The Huron Expositor, 1977-03-31, Page 16To Egmonchtilie
Rena Caldwell
362.5935
Kippeh East Women's Institute
held a euchre in the-Legion Hall
Hensall March 22 with ten tables
in play and prciceeds of
approximately $38.00 for 4141A.
Winners of the prizes were:
Ladies' High Mrs. W.D.Wilson;
Ladies' Low Mrs. John
Anderson; Men's High Cecil
Pepper; Men's Low John
Anderson; Ladies' Lone hands
Winners dnnaenrs inafandeys oiina draw were
Wilson
The North Group was in charge
of arrangements and served
lunch.
Returning from-winter holidays
are Mr. and Mrs. Alex McBeath,
Mr. and• Mrs. Ross Faber, Mr.
and Mrs. Ken McLellan.
Mr. and Mrs. Q. Moffatt are
on holiday during the winter
break.
Correspondent Mrs. Gladys Coleman; Men's
Lope Hands Robert . D. Elsie.
=
Correspond-Int
Mrs. Carole Geddes ,
Misses Barb and Peg Grieve
have returned home after
spending the cold winter in the
sunny south of Florida at a resort
called Indian Harbour Beach.
Kr. and. Mrs. Alan Nicholson
have returned home after being in
California visiting with Mr. and
Mrs. Clair Haney.
Mr. and Mrs. James Cameron
were up visiting their daughter
and son-in-law Mr. and Mrs.
Charles Geddes and family, They
just returned from • Orlando,
Florida where they spent a month
visiting Mrs. Murray Parton,
Mrs. Cameron's sister and Mr.
and Mrs. Tom Muttony and Mr.
and Mrs. Curl Hall and their
families,. Mr. and Mrs.
CoUtts of Walton also were with
the Cameron's,
We would like to welcome Mr.
and Mrs. Tom Phillips to our
village, hoPing they find it
friendly and pleasant.
Mr. 'and Mri. Lee Teatero and
boys have just returned from a
week in Florida. Master Darryl
Finnigan was along with the
Teatero boys
Vacationers
William
The Forge
Shakes
and
Soft
Ice Cream
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Clinton - Seaforth
Area Roprosentrative
MICHAEL FALCONER
133 High Street
Clinton
482-9441
spent the weekend with Mrs.
Wein's parents Mr. and Mrs.
Harold Parker.
Mrs. Jack Simmons and Mile
returned home after holidaying in
Florida.
Mr. and Mrs. Don Mousseau
and family returned home after
holidaying at Freeport in the
Bahamas.
Mr. and Mrs. Harold Scruton of
Port Dover visited over the
weekend with the former's
brother-in-law and sister, Mr.
and Mrs. Peter McNaughton.
Rev. W.D.Jarvis conducted
service in Carmel Presbyterian-
Church on Sunday. The sermon
subject was "When my Faith is
Weak". Mrs. Robert Taylor
presided at the piano for the
service of song. The service next
Sunday will be held in the
Sanctuary at 10:00 ,a.m. The
movie "The Cross and the Switch
glade" is being shown at
Brucefield Centennial School,
Saturday, April 2nd at 8:00 p.m. -
Mr, and Mrs. Gordon T. Munn
of Stoney Creek visited last week
Prices steady
at Hensall
Prices were steady at the
Hensall Sales Barn last Thursday
and demand was ,active. Supply
consisted mainly of heifers and
steers. Fat cattle; heifers, $37.50
- $39.50, top to $43.10; steer's,
$40.50 - $43.00, top to $44.50.
Pigs; weinlings $42.00 - $51.00,
chunks $52.50 - $60.50.
\ •
Ontario
Career
Action )
Program
• Out of school?
• Looking for work?
• Lack experience?
• At least 16
but less than 25?
Thp Ontario Career Action Prografn (OCAS,.). provides work
experience to help you land, that all-important "first job.-
°CAP includes on-the-lob training plug —a gross allowance •
of S 100 per week for up to 26 weeks .The aim is to provide
practical work experience and•guidance to enable you to find
employment in private business or industry.
To apply, IM out an application form at your local Canada
Manpower Centre Final selection of applicants and allocation
of training assignments will be made by'th,e Ontario Ministry.
of Colleges and•Uniyersilies
Mi'n sir, of
Coliegr; Arid
Univers It IPS.
I rim Pin DDS
t PA-
I-
16.--THE HURON EXPOSITOR, MARCH 31, 1977
Henson family returns
home from Bahamas
Sugar and Spice
by Bill Smiley
An end t9 fear
Kippen WI holds euchre for ALPHA
with the latter's mother, Mrs. Ida
Munn.
Bill Gibson, of William's Hair-
styling, his announced that Miss
Terry Garrow of Clinton has
joined the staff at his beauty shop
in Hensall.
The United Church Service for
the first ' Sunday in Lent was
conducted by Rev. Don Beck who
took as his theme "A • New
Beginning." The fifteen voice
choir, under the leadership of
Mrs. John Turitheim, sang the
anthem, "Lead me to Calvary."
Next Sunday, Palm Sunday, there
will be special services at both
Hensall and Chiselhurst
churches. The General Meeting
of the U.C.W. will be at 8:15 p.m.
on Monday. April 4, when Mr.
Hare, of Compassion of Canada,
London will be showing slides of
South East Asia.
'Mr. and Mrs. Ray McNall and
daughter Karen of Fergus visited
with the tatter's parents Mr. and
Mrs. Sam Oesch on Sunday. Mr.
and Mrs. Glen Hodgins and baby
Michelle of AilSa"Craig, visited on
Friday evening.
Wilbur billing has been Spend-
,ing the- past week with his
daughter and son-in-law, Mr. and
Mrs. -Alan Olson in London.
While 'there, he and the family
celebrated his brother, -Austin
Dilling's, ninetieth birthday at
Strathmere Lodge where his
brother resides.
Personals •
Miss Debbie Gooding visited
with her grandparents Mr. and
Mrs. Edgar Munn on her return
to Thunder Bay.
Miss Sandia , Fletcher of
Kirkton visited during the
holidays with her uncle and aunt
Mr. and Mrs. William Tinney and
family .
Const. Doug. Wein R.C.M.P.
Mrs. Wein and David of Whitby
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It seems that everybody is trying to
throw a scare into me these days. And I
must 'admit it isn't too difficult.
We're going to run out of oil one of these
days, trumpet the headlines, Not to
mention gas, coal and practically everything
else that provides heat. I have visions of
self, ten. years from now, sitting in front of
the fireplace, feeding the last bit of .the
grand piano into it, turning to the old lady
and asking, "What now, baby? Go fetch
the dyanide pills." ' '
Various ministers of health tell me
menacingly that if I keep on smoking, I'm
going to die a horrible death; if I don't give
up the drink, I'll lose so many brain cells a
day that. there'll be nothing but a pack of
putty behind my eyebrows.
Economists claim that if 1 don't save
some money for my old age, I'll wind up
eating tinned dog food. Other economists
inform that if I do save some money for my
old age, inflation will erode it to the point
where I won't even be able to afford. dog
food. ,
From one of the revenue department's
lackeys comes a stern Ming that if I 7a
don't produce within 15 days some
abstruse document wh'ch I already sent
them two y ears ago, something mysterious
and dreadful will happen. They will "make
an adjustment". I wonder which part of me
they will adjust, and how painful it will be.
My nose could use some straightening.
„."
= , if Quebec separates; according to the
pundits all kinds of ghastly things will
'happen: my Bell bill will rise, along with
my blood pressure; my arthritis will soar to
new heights; I'll have trouble raising a few
billion 'next time I try to float a bond issue
in the States; my wife 'will probably leave
me, because 1 spent, the, first two years of
• my life in Quebecs.I'll have to deal in funny
money, with Saint Rene's picture on it; my
roof will catch fire because of nationalized
asbestos; and there won't be any French on
the back of my cereal box. A fate worse
than death.
Unemployment is rising, and I am
.assured that nobody is going:to. hire an old,
lazy, highly-trained guy like me when there
are all th ose young, lazy, highly-trained
people around.
They tell me that when the anti-inflation
controls come off, there's going to be such
an almighty; all -Canadian grab for the
buck 'that even GOd is:going to wake tip,
grumbling, and wondering what's going on
down there. And I'll be' left in the lurch,
because teachers, on the whOle, will' let
themselves be dumped on rither-thanfight
in the streets and be thrown, in the paddy
wagon. .
Even worse• things are • threatened,;
George Chtivalo, . Canadian, heavy-weight
•
champ, having disposed at one sitting of a
fat turkey called Pretty Boy Feldstein,
might .decide to start a comeback and
demand a rematch with Muhammad Ali (at
the age of 40)
And speaking of turkeys, I have another
fear. Toronto, with one of the worst football
teams in Canada, and an equally inept
hockey team, has now -acquired a major
league baseball team. It will inevitably be
"promising," "threatening," and
"scrappy" for the first 10 years. Alter that,
when it soars from last place in the league
to second-last, it will instantly become the.
"pennant-bound Toronto Bluejays.." So'
much for sports. fears.
Advertisements constantly frighten me.
They tell me I have dry skin, hem,morhoids,
falling hair, crumbling teeth, bad breath,
and high armpits. They suggest -I am
stupid if I don't rush right out, buy a lottery
ticket, and become an instant millionaire.
And just the other day I read in the paper
that the South African doctor who started
the, heart transplant game is prepared to,
use baboon hearts, if there are no human
ones available. No thanks,- doc,-Your can
give me the heart of a pig or a chicken.
Either would suit my personality. But have
you ever seen a baboon from the rear? Who
wants a great, flaming, orange bum?
Newspapers tell me that the Canadian
farmer is going down' the drain. I go out for
a quart of milk and it's gone up a nickel
since yesterday. Some drain.
Everybody is talking about forthcoming
elections. This scares me Joo. I can't stand
• the politicians we have 'now. Why replace
them with losers?
Well, today I decided that I've had
-enough. I'm sick of being frightened half 'to
death .
If the human race, at least in the
Northern Hemisphere, is going 'to perish
for lack of heating, I'll move south.
I'm • going to go on smoking, and will
donate my lungs to a chef who will write a
cookbook specializing in,,smoked lungs on
toast, with' truffles. Maybe I'll get senile
. from drink, but it's a lot more fun tha n
just getting senile.
If I'm going to die, why worry about my
old age? take a steak now ,and let the
dog food look after itself: 4
Let the feds throw me' in jail over my
income tax. I'd enjoy eating at somebody
else's expense for a...change. And you get
weekend •-leave, -anyway,'
• If Quebec separates, I'll rip out .the
phone, which I'd love to do, and stop
floating those billion-dollar loans, which' I
seldom do anyway.
If I can't get a job, I'll go,• on
unemployment insurance, and laugh all the
way to the poolroom, with the rest of the
boys. •
•
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