The Advocate, 1887-10-27, Page 3•
H• r,•N ,1 "
My T.,ittie Bo rpep,,,
yilttle Bo Peep is fast asleep,.
." Auld her heed en my heart h; lying,
I gently rock; and the cid hall clock
Berikiai a kuell Of the :day that's dying;
But What care 1 how tho hours go. by
" whether swiftly they go or creeping'?
filot ag- hour mild:be but .dear to me,
'When inY babe ,en my arm te sleeping,
Bar little bare foot, with diu.aples sweet,
-.Froth the folds of her gown aro peoPhig,
And each woo toe like a daisy in blew,
Caress as alio lios a -sleeping].
.Iler golden hair falls ever the
Its •treasuree ef boanty unfolding;
I Press my lips to hor finger tipe
my hands aro so tightly holding.
tock,tiek, tock; you may wait, old clock,
It was foolish *hat 1 wee saying;
TJet your seconds stay, your Minutes play,
And bid your days go fill palaying.
9; 'Braestand still—let mo -drink my dB
Of Content-NO:Old my babe is sleeping;
•Ail smooth her hair, my life iooke fair,
And t0-1110rTQW—I may be weeping, •
That Hateful Han.
I hated Henry Carling from the first
time he took his seat in front of me at
table d'hote in the Sea Beach Hotel and
looked at me so much it interfered with
ray appetite. When I went out rowing and
the boat upset he was on hand to fish me
out. I suppose I ought to haye been grate-
ful for that, but I wasn't. Pm sure he
knew my boat was cranky and followed
me on purpose; besides tho waves were not
running very hiqh.
He was an artist and could spend hours
looking at a sunset, Did you ever know
anything good of a man who could act in
that incomprehensible manner?
I was out walking about a week after I
allowed the young man to save me from
drowning.
I walked, and walked, and walked. Pres-
ently I came to a cottage, outside of which
a beautiful little child, with long hair, was
playing. The pretty little thing ran after
me laughing.
4' I held out my hand to him, • •
We walked on toward a clump of wild
flowers that hung over the road in a grace-
ful way that I am too stupid to describe or
draw, though Henry Carling can do both.
I suppose that, though I may dislike a
person,I'm able to do that person some
sort of justice.
We—the child and 1—were seated toge-
ther on the little rook I had chosen as a
resting -place, when suddenly there came in
sight an object I shall never forget—no, not
to my dying hour.
It was a dog; mad, it was too easy to
see. It ran on, hanging its head, but with
wild eyes and foaming at the mouth.
hideous and furious. It flew at the little
child.
I only remember one thing. As it flew
at the child I caught its throat. 1 held it
with the strength of the madness of that
terror, for the little creature's sake, that
had come upon me, and there I stood. I
did not tremble.
Thehorrible saliva ran from the dog's
mouth. It did not touch my hands.
Fortunately, too, I had doeskin gloves to
keep my hands from freckling and tanning.
I stood so—and ages seemed to pass—
when Henry Carling came up. With him
were three men.
How they mastered the dog I do not re-
member. After that I fainted.
When I revived I had been carried, I
found, into the cottage of the little child's
mother. She was kneeling beside me and
saying all manner of things to me about
"saving her boy's life."
As for Henry Carling, he was crying.
The idea of crying like a baby, a grown
man 1
And all because a girl held a mad dog 1
I suppose he would have had me think of
nobody but myself and run off 1 Ihate such
people 1 •
Two days afterward his sister came to see
me. I had to keep my bed. I was over-
come by something or other—fright, I sup-
pose, for when it was over I could not but
admit that I did feel strangely.
When I finally came down -stairs there
was that provoking man, as large as life.
He looked pale and ha tears in his eyes,
and when he tried to speak to me he seemed
to ohoke and could not do it.
Then what do you think, of all things,
that he did say?
He said he loved me.
To -day week we are to be married. Papa
made a little fuss at first, but Aunt Julia,
who had taken a mother's place to me ever
since my poor mamma died, advised him
not to thwart me.
What is the use of being rich, my dear
Charles," said she, "if you cannot let your
child fellow her own inclinations ? Carling
is a fine artist and a gentleman."
There that horrid man calling now. He
is in papa'S library. He wants—a kiss!
He says it is three weeks since he had one.
Dees ha suppose for a moment that I am
going to him to give him one? I am in the
eitting-room writing all this. I presume
that if he must have suchan indulgence he
is big enough, and old enough, and ugly
enough to come for it himself.
Watch the Insects.
Injurious insects demand attention
throughout the summer months. Look
for the borers near the base of young fruit
trees; if saw.clust is seen frore a hole in
the bark, or if a portion of the bark is seen
to be depressed, out out the borer. If the
leaves of currant and gooseberries aro eaten
by "the worm," apply white hellebore at
once. Stir a teaspoonful of the powder in
a pailful of water, and apply with a syringe.
Repeat this after a few days. If later
broods appear, continue the remedy,, which
is a very certain one. The greenish sling
slug, which appears upon the leaves of
cherry; pear and other treee, may be de,
stroyed by applying air -slacked lime or
wood ashes. This may be dusted upon the
leaves by means of a bag of coarse fabric,
attaohed to a pole. The insecte attacking
the grape vines this month are mainly large
caterpillars, which are most readily picked
by hand, and the so-called " thrips," which
is properly the " grapevine leaf hopper," and
not related to the true thrips. It is a little
whitish inseet whitili Often rises in clouds
When the vines are disturbed. The best
troatritent is to go among the vines with
torohesi gently heating there to disturb the
insectiii which will at once fly toWards the
light. The first appearance of grayish
spots on the tindersideS of the vine indicates
'mita*, and flowers of sulphur Bond be ;
applied with a bellows Made fer the pur-
pose
TwisTo$ 000D TO BAT,
Anm d How to Get TheUp with Satigaot.
tory Flavor.
Chocolate Cookies.—Qpe clip of butter,
two onps of suger, three pups of flour, four
eggs, one fiup4of grated chocolate, one-half
teaspoonful of cream of tartar. Roll thin
and bake in a quick oven.
Lemon elly.—The yolks of two eggs, one
oop of sugar, one cup of water, one table-
snopnful ,of corn-staroh and the juice and
grated rind of one Omen; cook till thick.
This is like for layer peke.
Yankee Miiffinp.—To one quart of milk
add one gill of yeast, one teaspoonful of
salt, with our or five eggsbeaten ; add flour
sufficient :t'p make a thick batter; bake in
muffin nings. Serve with butter.
Lemon pods, Cake.—One pup of sugar,
one tablespoonfid of butter, two eggs, one-
half oup of sweet milk, one teaspoon of
soda, two teaspoons of cream tartar, one
pint of flour, measured after sifting.
Puff Pudding. --One pint of boiling milk
and nine tablespoonfuls of flour; mix first
with a little cold milk. When cold add a
little salt and flour, three well -beaten eggs,
and bake in a buttered dish. Serve at once,
Excellent Cake.—Take one cupful of
sugar, three cupfuls of flour, ono and a half
cupfuls of milk, half a cupful of butter and
eggs; mix thoroughly, adding two tea.
spoonfuls of baking powder. Bake in a bot
oven. •
Eggless Cake.—Two-thirds of IL cup Of
sugar, two-thirds of a oup of meet milk,
one-third of a cup of butter, two cups of
flour and two teaspoonfuls of baking pow-
der. Flavor to taste, and before putting in
the oven grate sugar over it.
Tea Cakes.—Rub together four teaspoon-
fuls of butter and one oup of sugar, add
one well -beaten egg, ono tablespoonful of
cream and two cups of flour into which has
been _sifted two teaspoonfuls of baking
powder. Bike in small pans and eatwhile
fresh.
Beef Fritters.—Chop pieces of steak or
cold roast beef very fine; make a batter of
milk, flour and an egg; mix the meat with lump it. Put a of butter in a saucepan, let
it melt, then drop the batter into it from a
large spoon. Fry until brown, season with
pepper and salt and a little parsley.
Cream Cake.—One half-oup butter or one
Cup sweet cream, one and a half cups sugar,
foureggs (one beaten separately), ono half-
oup sweet milk, two teaspoonfuls cream of
tartar and one teaspoonful soda. Bake in
a long pan. When done, out open and
spread between one pint whipped cream
and one oup sugar. Flavor with lemon.
Bread Griddle Cakes.—Soak a small
bowl of bread over night in milk. In the
morning mix a half a cupful of flour, into
which is put one and a half teaspoonfuls of
baking -powder, with one quart of milk,
three well -beaten eggs and a little salt.
Beat up the bread with this batter until it
is very light and fry a delicate brown, The
batter should be thiok.
Ice Cream.—Three quarts of milk, nine
eggs, four tablespoonfuls of arrowroot and
three cups of white sugar. Set the dish
containing the milk in a kettle of water,
and when hot add the arrowroot, previously
wet in milk, the sugar and the eggs. Cook
a few minutes and flavor when cold. This
will fill a gallon freezer. Less eggs may be
used, but your cream will not be so nice.
Water Pound Cake.—One pound of but-
ter, one pound of powdered sugar, four
eggs, one cupful of boilingwater, one pound
of prepared flour, flavor withlemon. Beat
butter, sugar and the yolks of the eggs to a
cream, then add the boiling water and stir
gently till cold, then tho pound of flour
with the whites of theeggs beaten to a stiff
froth, the lemon last; bake one hour.
This cake cannot be told from real pound
cake, and it will keep two weeks.
In making beef pot pie, out in small
pieces two pounds lean beef and one half -
pound fat salt pork. Place in kettle, with
one fine -chopped onion, one carrot, one-
half turnip and water to cover well. Stew
until tender, then add salt and pepper to
season and place over stew the following
crust: Two teacupfuls flour, in which have
been thoroughly mixed two teaspoonfuls
baking powder; rub well through flour one
tablespoonful salt, and wet with cold water
or sweet milk and mix to a stiff dough;
roll into a sheet to cover stew; make two
or three perforations in crust. Keep kettle
closely covered, and stew twenty minutes
to half an hour after adding crust. When
no dough adheres to straw when thrust into
the middle, thepot pie is done.
Be Won Her by the Book.
An exchange relates that a young gentle-
man happening to it at church in a pew
adjoining one in which sat a young lady, for
whom he conceived a sudden and violent
passion, was desirous of entering into a
courtship on the spot, but the place not
suiting a formal declaration, the exigency
of the case suggested the following pion:
He politely handed his fair neighbor a
Bible (open) with a pin stuck in the follow-
ing text, II. St. John, 5: "And now I be-
seech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a
new commandment unto thee, but that
which we had from the beginning, that we
love another." She returned it, pointing
to Ruth ii. 10 " Then she fell on her face,
and bowed herself to the ground, and said
unto him, Why have I found grace in thine
eyes; that thou shouldst take knowledge of
me, seeing I am a stranger?" He returned
the book, pointing to III. John, 10; "1 had
many things to write. Lwill not vvith pen
and ink write unto thee, but I trust I shall
shortly see thee, and we shall speak face to
face." From the above interview a mar-
riage took place the ensuing week.
Awaiting tho Bosun.
Tho popular Major Priest, of the New
York Central road; very much resembles
Dr. Burton, Of Fultonville. The other day
a lady entered a car in which the Major
sat, and, stepping hp to him, said: "Doctor,
my husband is not so well to -day." The
Major understand the situationat once, and
inquired: 4, What scorns to be the diffi-
(salty ?" " Woll," said the lady, " he seems
to be more nervous than he was." "Oh,"
Said the Major, "that's all right; give him
three nore pills." "I will," said the lady,
and with that the Major departed, `What
the result of this prescription will be
remains to be soon. ---Albany Journal:
.
Dom Peden, Emperor Of Brazil, sailedI There are more than 65,000 widOWS in
froth Rio do Janeiro Yeoterday for Europe Massachthietts, about half of thein being
on the stein:nor Gironde less than 40 years of age.
1• 1,/ ^,,y^. -I•
4...941.449qc
A Young Man Stern! 000,000 and Skip to
a, South Pacific Island, Where Hp
ilecamPa a !Ong*
That wickedness sometimes propers is
eViaerlood, says the New York /VON; by the
rp,ther romantic career within the last few
giontlis of Charles W. Banks, formerly of
Albany, this State, later of San Francisco,
csi, and new elevated by the power of love
to the throne of Ring of Cook's Island, in
the South Pacific Ocean, A history of Mr.
Bank's life in Albany 7wiiul4 add so little
interest to his later life that it is unneces-
sary to refer to it now, except to state that
in that nailing town he married a very
interesting young lady, for whom accord.-
ing to his latest letter to his friends in this
oity, he All entertains the most touching
affection. It iB also hardly necessary to
say that the lady in question, Mrs. Fanny
A. Banks, who is now in this city, places
BO little faith in these assurances of
unbounded love that she has begun a
divorce snit, and charges his kingship with
desertion and infidelity.
Soon after the marriage of the couple
they journeyed to San Francisco, where
Mr, Banks, being intelligent and bright, as
well as a handsome young man, obtained
employment in the express office of Wells,
Fargo dc Co. There he prospered, pros,
pored too well for his personal good; for
having obtained a position of trust, and
gained the entire confidence of his em-
ployers, be suddenly disappeared six
months ago, carrying with him over
$50,000 belonging to the company. His
many friends at the Golden gate mourned
his departure, for he was a good fellow,
recklees with his money, an interesting
talker, and a good story -teller, while his
little suppers at home and at his club were
the talk of society for days after each
event. Mrs. Bardta,, too, mourned his loss,
but her reasons were widely different, and
she 'came to:. this city after gathering
enough evidence in San Francisco to prove
to her that her husband had not been all
that she had expected. Consulting the
law firm of Messrs Johnes, Benner ds Will-
cox here, the papers for a divorce werepro-
perly drawn up, but Rending information
as to the whereabouts of her reoreant hus-
band, she withheld proceedings.
Meanwhile Wells, Fargo & Co, had sent
detectives after the defaulter, who tracked
him to Tahiti, ,Sandwioh Island, but the
wily young man fled in a schooner a few
hours before the sleuth -hounds of the law
reached there. From this point the gay
defaulter's movements much resemble
those of Billy Kid, the illustrious hero
whom Rosini Vokes sings about in her
clever song, "His 'Art was true to Poll."
Like Billy Kid, Mr, Banks
Landed on a strange shore and looked out for an
Inn,
Whenclyno,ble savage lady, of a color rather
came along and accosted Wm.
Oh I stay with ;no and the king you'll bo,
And in a palace loll,
Or I'll eat you like a filet ;" so he gave his hand,
did Billy,
But his 'art was true to Poll.
Mr. Banks was certainly in luck. He had
sailed away from Tahiti for a point any-
where out of the grasp of the law, and
favoring gales had directed his craft to the
shores of Rarelonga, Cook's Island, in the
South Pacific, where the beautiful but
dusky Queola4.14akea ..(Ulakea in English,
but something else in her own picturesque
language) reigned quietly and kindly over
her loving tribe. She is a widow, but
ceased abruptly to grieve for her departed
lord when the handsome face and manly
bearing and figure of Mr. Banks!, oomed up
before her in her quiet, luxurious home.
He was a wanderer, weary and forlorn, and
she a widow, sad and lonely, but with lots
of this world's goods and a large heart,
which she unhesitatingly threw at his feet.
Her kindness won him, coupled with his own
Yankeeingenuity,whichtold him that he had
struck it rich, to use an Americanism, and
he availed himself of the fortunate oppor-
tunity equally as unhesitatingly as it had
been opened to him. There at Raretonga,
safe from the law's strong grasp, where the
climate is glorious and warm all tho year
round, Banks is now living, duly domesti-
cated and acknowledged as king, and re-
ceiving the homage of the people, who adore
him because their beloved Queen has set
them the example. The detectives who
found him there say he expresses no desire
to return to his -native country, but seems
satisfied to continue his life of idleness and
power. Mrs. Banks has heard of her hus-
band's fortune and has decided to begin
divorce proceedings at once. Her counsel,
Edward R Jones, appeared before
Judge Lawrence in the Supreme
Court chambers recently and obtained
an order for the publication of a summons
in the suit, a copy of which will be mailed
to Ring Banks I. at his palace at .Rare -
tongs. Although Mrs. Banks has suffi-
cient evidence to secure a divorce without
reference to her husband's present potation,
the detectives who have traced Mr. Banks
and discovered hi o new mode of life will
make affidavits whieh will be used in the
suit in order to show the man's utter un-
worthiness. Wells, Fargo dc Co. have not
given up hope of bringing Banks to justice,
or of obtaining from him the money he
embezzled. 131Inks' flight at the time of
the discovery of the theft created a sensa-
tion. The publication of his subsequent
movements will probably prove a greater
surprise to the many 'moiety people of both
San Francisco and this city who know hire
and his wife.
He Changed His mud.
A well-known New York hommopathie
physician says that he was once rung up
in the middle of the night, and requested
by a man to call immediately upon his
wife,
"Very well," said the doctor.
How ratoh will it cost ? " asked the
caller,
" Ten dollars—to go that distance."
"How much will it be if yeti call in the
morning?" •
" Two dollars."
"Well, call in tho morning," said the
husband.
A man at Genesee, 111., took sick tho
other night and sent hie nephew out for
some pille. The young Man, finding the
drug dons all eloped and ono solitary
groOdy Open, entered and procured a hand.
ful of Small white Wane, When he got
home b� filled a pill box in his room with
bating and toOk theta to hid uncle. The
beanti were taken and proved quite office -
as the Mari redotered the follOwieg
day:
ISAS TUB I;4r1r
•-•-•••••••
An Old 010 Vallnar Whu 1$4P4shlas row
bta*ere TORO/
"'Do you Pee tliat Wldte-hatrea• OQUIetri-
fled-looking chap Pitting in front of the Rea
Lion Hotel ?" asked a business man of a
friend whom he Met on the opposite side of
the street.
"Well, what .of him?" answered the
other,
"eis one of the Meat peculiar old chaps
ever met," said the firat speaker.
claims to be possessed of the healing
power,' and his touch is spniething wonder-
ful. It makes your nerves fairly tingle.
For my part I don't understand it."
This conversation was what led 11, Dis-
patch reporter te look up the man with the
healing in his hands. He was found sitting
outside the door smoking a regulation tolifis
and quietly watching the passing throng,
His hair and beard are snowy white and
worn short after the country style, while
his dress is more substantial and comfort-
able than rich and fashionable. Taking a
seat beside him, the reporter asked ;
"Aro you. the doctor ?"
"No, sir,' he answered rather :LIMO-
OeUtly.
"Ain't you the faith cure doctor that is
stopping here ?"
" No, sir; I ain't no faith cure doctor,
but I can knock a pain out of you in a jiffy
if I set my hands on you," he replied with
a good deal of animation.
The interviewer was at a loss to know
how to take the old gentleman's answer—
whether he meant that he would knook the
life out of him for his impertinence, or that
he would kindly relieve his physical suffer-
ings. As he did not take a threatening hold
on the big dogwood cane that he carries, the
interviewer proceeded to explain:
I was told that you were a faith cure or
pow -wow doctor."
"I'm nothing of the kind. My name is
Josiah Stonebraker, and I live down in
Belmont county, 0, near Demos post.
office, and I don't have to pow -u ow for a
living. I am a farmer, and. I do most of
the undertaking business in that section. I
used to make my own coffins, but I don't
do it any more. You fellows up here make
'em cheaper than I can. No, I'm notup here
after cons; I just came up to see some
old friends and look around. I was here
about twelve years ago, but it doesn't look
like the same place. Then it was so smoky
and dark that I thought I would have to
get a lantern to see my way on the streets."
"Yes, there has been a great change.
But I would like to know something about
this pain cure."
Well, young man, all that I know is
that when a person comes to me and says:
Si, I've a pain, so and so,' and I put my
hands on the place, the pain goes away, or
if I rub a wart or corn they go away, and
I've known cancers to disappear after I've
rubbed them that way. You needn't laugh,
young feller," says he solemnly as he laid
his hand on the doubting Thomas' thigh.
It may have been imagination, but his
hand seemed as hot as fire and sent thrills
to the ends of the toes.
No, never laugh at suoh things, for you
don't know what might happen. I have
saved life, and while I do not travel on it,
still I feel that whenever I can relieve
suffering I ought to do it. As I said before,
I don't have to, and am up here just to look
around. Do I believe in faith cures? Of
course I do. Every Christian must believe
in them. In the early days of the Church
all cures were effected by means of the lay-
ing on of hands, anoiting with oil and offer-
ing up prayer. Why may it not be just as
good now? I don't know anything about
magnetism, galvanism nor none of your
isms. I only know that if you have a
rheumatic pain there in your knee, a tight-
ness ix your chest, or a pain in your head,
I can drive it out. Now, you can call it
whatever ism you please."
"Do you believe the power is from God,
or is it your own?"
"Every good and perfect gift is from
God; besides, we have no power of our
own. In olden times the people possessed
divers gifts; spree the gift of prophecy,
some the gift of healing and others the gift
of teaching. I reckon mine is the gift of
healing."
"Did you always have this power ? "
"Yes; but I didn't know it until a
gifted healer told me so. He said that I
had a great deal of power, and he showed
me how to use ib. My wife, who had been
an invalid for twenty years, and had been in
bed four years, and weighed only about 50
pounds, now weighs 150, and is able to do
her own housework. Why, sir, the blamed
doctor bills just kept me poor, and she got
worse right straight along until I struck
this. Then she quit taking medicine, and
hasn't taken a drop since, and is now well
and hearty."—Pittsburg Despatch.
Origin of Rand -shaking.
In the early andIxiiharous times, when
every savage or semi -savage was his own
law -giver, judge, soldier and policeman,
and had to watch over his Own safety, in
default of all other protection, when two
friends Or acquaintances, or two strangers
desiring to be friends or acquaintances,
when they chanced to meet, offered each to
the other the right hand alike of offence
and defence, the hand that wields the
sword, the dagger, the dub, the tomahawk,
or other weapon of war. Each did this to
show that the hand was empty, and that
neither tar nor treachery was intended. A
•man cannot well stab another while he is
engaged in the act of shaking hands with
him, unless he is a double -dyed traitor and
villain, and tries to aim a cowardly bloW
with the kft 'while giving the right, and
pretending to be on good terms with him.
—Rochester :Post -Express.
All Colors are Weicconed.
A European ball -room is full of surprisee
to an American. In the first place, he is
astonished to find that, in general, leaving
out tho Very high society people, every ono
dances with every ono else, without intro-
duction, Another thing in a large bell at
any Of the various European resorts, you
will sob men of all colors, from a jet bill&
down tti a pale yollew, Waltzing with The
young ladies, chatting and flirting with
them ;bit fad, quite as well received as
any ono elle.—Ncw York Sun.
—In the charge against Wna, Lahey, of
Dundee, for aesaulting., striking and knock.
ing down Michael Laden, ith old maul the
Police Magistrate Saturday fotuld La-
hey guilty and Aned him 45 and costs,,
$12.35 in all.
14X1519.4*I4:49$PIP18 luTrivg.D!
C.9#.2,9 -0.19P34 Af.94440 X4eoe--Preffa"..gree4
4Plit97-4nk—t$$
A uerreeoudenitesr6of the
chief features of the new, fashienii SeeMS to
be a revival of the colors and forms of the
past, 1 saw a bonnet the other day, fresh
frorn Paris, tbat recalled the Jane Clark"
of bygone times. It was of pale coffee -
colored blonde lace, and on one side the
cap,' as it used to be called, was a wreath
of blush roses. On the tpp of this head.
gear was a knot of grass.green ribbon and
the strings were of the same hue.
Grass -green and rose -pink 1 What
would the reethetics have said
to it ? But it was a very pretty bonnet, all
the %same. Another—atill prettier—was
over
eldYr,aowf naunripe ofgreencPril(grteuie.
(green),
ch
The front was fOrmed by a wreath of pop-
pies, and on the left,pide was an aigrette of
poppies—three, placed one above the other,
to Mount it up high—with the stalled show-
ing, and the top poppy the smallest of the
three. The sleeves of a different material
or color to the dress show another return to
an old and a very pretty fashion; but great
care must he taken, or the toilette will look
patchy. Dun -color and dark brown, stone -
color and pale blue, grey (prim and
simple) and violet, or dark green, go well
together; but the sleeves should always be of
the more telling color and the richer
material. The present has one great advan-
tage over the past. he inexpensive stuffs
of to -day are prettier than anyseen of yore,.
more especially the striped ones. I have
just seen a material composed of alternate
stripes of white poplin and white Wien -
Merinos lace, which would make a lovely
wedding dress for a bride in her teens.
Another material was composed of alter-
nate stripes of tussore silk and lace of the
same shade. A frock of that stuff might
be worn with almost any color, and
at tlae smartest day festivities, and would
outlast tWO or three of the white cambrics
trimined with broiderie Anglaise, that
threaten to become the rage, and need to
be so very fresh and clean.—Londan Lady.
lie Wasn't Qualified.
"Did you hire that young man who
applied for your school?" was asked of a,
Dakota school district officer.
"Well, I should rather say we,didn't."
" Why not ?"
"His edioation didn't come up to the
scratch."
"What in?"
" Gram'er."
"How aid you find it out ?"
" W'y, he got in my wagon to ride from
the field to the houae an', says I, 'Did ye
ever drive mach!' Of late years,' says he,
I have driven very little.' 'Drove very
little, ye mean,' says I. I beg your par
don,' says he, but I mean driven.' Drove
is right,' says I. 'No, sir,' says he,
driven is the most gramaticalist.' Oh,
well, naebby ye know,' say t I sorter sar-
castic. I reckon I do,' says he. I'm jes'
comin' out here to learn yon folks some.
Do you see that road?' says I.
I does,' says he. Well,' says I, it goes
to town, an' you want to git right out an'
humpen yerself down it mighty fasten,
'cause I'm goin to begin to kicken ye in
about a minute by the clock!' He saw I
knowed more 'bout gram'er than he did
and he got out o' that wagon an' scooted
down the road. You bet we're gain' to
have a teacher that understands gre,m'er or
none at all."—Dakota Bell.
mesas was a Gentleman.
Some atnusing stories are told of the
wit and wisdom of London school children.
A class of boys in a boardingschool WaS
being examined orally in scripture. Tho
history of Moses had for some time been a
special study, and one of the examiners
asked:
"What would you say of the general
character of Moses?"
"He was meek," said one boy.
"Brave," said another.
"Learned," added a third boy.
"Please, sir," piped a pale -faced, neatly
dressedlad, "ha was a gentleman."
"A gentleman?" asked the examiner,.
"how do you make that out ? "
The boy promptly replied in the same
thin, nervous voice:
"Please, sir'when the daughters of
Jethro went to the well to draw water the
shepherds came and drove them away, and:
Moses helped the daughters of Jethro and
said to the shepherds: 'Ladies first, please,.
gentlemen.' "—Christian World.
"Seed 'Em a Doing It."
It is almost impossible for country people
to recognize the dense ignerance as to all
matters agricultural and rural from which
the children of the London poor suffer.
day or two ago the parson of a London
parish asked one of the children who had
been boarded out under the new poor law
regulations how he enjoyed the change of
air and scenery. "Please, sir," said the
urchin, "I don't like it at all; instead of
giving me milk out of a nice clean tin they
squeezes it out of a nasty cow—I seed 'em.
a doing it 1"—Pall Mall Gazette.
Some Etiquette.
In calling on a lady who is away from
home leave your card. If the visit is in-
tended for two or three ladies at the house
-
leave two or three cards, but do not turn
down one corner of the card, as that custom
now exploded, except in three card monte
circles, and even then it is regarded with
sullpioion.—Bill Nye.
Econothy.
Pater—" Tom, Tom 1-1h18 '11 never do.
Past 11 o' :dock 1—and you've been in bed
fifteen hours out o' the twenty-fortr,"
Tom—" But it's cheap, Gov'nor—'costs
nothing, WhYas directly a fellow's up
and dressed, exponsee begin 1"—Punch.
A Truism.
I don't know that 1 ever coined a matini
worth repeating, but if I ever have it ie
this : " 1 MO my success to printer's,ink."
,=—P. 2'. 13arituna.
The Yossithe geitutig says the Porte has
ordered the Germania Company, of Kiel,
to despatch to Turkey,.a vessel with two
torpodo eittcherS, also nine torpedo boats.
The vessels are required to be powerful and
speedy.
Shelley—Life may Ohange, but it may
fly not Hope may vanish, but can dio not;
Truth be veiled, but saint burnetli ; Love
repulsed—but it returneth.