The Wingham Advance-Times, 1939-04-27, Page 9TThursday, April 27th, 1939
In a Parisian shop, midst jostling
throngs
Is not just the place where a Canadian
belongs,
Yet in the classiest dress-shop called
the “Purple Starling”
There, modelling evening gowns, is
Margaret Darling.
DtwsESYoimmi
• You can’t shine at work or play if
you’re troubled with constipation.
And common constipation is not a
necessary evil, Too little hulk in
your diet often causes it. Foods like
meat, bread and potatoes do not
form the “bulky” mass the bowels -
.need for, regular movements. They
become lazy. Eat Kellogg’s ALL
BRAN, a crisp, delightful cereal. It
helps to supply the “bulk” you
■need. And it is especially rich in
Nature’s intestinal tonic, Vitamin
Bi. Try this sensible routine: Eat
ALL-BRAN every day. And drink ’
•plenty of water. Discover how fine
it feels to be “regular” again.
ALL-BUM
HINDUS YdWftfMY
And sister Isobel there too, takes
her stand,
And betwixt the two have business'
quite in hand.
It sure is wonderful how people do
.stray,
down the street let us wind our
way.
So
What docs that bill there advertise,
to the right? f
I never could translate French just at
sight;
It's something about Jim Hamilton
and Hitler, see^
It seems as though those “big shots”
just never can agree,
But, oh, to be in England, now that
April’s here,
There we might witness a fistic battle
with people from far and' near,
Elgin Londy and Geo. Thomson meet
in a heavyweight bout,
Loney says it’s a pushover for Thom
son has a glass snout.
Made by Kellogg In London, Canada, At your grocers.
Gordie thinks it won’t be so easy and
says, half in fun,
That it’d behoove Loney better to
learn how to run.
To watch these demons battle seems
to us to be a sin
For we can’t ^atch the combat, but
may the best man win.
There too, in Merry Old England, is
our pretty Hilda Brown
Looking lovelier than ever in her
brand new wedding gown,
We say, a brand new one, because of
weddings she’s had her share,
But maybe this’ll be the last one for
the groom’s a millionaire.
PROPHET’S ADDRESS
By Ralph Baird
The following (“Prophet’s Address”
was read at the Easter Literary of
Wingham High School.
* * *
Some people like to ride o’er the
foaming tide
While some prefer to buffet the roll
ing billow,
Rut give to me a pleasant dream
. With my lazy head on a feather
pillow.
This wedding is going to be a big one,
we might-say a double job,
For the minister will also be hitching
Irlma Harrison and Bob,
And they’ll reside in Monte Carlo,
that charming city of fun,
Bob will carry on his business, but his
worries have just begun.
In
Then may I travel to my heart’s
content
With’ no trouble, luggage or ' great
expense,
High over .the’valleys, rivefs and trees
As Jree as a feather on a summery
breeze.
Venice, Charlie Scott in his new
gondola
Poles lovers to sleep bn his watery
way,
His complexion has been changed by
this southern clime,
But still his rhythm is tops for
pole keeps time.
his
for
In
this
dis-
ft!
How many more ^peculiar things in
this world there be.
I
INVISIBLE FISHING LEADERS
1939 Dodge Custom. 4-Door Sedan
WINGHAM ADVANCE-TIMES
but at jiight it’? really fine,
So we promise our friends we’ll call
again some other time and dine,
LI PION 5
THE TEA THAT IS
NEVER INSIPID!
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w 3 the coupons f___
Lipton’s lib. and lb.
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changeable for beau ■"
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UPTONS
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Where Patricia Parker in a dug-out
canoe
Is poled down the Nile by a Mr.
Sobble Dhu.
And now Smitty Robertson’s a sales
man, you know,
Selling fish-oil to the Zulus to make
their hair grow; /
It’s excellent -for baking and salads
too, he says,
So Smitty sure has changed since his
W.H.S. days.
In Borneo, totally unaware of the dust
and heat,
Gomes a tall- round-shouldered fellow
with very big feet,
“Why it’s Suitcase Simpson," we’re
forced to exclaim,-
“No,” he quickly corrects “Wellwood
is the name.”
He still loves his music ahd delights
to tease
The leader into giving him a solo to
be mastered with ease,
When he swings those trap sticks he
really has class,
And in the National Anthem comes a
yell: “Swing it, Chas.”
Do you remember a girl we all loved
dearly,
Who never grouched but was always
cheery?
She went with a bank clerk', tall, slim
‘ and dark, '.
When when with him was happier
than any lark?’"
Well, another chap started cooing and.
coaxed her him to wed
But our Dodie wouldn’t hear tell of
that and so she said:
“I want to warn you, laddie, tho' I
think you’re perfectly swell,
That my heart -belongs to Murray
because he treats me so well.”
In Reno, Colorado, on the shady side
of a hill, x
Forlorn, dejected and alone sits **a
changed Mr. Madill.
He murmurs something about injus
tice, calls it a tferrible mess,
We dare not question further, we only
shudder and guess,
But let’s go to romantic Hawaii and
see who’s there
In a new full grass skirt and freshly
dyed hair
But Richard Roberts, pardon us if
"we laugh
But don’t you think that really is- a
bit daft,
However, he is happy that’s very easy
to see
For he’s still singing and whistling
right merrily, c ,
On his face is written perfect content-'
ment and absolute calm,
Since the minister said: “Do you take
, this — Lamb?”
At circuses we expect to see things
very strange and queer
But .not half so bewildering as
sight before us here,
For at this down town midway,
playing strength and might
By tossing 100 pound balls around, is
Gargantuan Lucille White.
For the mathematician of Form Four
what has fate predestined,
The one that came from Belgrave
that we called Einstein, *’
We’ve -looked for him everywhere,
searched high and low,
Into every, nook and cranny where a
chap like he might g.o.
“I love you truly”has been his most
recent hit
and although we laugh profusely he
doesn’t care a whit'
However, we’ll not overdo a good
thjng, but just shake his hand
And wander here and- there on some
other foreign strand,
Hollywood where everyone yells
killer-diller,
The man of the hour is our curly-
headed Bing Miller,
There too, creating not such romantic
scenes
Is Arlene and "Cookie” our charming
chorines.
Muir McLaughlin’s swing band pleas
es the stars as they dine,
While Norma Weatherell yodels and
sings “Sweet Adeline.”
And this really does sound like a yarn
from a sailor
But Miss Doris Traill is stepping out
with Robert Taylor.
In gang-land Hen. Posliff has made
quite a name,
And as a racketeer has won world
wide fame,
Bootlegging perfumes for those pretty
Bluevale girls
And domestic shortening for softening
their curls.
’Way out t’other side of Zetland on ,a
farm making hay
In a straw hat and patched overalls is
blushing Jean McKay,
You know the one I mean, the one of
commencement fame
When as a Mrs. “Thing-in-a-Bob” she
made herself a name.,
Right now to us, she seems, well, just
rather out of place
But she doesn’t seem to think so for
no wrinkles line her face.
So she milks her cows, and does lots
of others kinds of work
Remaining the same in that respect,
being never known to shirk.
But she’s not the only one who likes
the open countryside,
For on the second line of Morris Mr.
and Mrs. Stuckey reside,
In a modernistic farm-house just built
for nine' or ten
They appear to be contented and
prospering, I ken.
You have not inclined an attentive
ear,
Don’t blame the school nor anything
like that
Just say: “’Tis folly by Rudy .de
Ratte.”
A new fishing leader, which will not
fray, split or become brittle, is invis
ible in water and. possesses elastic
qualities permitting a uniform “give”
of about one inch per foot and resum
ing normal length with, much the same
action as a rubber band, has just been!
made available to the Canadian ang
ling world.
The new leaders can be tied dry
and without moistening of any kind
will straighten out perfectly with a
slight pull. The strength of the new
leader material is equal to that of the
best natural gut and possesses excep
tional wearing qualities because the
material contains no fibres and every
strand is chemically controlled. The
leader sinks as readily as natural gut
—an important feature for the dry fly
fisherman — and, having considerably
less sheen, is less visible when in use.
The leader material itself absorbs a
very minute percentage of water and
its resiliency remains regardless of
how long it may be in use in alkaline
and other destrive waters.
And now home again, where Omar’s
used to be * ' •
A new red sign swings where Omar’s
ought to be,
And inside, seeing is believing, just as
according to Hoyle,
Smoking a cigar and racking up balls
is Ichabod Boyle. ■
He makes plenty of money and lives
at his ease,
Smoking his cigar, letting the ashes
fall as they please,
Evades all gasoline taxes by burning
olive oil
And so “puts on the dog” when . he
takes but his “goih”
Hoiiv many will ybu spot me; is his
very first plea, «®>
We offer him two but he's a holdout
for -three,
And that isn’t justice or at least so it
seems, •
So let’s rouse ourselves from' this
reverie of dreams.
Stalin in Russia needs smart men, so
perhaps he’s. there,
And if we go and take a look, we may
find this man of care.
He was very good in geometry, but in
trig, he did excel
So if perchance we see him, we trust
to find him well.
Down in South America, riding bare-
back on a mule,
Rhoda Robertson and Dorothy Golley
' conduct a riding school,
Their pupils consist of natives and
treacherous men' of stealth,
With the occasional foreign gentry
. and Spanish men of wealth.
And this pretty young damsel, you all
know who,
Stands up there besides him as “Wal
ker the Woo”
She is spmewhat fatter but still is not
huge,
And her eyes shine love over shadow
and rouge.
MONUMENTS at first cost'
Having our factory equipped with the.
mo§t modern machinery for the exe
cution of high-class work, we ask yott
to see the largest display of monu
ments of any retail factory in Ontario.
All finished by sand blast machines.
We import all our granites from the
Old Country quarries direct, in the
rough. You can save all local deal
ers’, Agents' and middleman;profits by
seeing us.
E. J. Skelton & Son
it West End Bridge—WALKERTON
Jugo-Slavia must- have religion,
with hair hanging down,
Bill Burgman has readily adopted
clerical gown,
He preaches a sermon three times
each and every day
And is doing his very best to justly
earn his pay. ’
I
$
<3
Murray Johnson
DODGE FEATURES you can
see and try for YOURSELF!
*TIot dogs, cold dfinks, ice cream and
not very dear*
Rut across the way Mt. Hall shouts,
^They’re cheaper over here."
They tell ns business is low just now,
But in Europe, perhaps we’ve spent
enough time,
So let’s waft away to Africa’s sunny
clime,
(bight) "Safety Signal”
Speedometer on .alltn
Dodge cars for 1939.
<4 left) Independent
front wheel springing
, . t airplane-type
shock absorbers.
(right) Hew Handy*
Control Gearshift! ►
on steering column.
■1
YOU CAN BUY |
A DODGE
SIX COUPE
Delivered in WINGHAM
Llconso and any local taxes only oxtra
(LiiFT) Ram Trap
Cowl Ventilator*
C0M I’6, °pen
when raining.
♦Standard in all lines except Dodso Six.
. ......v a A. ?.?.................. .1.,. fi 1 ■ ■ntri • - r ■'-AirYi -•Jl1
the
Wingham
• TUNE IN (Major Bowes’ Amateur
Hour . . .THURSDAYS, 9-10 p.m.,
E.S.T., Columbia Network.
>
Sometimes on my trips I queer things
see, ‘
And as I relate them you’ll wish you
were me,
However, you not busy nor neither
am I,
So let’s take this trip, just you and I,
I’M Nt) MILLIONAIRE
-SO I RIDE ON
GOODYEAR G-IOO’S
COMPRESSED TREAD
GIVES MORE MILES
• G-100 has the greatest tread fever
put on a .tire. This tread actually
compresses under air pressure u • •
armours the tire against wear «• *
gives MORE MILLS’ Gives you
everything you want 3 s ; and costs
no more than any standard tire. ’
Come in and see it today!
Murray Johnson
Wingham Ontario
Their business is enorihous for their
fee is not immense,
For one may learn to ride a m-ule for
less than twenty cents;
Ifvwe had time we’d learn to ride, it
really must be jolly
But for lack of time we’re forced to
say “Bye Rhoda and Bye Golley.”
In Southern Australia and really
speeding up hill , •
A lone lady driver’ leaves our carpet
standing still,
At the wheel of a new roadster , with
the top down
Miss Katherine'McGregor is going to
town.
To “Ace” Bateson.nearly happened a
drastic thing,
An affair in which death almost put'
its sting;
“Ac6” having left home "would never
return again,
Betty Rae still wanted him but so did
Muriel Lane.
For a time it looked like a duel right
there and then,
Not pistols or swords, but the pro
verbial rolling pin,
How Biggs entered the picture no one
really knows,
But it looks as if Darrel and "Ace”
Still have their woes.
In Greenland, Mary Crttikshank and
Vivian share a swimming pool,
While in leeland Jack Wettlaufer
holds his dancing school,
And Mary Julia Preston too, preferred
the frigid realm
Fbr as interior decorator of snow
lines, she’s Mrs. McCallum.
In a twinkle the scene changes and
we suffer torrid heat,
While from a deserted hot-dog stand
comes a voifce, low and sweet,
For behind a stack of onions, there
sits right hale and hearty
One who loved old Cicero, we mean
Miss McLarty.
believe that’s him sitting beneath a
weeping willow tree,
He hasn’t seen us yet so we’ll slip up
on him cautiously.
What’s he busy working at, why, by
all the gods above,
Our mathematical genius is writing
songs about love.
But now we must leave friends Hen,
. and Verne
And our fast-moving feet must be
forced to turn
In another direction, that our eyes
might see
So you’ve witnessed it as I have many
and many’s an eve,
Things that appear to be real but are
rather hard to believe,
Thoughts as these like a chain un-
broken^have often been mine,
And I like to awake to the reality of
good old thirty-nine.
*
And now, if to this story you’ve been
forced to hear,I
X
UvIfWj intlteJcMeitP/ucefielcl
luxury and beauty in every detail .
Spacious Interiors and Famous Operating Economy!are lower than last year.
_____“y your present car will
more than take care of your down
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monthly payments. See your Dodge-De Soto dealer today and
DRIVE one of these amalzing
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fore iri the 25 years of Dodge
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Before you decide on ANY car
go to your Dodge-DeSoto dealer
and examine these 1939 cars in
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famous u Dodge Dependability,
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—and COMPARE!
DEPENDABILITY—A Dodge Quality for Twenty-Five Years
LOOK at the delivered price of a
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. above. This price is.right down
among the lowest priced cars.
’ Look at the three other new
Dodge lines for 1939< The Dodge
Deluxe, Dodge De Luxe Special
and the big, luxurious Dodge
Custom. Each gives you more
for your money than ever be-
DODGE AND
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