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CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING
OPPORTUNES
'WOMENR MEN ANP AGENTS WANTED
400.4 pacw.,tr with iersonalized sneve".,: (404,1 by a Worid-itenown,
ed German Sejenti#, Sell ,by te
frier* etc. FiVO Canadian sharerss are prospects, Full year% SUP
PLY only $1.00, Pree getsils, Atif9
440fitratPrV., [09 Oar St, Toronto,
GO. INTO BUSINESS r0 yourself. Sell
exclusive imuseware products and• aP*
PlianeeS wanted by every householder, 'rinse items are net sold in stores,
There is no competition, Profits op 'to
500%. Write Immediately for free color
catalogue With retail prices ,shown, Seeareie confidential wholesale- priee
will be included Murray Sales, 3822 St,
Lawrence, Montreal,
lasted just ten seconds—the time
it took her to recover from the
shock, flex her right arm, and
give Dick a Slap In the face that .
• echoed, round the ieedrome,
Five minutes later he, walked
—or :rather i helped him—out of
the rink for the last time,
Oddly enough, he seemed hap.,
pier than he had been for weeks,
"I," he said, °have been an
idiot, I can't think, how on earth
I fell 'tor that bad-tempered
wench."
He emiled •""Come on,
• let's have a pint to celebrate my
return to dry lend,"
I smiled,. too. For a moment,
back there. on the rink, I had
been Afraid I hadn't posied bard,
enough. •
From "Tit,laits"
SELL '911erlite" fire alarms. Operetta
on flashlight batteries. Neat, compact,
Fast seller. Every home a prospect.
Good commissions. Particulars: Box 33,
nishop Falls, Newfoundland.
BE A HAIRDRESSER
JOIN CANADA'S LEADING SCHOOL
Greet Opportunity.
Learn Hairdressing Pleasant dignified professioo; good
wages. Thousands of supeessfol
Marvel graduates.
America's Greatest System
illustrated Catalog Free
Write or Call
MARVEL HAIRDRESSING SCHOOLS ma Blear St, W„ Drente
„Branches:
44 King St„ Hamilten
72 Rideau St., Ottawa •
PATENTS
How Can I?
r!ct.es FOR SALE
IT'S SEW-EASY
Ready to assemble Infant gowns tar fin-
est -flannelette waterfall 3 In a package
complete with instructions'for only
$1.98. Send Money Order with name and address to oGitVIE, LINE OF ESSENTIALS
box 153, O'Connor Station,
Toronto IC Ontario,
THE RAMSAY COMPANYPatent Ate
torneys, 273 Bank Street, -Ottawa of-
fers to every Inventor full information
free, on patent procederes,
FETHERSTONHAUGH la Corn Pan yo
Patent Attorneys. Established 1890,
009 University Ave., Toronto rietents all countries,
PERSONAL
11
11
1
1
$1.00 TRIAL offer. Twentyfive deluxe
personal requirements. Latest caue
logue included The Medico Agency,
Box 22, Tetminai "Q" Toronto, Ont.
DEAFENED?
ASK for free booklet and testimonials
telling how Leonard's Invisible Ear
Drums have helpedmany others—or send $10 for complete kit. A. O. LEONARD COMPANY,
Dept. 4, Box 306, Station F.,
Toronto, 5.
WORLD'S OLDEST LIVING MAN?—Javier Pereira is reputedly
the world's oldest man—at the tender ape of 167. The wrink-
led, Pint-sized South American Indian from Bogota, Colombia,
stands four feet four inches tail and weights 75 pounds.. He
was flown fram Barranquilla, Colombia, to the United States
for an intensive scientific study on his condition at the Cornell.
Medical Center, Ithaca, N.Y. Above, Javier, who may have
been born in 1789, calmly eats an ice cream cone in Miami,
Fla., first stop on his trip to Cornell.
just By Way -Of Breaking :Thee Ice
BABY CHICKS
BRAY chicks available now, Pullets,
Broilers. And it's tbe pullets now that
catch the good Grade A Large Markets
in '57. Hatching weekly, Order in ad.
vane if possible, but ask for list of
chicks on hand, Bray Hatchery, 120
'lotto N., Hamilton.
STARTED chick bargains, two, three
and four week old. Non sexed, pullets, eoeisereis, immediate delivery, all popu-
lar breeds. Also booking orders now for
fall and winter delivery. Special egg
breeds dual purpose breeds, Broilers,
first generation Indian River cross
(Lancaster x Nichols, No. 12 pullet)
Arbor Acre white rock. Turkey poults.
Broad breasted bronze, large white,
A.0, Smith Broad white, Beltsville. Five
to six weeks old heavy breed cockerels.
Special price while they last. Assorted
breeds $14.95 per hundred. Catalogue.
TWEDDLE CHICK HATCHERIES LTD.
FERGUS ONTARIO
FOR SALE
SWINE
IF you want to improve the Grade of
your hogs, buy a Landrao Boar. Cross
with any breed you. have and you will
note definite increase in the number
of Grade A hogs you sell. We are offer-
ing serviceable boars, guaranteed in
pig sows, four month old saws and
W boars. eanling sows and boars. All
our foundation stock, imported, from
the best Breeders in Scotland, Cata-
logue.
FERGUS LANDRACE SWINE FARM •
FERGUS ONTARIO
4
4
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4
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WANTED
WANTED to buy - Hay Apply
P.O. Box 127, Brantford, Ontario.
ISSUE 42 — 1956
FOR SALE - ENTIRE BEEF HERD —
Cows and Calves. Apply P.O. Box 127
Brantford, Ontario.
b
NEW guns and rifles at wholesale
rices; write for our wholesale prices
efore buying. Trans-Canada Whole-
sale Co., Box 852, Ottawa, Ont.
HELP WANTED
OVERSEAS job opportunities. Survey
lists all major companies hiring; how
and where to apply, Only $1, Satisfac-
tion guaranteed, Bathe Research, Box
26131, Los Angeles ps, California.
cotirtrOolin
Comedy
"IC you want .sensation and
drama look to the Old Halley,
But if you want human comedy,
look to the little local courts,"'
Fifty years have 'passed since . a
lawyer wrote •those words,. but
they •arc just as true today.
Especially were they true in
a London court the Other day
when a magistrate asked a wife
why her. husband refused to,
attend to answer a charge,
"B.2eause," she explained, "he
says all. YOU do here is talk,.
talk, talk.!' •
And there is the Case of the
County Mayo labourer who
found a noVel. way of paying
,?5 fine for poaching. He ask-
ed the magistrate if he could
pay in goods as he never had
money,
hTe magistrate, agreed; and
next day the labourer delivered
twenty poached pheasants to
the . court as Ills' fine.
One o the funniest court •
incidents occurred many years
ago.
A motor cyclist had been
summonsed because his 'motor-
cycle combination was too noisy
and disturbed the peace. So he
wheeled the combination the
last few hundred yards to the
Court, then asked. • the magis-
trate if he had heard him ar-
rive.
The magistrate said he had
not and dismissed the charge;
the man left, but a minute later
there came.. an infernal racket
outside.
The magistrate yelled: "Bring
that man back!" But nobody
moved from the court, The
noise of the starting Cycle was
so deafening that. nobody could
catch the magistrate's words!
A few, days latet- the niege.
istrate had occasion to shout
again. A grocer appeared Ise-
fore him on black 'market
charges, and asked if he might.
'whisper to the bench on a very
personal matter.
The magistrate agreed, 'bent
EDr c
PROVEN REMEDY — Every sufferer of
Rheumatic Pains or Neuritis should try
DIXON'S REMEDY.
MUNRO'S DRUG STORE,
335 Elgin ',Ottawa
$1.25 Express PrOaid
GOLDMINE CATALOG!
• SAVINGS to 85% l Empire Automatic'
Electric Skillet, advertised in Life,
$39.95, only $11,95. $7.95. Swiss-style
camp,• hunting ispife, 10 implements —
$3,95. Name Brand Appliances, house-
wares, toys, televisions, power tools,
sport equipment, garden supplies, Jewelry, giftware, etc, 'Unbelievable
Savings ! Make this amazing Catalog
your department stare I Save gas!
Time t Traffic, parking headaches I
Save Hundreds — especially this Christ-
mas! Earn hundreds of dollars, selling
to others! $1.00 refundable.
CARCION — XI
0970 Newport Fontana, California.
A Complete Story
by JOHN .TOHNS
She was definitely -worth a
whistle. And Dick was in ,mid-
whistle when his legs gave , up
the unequal struggle against
gravity and he •sat on the iCe-
drome rink so hard that -glasses
bounced in the bar fifty feet
away.
Not that that worried him un-
duly. In the three weeks since
he had begun to learn to skate
he had accepted the fact that
life's downs are more frequent
than its ups,' What really upset
him, I could see, was her laugh
as she swept by on the arm of
a burly ice-hockey player.
I leaned over the rinkside bar-
rier and pulled him to his feet..
"Friend," I said, "keep your
mind on your work."
Re stared after her with an
expression whcih in anyone else
would indicate acute indigestion,
but in his case is simply wistful-
POST'S ECZEMA SALVE
BANISH the torment of dry eczema
rashes and weeping skin troubles.
Post's Eczema Salve will not disap•
point you. itching, scaling and burn.
Mg eczema( acne,ringworm, pimples
and foot eczema will respond readily
to the stainless, odorless ointment re-
gardless of how stubborn or hopeless they seem. Sent Post Free on Receipt of Price
PRICE $2.50 PER JAR
POST'S REMEDIES
2865 St. Clair Avenue East.
TORONTO
OPPORTUNITIES FOR
MEN AND WOMEN
BOYS ! Girls' Get Samples. Christmas Cards, Stationery; Novelties, etc., now !
R. II. James RR, 3, Metcalfe, Ontario.
Q, flow can I mend a leak in
the umbrella?
A. First cut a piece of mend,-
log tissue a little larger than the
'hole. Then cut a piece of silk or
cambric a little larger than the
piece of tissue. Place tissue over
the hole on under side of cover.
Then place the silk or cambric
over the tissue„ tucking the edge,
under the tissue. Place a wet
cloth over all and press with a
hot iron.
Q. How can I make a good so-
lution to keep on hand for re-
moving grease spots from wool-
len goods?
A. Put I ounce of pulverized
borax in 1 quart of boiling wa-
ter. Bottle and keep in a conven-
ient place for use when needed.
Q. How can I prevent worn
faucet threads?
A. Be careful when scouring
the faucets to clean away all
scouring grit from the joints, or
it will work into the threads and
soon wear them.
Q. Now can I snake boys'
pants wear longer?
A. When making pants for the
boys, try cutting the backs of
the pants double. - When a hole
appears, turn in the worn edges
and hem down to the under
goods. The two pieces will be
faded alike.
Q. How can I prevent new
shoes from hurting at the heel?
A. Rub the inside of the heel
with hard soap before putting
on. Try fastening cross strips of
court plaster to your heel. The
plaster will take the rub.
Q. How can I clean the soiled
ed'tes of books?
A. Close the book tightly and
erase the soiled marks with an
ink eraser. Do not use this meth-
od if the books are gilt edged.
Q. How can I prevent waste
wh"n melting chocolate?
A. Much of the chocolate is
wasted because it sticks to the
sides and bottom of the • con-
tainer. This can be prevented by
greasing the pan thoroughly be-
fora putting in the chocolate.
Q. How can I eliminate a ring
or a stain on goods that has been
left after using a cleaning fluid?
A. First allow the spot to dry;
then hold it over a steaming ket-
tle until it disappears.
Q. How can I keep brown
surar soft?
A. Keen the brown sugar in
an open jar in the icebox and -it
will remain soft. This keeps it
from becoming lumpy.
Q. How can I repair the lid of
a cooking vessel when the knob
has come off?
A. Slip a screw through the
hole in the lid, with the head on
the inside of the lid, and Screw
a cork on the protruding end.
This knob will not get hot and
can be renewed when worn or
OPPORTUNITIES
MEN and WOMEN
TELEGRAPHERS wanted, We train and
secure position. Plan a future,
STENOGRAPHERS wanted, Ten weeks
home course qualifies with ABC Sys-
tem, Free folder either course. Cassan
Systems. 7 Superior Ave., Toronto.
MERRY MENAGERIE
Car. CZ:ti
a-a gerPreur4,
pint alone, reflecting mournfully
that I wasn't going to see much
of. him for quite a while. Me,
I'm a non-skater. I don't mind
sitting by' the rink now and
again and Watching, but enough's
enough.
Not for Dick, though. Other
men might scale mountains or
slay dragons for their beloved,
but he—since the nearest moun-
tain was • 200 miles away and
there was. a chronic dragon
sortage in London—was deter-
mined to skate into her heart,
once he was able to conquer a
tendency to skate into more Solid
objects.
A couple of weeks later I vis-
ited the rink again. Fond though
I was of Dick, it was obvious that
skates and he hadn't much in
common.
"How's the affair?" I asked,
as he staggered off the rink and
collapsed into the seat beside me,
thanlelully unlacing his boots.
"Affair, my aching foot," he
said bitterly. "I can't get near
her when she's on the ice, and
when she's off it there's always
a braee of those barrel-chested
hockey players round her."
• "Why don't you try an in-
structor?"
"I have. He resigned after one
session. He said he wasn't in-
sured," Dick sighed miserably.
I decided there was nothing for
it: somehow he would have to
meet Sadie—forcibly, if need be.
I couldn't stand by and watch a
friend pine away,
"Look," I said, "of you were
over there in the centre of the
rink, face to face with her, could
you do your stuff?"
He cocked an eyebrow. "If
you mean could I make a date—
I could have a darned good try." ,
"Well, then. Suppose you stand
with your back to the barrier
and aim yourself at Sadie. Sup-
pose I give you a shove. Yeti
glide gracefully towards her,
bump against her in passing, and
stop to apologizes A few well- ,
chosen words; and the rest fol-
lows as night follows day. More
or less."
He thought for a moment.
"How do I get back from the
centre of the rink? Ask her to
push me like a wheelbarrow?"
"'You can worry about that mite
you get there. And you won't
get there under your own steam
for a long, long time."
He hesitated, "Well. . ."
:tust then Sadie glided past,
smiling at a,,tall youth in a red
sweater beside her.
Dick glared. "O.K. What
have I got to lose?"
"The.t's the Stuff," I said. "All
we have 'to do is wait till she's
in the centre of the rink, and
then—hey prestb!"
We waited, Dick standing: on
the ice, and 1 With my hands oh
his shoulders, The crude] rho-
!bent came when Sadie was alone
in the centre of the rink, admir-
ingly watching. the antics of the
red,,sweatered youth,
"Canteen" I said.,
°Canteen"
I took careful ain't arid ptiShed.
Di& •hitched, recovered his
balance, arid Catapulted away
across the ice. My aiM had been
perfect No bee could have made
Straighter line than the one
he Made for Sadie, Gentle
htillitia and Welt-chosen Wards
were obviously out of the
Itiott I just had time to shout
'lore" before he struck her
Squarely amidst-110S, tratitically
'clutching at each Other, they
skidded across the rents and
trashed into the barrier, Sadie
was Well and tinily' iii bides
that happy Mate tiff affairs
"Poor guy -- fell into a cup of
black coffee — and he always
takes it with cream and sugar:"
ness.
'A lovely girl like that with
a moron like that," he groaned.
"There's no justice."
"Is that charitable?" I said.
"He's probably kind to children
and makes handsome contribu-
tions to the ice-hockey players'
benevolent league. And anyway
— some fo my best friends are
morons."
He ignored me. Clutching the
barrier, he hobbled off the ice
and sat staring hungrily as she
circled the rink.
"I'm going to 'learn to skate,"
he said,- "if' it kills me."
"I like you better alive," I
said. "Come and have a pint to
reduce your blood pressure.
There . are as good fish o"?..f the
Ice as on it."
But he wouldn't move. There
he sat, watching her for another
hour, and there I sat with him,
shivering.
Finally, to ray relief, the ice
was cleared as the last session
ended, and Dick went to change,
As I waited for him by the door,
she strolled 'Past on the arm of
her hockey player, and I had to
admit that she was what certain
citizens might term a lush thrush.
Dick emerged from the chang-
ing room, and We walked out
into the street.
" "How about that pint?" I
asked.
He grtinted. His mind was on
other things.
"Lovely night," I said,
He grunted again, and. nearly
walked into a lamp post,
"The moon's bright green," I
said.
He didn't even bother to grunt,
".Her naine'S Sadie," I said.
He 'stopped dead. "Re* d'you
knew?"
"I heard that hockey player'
• talking to her while yeti were
an gin g,"
He frowned: "Oaf l"
"Look," I said, "let's not get
.personal."
"Him, I mean," said Thick.
"That Muscle -bound hockey
player," He crushed an inof-
fensive inatehbox with his heel,
"HeW long does it take tie
become an expert skater?'
"Years,'"
He thought fora rhenient, 'Het
if One' spent all rdne'S spare time,
every day; Practising.
"Don't be tt intitt;" I tea• "If
You're thinking 'what I think
you're thinking, then it's ii waste'
Of time. BY the time you can do
a figure four, even, she'll. be a
veteran Member of the lionge,
Wives' League."
"Ohe shut up,'' he snarled, arid
Mumbling something about hal,»
ing to get home, he raft for a bits.
•It Was the Wrong attei hilt he vida
'too dazed to notice, I bad MY
forward, and the grocer whis-
pered in his ear, Then the
magistrate's face crimsoned,
and be Yelled; 'Vol I don't
want five pounds worth of
black xnarket butter, pay a
hundred pounds for trying to
bribe the courtl".
Magistrates and judges are
always willing to help those
Who appear befell, them, A
South African judge told a
Negro charged with stealing
that he could be tried by the
judge or, if he wished, by a
jury el his peers,
"Peers?" queried the Negro.
"Peers," the judge explained,
"are your equals, Men from
your own walk of life,"
"YOU try me, judge," the
Negro blurted out. "I don't
want to be tried by no thieves!"
A judge in Chicago asked a
slow-witted hoodlum last year
why he had stolen half a
Million in bands. The hoodlum
thought a moment, then, "Why,
because I was hungry, judge,"
he smiled.
A Texas mother refused at
Huston to pay her doctor's bill
after her son had had measles.
Asked to explain, she told the
court:
"My son had measles first
and passed it to all the kid in
the district. 'The doctor made a
fortune, out fo it, Since my boy s•
started it, I think the doe owes
me a few thousand dollars by
way of a commission."
A Dublin lawyer recently
told a court that his client had
been forced to take home a cow
which was not his property be-
cause the animal had falllen on
him and became entangled in
his clothing. Needless to say, he
'lost that case.
Humour in court is often pro-
vided by a clash between
lawyers, judges and even wit-
nesses and jurors.
A Kansas lawyer yelled
across the courtroom to his
rival recently, "You're a liar
and cheat!"
The rival answered: "And
you'Pe a grafter and boot-
legger!"
The judge interrupted dryly:
"Now these two attorneys have
accurately described each other,
we will get on with the court's'
business."
A New York lawyer, having
been reprimanded by the judge,
was looking for an opppor-
tunity to get his own back. It
came sooner than he expected
when he asked a witnesss to
repeat the words the accused
had used.
"I would rather not," said the
witness. "The words are not
fit to repeat before gentlemen."
`!In, that case," smirked the
lawyer, "vou can whisper them
to the judge."
A Winnipeg laWyer took a
knocking from an , apparently
dim-witted• witness, when •he
asked how far the man had
been from' the scene of a crime.
"Eighteen feet four' inches,"
came the quick reply.
Smiling, the lawyer pounced
in for the kill, "How can you
be so specific?" he thundered.
"I thought some darned fool
would ask me that," snapped
back the witness, "so I measur-
ed the distance.
A man in a Missouri court
sued 'a hotel keeper who had
asked him to make his own,
bed. The hotel keeper, the man
said, had pointed out there was
a staff shortage and asked him
if he Would be kind enough to
help out.
He had readily agreed to
make his bed, he said, until he
got to the room which was in a
newly opened wing, In the room
he found nails, wood and a
spring. He told the court that
he did not think he could be ex-
pected to build his bed!
FOR THE BIRDS-That's what
many homemakeri in Ham
Common, England, seem to
think of this statue. Called
"Home Making," it represents a
woman. examining Ci bird's nest
and is the work of modernist
Keith Godwin. On the grounds
of a new apartment project, it's
being viewed skeptically by •
Mrs. June kaisciale and son,
James, 3.
3
CHRISTMAS
140tiWalY toktillttat
REPIEIEHTAtIVEI
t8 to H'&erv, Southeaptpn
to
AkiNiA
Doe. In.-Froth Hosiox to Cobh, tiebipobt
(tic I 4— frrini Nefs4 York)
The tie* "CARINTHIA" end "IVERNIA" with their
sister ship, ':'SAXONIA", provide fast and regular sailing:
to Brigimitt, Scotland and France.
Fourth, of the brilliant' quartet of 22,000-ton vessels .•
eSpeeifitlY built for the Canadian service, the lieW "SYLVANIA"
will make her maiden voyage to Montreal III elude, 161,
Also itt service—the popular "SCYTHIA" and oMtANIA7.,.
TRAVEL 'NOW AT LOW THRIFT SEASON RATESi
FROM' MONTREAL
AkANtA act.t4e4v. to hewe, Southampton.
IVERNtA # # Oct. 12, Nov. 2* to LIveedeolt. *cede et deoh-aa
Nov, 2410 to Havre., SotilhemptiSa,
CARINTHIA, Oct. Nbv. 9, Nov, 29* to Liverpool; *Cat of droeiiedi
SCYTHIA- , Oct. 24,E Nov„ 17' to Le Havre, SOibtootoc
(froiri
)(04Nik Ott.4A,, 464. 1 4* 161Winio61. *calls at Greeeack
MOH SPY - ,-, barrel' of this tiow optical ocitRee
Iktuallv 160-inth lertS With Which lanes be traced tit
iiiistances up to 300 Mika under ideal tonditiaris. Operator at
011oht sees the' erie natUred color on' the Vie-WI:lig sco0e,