• • C • Ise r IMHMij
Berm '.5"
r wfe prnt.erty v e rishert Mw,e
yrs rtrn (erne.. P•OK,
o ly ie Earam an>
ess
miefie
Obe I oodo fete* rC tit
1vM. 1 enation. lige a Acne faak.e• Or
s C"bo e it. Engenv ter atterse•e esa
. ",s V none a►'at
sin.
The ram quite dropped his humble,
ir, and rose from off Iles feet. and when
be parson lit holey beneath the hied -
wet vat.
Ash* shot oat the :Ten .n door. and
ahead it with • shun. his elegies word
was not • 'nm-edietion on the Teat►
e
6
FIRST"PRIZES AWARDED" THE
I..YM
Four -Barb Wire Fencing
at
MONTREAL Q t' E.
HAMILTON ONT.
CINCINNAOH10.
SYRACI.HIL . Y.
DAVENPORT. IOWA.
Poo
Ths
Ae
rnk
sate
11
:haul
8, dl.asse
Pare•taad Beat II•dle:ne over Sade.
int of Hops, Euehu. Ma
and L ande:ion,t•'.!sit ase best
ora L.e prv;.cAirs of L.1 otter L.tte
ere•:♦..t E:cod Purtt:cr, Lae
sod rife mai Health '
..rt1
an palmibty leer iris where
varied and perfect aro
7314 gas area
To ss. wan* •
y *ob..
IL:re as Appeasing.
Hop LnIU...n ase to
1 Anoa.
,-.lrersiisssyst oo•r
y feel bad or astserabls
it soy save your I/fe.it baa
$DOO wm Mood tors
n cello ``Do aid( wirer
killObireri
intakes .ortr.:_t, brat tLe rarest
a. ,iterate ever mode the *Minims
sad cors' sad ro p. son or snare
.base 1. wahoosthem.
pD t.0. r ase aasnew ear 1reaswhra ea,*
for .,soak=.+, t -e of a. -a. tobacco and
,tam5te• alt livid iso dr.gtr1'.o amid
for ci,,rlar. sop Oaten Of,. C...
au.3.reer,N.Y and tomato, cot
yer
oeaweL we 1 . .
wee.," organs, or who
1,ai ' and end
wide, without Into
ois, •r rim
rent is we Hop
no .deli bat 11
awe them at oats
a.ve.1 bundevda
•e tbey .1n
or baryons
w use Hop s
vii:.• r. 1 ref
nada
LO\ELL' S
Province of Ontario Directory
NEW, FRESH GROCERIES
Ai
CHE.4P AS THE CHEAPEST.
D. C_ STRACHAN.
I HAVE BOUGHT THE
RDWARE STOCK.
MR. D- FERGU8ON
—Ar 1--
VERY GREAT DISCOUNT!
'01:2.1881-1882.-
TO
OR1881-188l_TO RF Pi'iBLISHED IN NOVEMBER 1881.
Peke t.5.0u.
\, Iro lall of said Stock, as well aa, my own original -iu wee bought before toe Ad%sue
et hardware. i am therefore, i i a position to - „ , Irvup. , thou ally of her
Mouse la the fount,.
MY STOCK Ol''
Famis' Builders' c �eueral KiirdWait 'IS (010160,
which I want w run oRgni.'::>.
MP.. IOVbLL. at the request of several
Men •hants and others of the Province of
Ontario of the City of Montreal. R"„ begs to
announce that his firm will publish a PRO-
VINCE. OF ONTARIO DUI Et TORY. lit No-
vember nett, containing an
EXHIBITIONS.
NICE LLIQQi s ad 11127112.10 11.17^1
Over ell Compel dors
AlphibeticiI Directory
AND A THOROUGH
Classified Business Director;
COME AND DVT AT MICE PRICES A5 WILL 1'LLh,"-eT. YOU.
Fresh Ground Water Lime in Stook.
AGENT FOR, BEST°STEEL BARB FENCE WIRE.
R_ W_ 1vr0 E NZIE
1751-1m.
of the Business and Professional men in the
Cities, Towns, ao4{ Villages of Ontario, with a
Classified Business Directory
or rue.
CITY OF MONTREAL.
The name rare and attention bestowed nn
the Dominion and Provincial Direetorics of
1871 will he given to this work. Subscribers
names reepeetfull), solic;ted. Ternts of Ad-
vertising made known upon application.
JOHN LOV ELL R SON
Montreal, Dec. 1881. Publishers. 1789
Tit Cleapest & Best Few
M Tlta
W ORLD_
Aasld ea• ae N Railway Lhasa to
the l . d. sad tree that our trade
mark, -trues is at melad os melt
rest Wt Ito dead hr Mess
ebe fun to R. . c mime. O�sad
c
DOMINION 14*1 WHIZ Plwcs ea.
1776em. Mese rest.
Carpet Weaving
1n sew Pattered ud new Warga
DINEII-BOOT OIBPITS
acrd an wowk is the w•a_,.._ vll/t lfaeiM•.1 earefolll
ate lay d _
Kingstrn street, Godurtob
J.
\\ `ase Year 2
JOHN TS ON'S0Q'
SARSAPARILLA
L 7 1 70111111, Yilliili
Lad fx Purifying the Eloed.
It has been In ase for Mysore and nas
proved to as 1a11 bet misname h
,n, SICK HLAI,tCTIE AIN
T,IL OR BACK. UVEB (. -
r.t�ip r puma'' ON TUE T
1.6A. end all Dsm
tee
AA: arise rt'i
o -n a Junrecred L`.er ar ma
saner* mood. 11 ~ands et new hast
se•� sotto ltd s� k s0 there Zr
.i •a. Physicians re earn: 1tdatb. r1tw
rite •ora•, rest u b e bees
wMewls ieem w"O�
ass larta/Ytlla, Ire
Da�rdsi �sssatr•a
.lagan w stat esIitb wasowww. and ma-
re hurt the meg IslicateretsartasMOM
c. one of um fag as.dtaltnm 11111110
1 nae t ear el Waft •e At
.tar
lobe esaaea *brats • bottle
nor d. eel blit
N
jai» 100.limenenta
dear rake try his= Wades,
Oboist and Drugggist.
HURON CARRIAGE WORKS.
T. & J. STORY
ISUCCISSORS TO JOHN- KNOX(. MANCFACT C•ItEIRS
's
!fl!'
arc_ 8cC_
ANY STYLE OF VEHICLE BUILT TO ORDER.
01'
C arr!aaes
REPAIRING and JOBBING done with Neatneas and D..41 'Itch, and at Reap-
,nable Rates. Call and examine betora parabolise elsewhere. -
T_ oft J.. STORY,
HAMILTON STREET.
IKNOX8 OLD STND.
GRAND CLEARING SALE
---0 F—
foots and _Shoes,
--AT
1'AMPBELLS BOOT and SNOB EPORhl1L
F()R UNC M(.)NTII.
Previous to Stook taking. My Stock is Large and well -assorted,
and
G REAT
BARGAINS
will be given
'TERMS — CASH
WM. CAMPBELL.
Goderich, Jan. 13, 1881
owsnith sad Ansa,5wary Pee. earie.erowl stn msss dsai.t►
v1 C TO RIA--
ii-u&UVAURSt
7rie ••r,EATS/t. /1/
C' 1c.0 A .r `. 1 i.) [ ;. .
1 ,. r)• .4N
1;119
BEEGMILLER
Chilled Plow
-AND
AGRI.UITURA WORKS.
Ravioli pordis eel rite
PlAr MI wt.
Mg
new • mite d
meter a /nen ke
4'4 011.. and
else.' an le OMR%
. cord melt
.4.
Mr. it
mole
half of
1 pear.
WA 1 lana ..Is. ..+ , . , ,.-swt41•4••. r -
9 5EEGV1l.Ltip
Pvoerieto,
f